# The secret to getting laid **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 20, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974 "2011-02-20T02:49:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/61 "2011-02-21T19:42:02Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I should also point out that **I’m marrying a professional actress**. She has a penchant for seeking the spotlight. I was once told “Oh, honey, it’s not that I want to be married; I want a _wedding_.” So bragging to her girlfriends about us, thus putting her temporarily ‘above’ her friends, turns her on. I’m calling sneak brag: YOU SNEAK BRAGGER YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/62 "2011-02-21T19:47:45Z")
Either that or a shot clock penalty on the divorce clock…I’m not sure which. She wants a Wedding…does she want to be married? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/63 "2011-02-21T21:15:29Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Its believable, and certainly mirrors my experience now that the initial “OMG! You’re awesome, I love you!!” thing has worn off. We work long hours, inevitably have to bring work home, and the other stuff that we’re both separately involved in, tends to leave both of us absolutely exhausted at the end of the day and just about able to flop into bed. Mornings are a mad rush between maximizing time asleep and getting to work on time. It all leaves very little time for other things. Don’t get me wrong, we both still love each other, and think the other is insanely hot, its just that we’re no longer jumping each other at every chance we get, because other things take priority. And its not like we have kids either. > > Unfortunately, I’m rather convinced that ours is the norm and not the exception. ☹ I’ve been through kids, and it gets better when they leave, and I suspect it gets even better when I retire. The real question is not how often a week do you do it, but if you do it as often as you’d like. In that respect I’m pretty happy even after 32 years of marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/64 "2011-02-21T21:24:44Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > I’ve been through kids, and it gets better when they leave, and I suspect it gets even better when I retire. The real question is not how often a week do you do it, but if you do it as often as you’d like. In that respect I’m pretty happy even after 32 years of marriage. Yeah, but waiting 32 years for things to get better? 😉 Don’t get me wrong, we’re pretty darned happy together, but well, things do suffer sometimes! ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/65 "2011-02-21T21:34:53Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > The secret to getting laid: Be someone someone else wants to have sex with. Thanks for telling me now! Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/66 "2011-02-22T00:16:00Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > I’ve been through kids, and it gets better when they leave, and I suspect it gets even better when I retire. The real question is not how often a week do you do it, but if you do it as often as you’d like. In that respect I’m pretty happy even after 32 years of marriage. This is a good point. We do it as often as I like, which works out, on average, to twice a week, although sometimes it’s a little less frequent. My wife would like to increase the frequency somewhat, but that would eat into my fugue time sitting on the side of the bed every morning after waking up, and I need that a little more than sex. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/67 "2011-02-22T01:15:47Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Also note that both men and women tend to lie about (. . .) sex (. . .). Men lie upwards, women lie downwards. And all this time, we’ve been doing it in the wrong position Lay? Lie? Any difference? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/68 "2011-02-22T02:03:31Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I’m calling sneak brag: YOU SNEAK BRAGGER YOU! Her words, just now: “Ha! It’s not bragging, it’s commiserating.” Gotta love 'er. Y’know, if I harness the power of the Dope, maybe we can make her famous! You guys’d all watch our reality show, wouldn’t you? 😛 > [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Either that or a shot clock penalty on the divorce clock…I’m not sure which. She wants a Wedding…does she want to be married? It was one of those things where you’re only 95% joking. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/69 "2011-02-22T03:28:59Z")
Method #3: Tell fiancee “I wrote about the whole ‘dancing’ thing on the Dope. Here, look.” Apparently, gentlemen, you can chain together methods 1 and 2 with method 3 to obtain a continual supply of booty. Tomorrow, I’m going with method #4: tell fiancee you told everyone at work to read the thread about the telling of girlfriends about dancing. Maybe I can get them to write a “Dear Abby” about it and get fiancee to read the response for method #5! I’ll continue to report these astonishing events as they unfold. Forget about Libya or the national debt for now…this is more important! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/70 "2011-02-22T04:05:41Z")
Dude, the progression isn’t _geometric_, it’s **exponential**! Stop before you kill us ALL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/71 "2011-02-22T04:30:10Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Dude, the progression isn’t _geometric_, it’s **exponential**! Stop before you kill us ALL!!! I was actually planning to die like Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, but this would be acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/72 "2011-02-22T07:11:13Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Yeah, but waiting 32 years for things to get better? 😉 > > Don’t get me wrong, we’re pretty darned happy together, but well, things do suffer sometimes! When they were teenagers, and both go out to friends, it was like “they’re gone? Let’s go.” Almost like high school, which added some spice. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/73 "2011-02-23T18:04:56Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Its believable, and certainly mirrors my experience now that the initial “OMG! You’re awesome, I love you!!” thing has worn off. We work long hours, inevitably have to bring work home, and the other stuff that we’re both separately involved in, tends to leave both of us absolutely exhausted at the end of the day and just about able to flop into bed. Mornings are a mad rush between maximizing time asleep and getting to work on time. It all leaves very little time for other things. Don’t get me wrong, we both still love each other, and think the other is insanely hot, its just that we’re no longer jumping each other at every chance we get, because other things take priority. And its not like we have kids either. > > Unfortunately, I’m rather convinced that ours is the norm and not the exception. ☹ Not to hijack, but see [this referenced downthread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=598103). ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/74 "2011-02-24T18:53:29Z")
1. Be Handsome. 2. Be Attractive. 3. Don’t be Unattractive. OK, those are SNL’s steps to avoiding a sexual harassment lawsuit but I think they apply here as well. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/75 "2011-02-25T01:35:45Z")
The trick is to get laid once. After that it’s like an aura of sexiness exudes from your presence, giving you a +2 to all future sexy rolls for up to a week. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/76 "2011-02-25T17:51:01Z")
1. Find the nearest brothel. 2. Have lots of money. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/77 "2011-02-25T19:28:33Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Methinks a liquor cabinet somewhere is several ounces (liters? quarts?) lighter. The secret revealed! > [@Superhal](#): > > Also note that both men and women tend to lie about how much sex they’re getting. Men lie upwards, women lie downwards. The Rule of Three. Consistant as gravity. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974/78 "2011-02-28T19:30:07Z")
The thing everybody seems to have missed about the statistical data is that it concerns frequency of _ **vaginal** _ sex. Think about it. _Any_ of those numbers could be radically different in actuality. 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-to-getting-laid/571974.md?page=3)