# The Secret Unrequited Crush Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320 "2001-10-04T03:03:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/1 "2001-10-04T03:03:17Z")
Get the title? This means you can’t trot out those tired old names from the mutual admiration society you’ve got going with other Dopers. I’m talking about people who probably don’t know it, but you’re panting after their every post. Maybe you’re thinking of a little cyberstalking. Whatever. Fess up here. Stroke someone’s ego who doesn’t even know you love them. Lately, for me, it’s **Blackclaw**. We’ve been on different sides of the whole WTC aftermath thing (Oversimplification: “Do we shoot nuclear warheads at or send teddy bears to Osama?” I was on the teddy bear side), yet I value his insights. Not to mention the fact that I’m sure he’s got a cute ass. I won’t mention **Miller** again, even though I have lingering hot flashes every since the haiku thread of months ago. The bastard never acknowledge my first declaration of love, so I’m taking that one to stealth mode again. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/2 "2001-10-04T03:08:57Z")
Triskadecamus. Reinhold Messner (the name kicks ass, plus he’s a cool guy). Francesca. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/3 "2001-10-04T03:15:30Z")
**Alphagene**. No, I’m not kidding. He’s got that whole cranky, brilliant, edgy New Yorker thing going. I love it. I’m sure he not only doesn’t know I have a crush on him, but doesn’t even know I exist. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/4 "2001-10-04T03:17:48Z")
Chronos. He’s so damn smart. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/5 "2001-10-04T05:00:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Geobabe \* > \*\ ***Alphagene**. \*\* Maybe we can share him at the NYC Dopefest, for he is one of my unrequited crushes. **John Corrado** is another. There’s a couple more but I think I shall continue to adore them from afar in secret. ::sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/6 "2001-10-04T05:10:36Z")
See, being young, I can have crushes on all the older women and it still seem ‘cute’, and avoid all the awkward crushes they might otherwise have on me 🙂 But, my heart’s pinned completely on a real life girl :D. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/7 "2001-10-04T05:58:43Z")
All intelligent, sharp-witted, funny and expressive; Scylla, Fenris, Manhattan, John Corrado & Eutychus55. [sub]I’m such a slut[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/8 "2001-10-04T06:00:52Z")
I’ve got a hardon for Mr. Cynical. I wish he would start posting again. :sigh: ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/9 "2001-10-04T11:51:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \* > \*\*I’ve got a hardon for Mr. Cynical. I wish he would start posting again. :sigh: \*\* Damn **Manservant Hecucbus** and I thought I was the only one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/10 "2001-10-04T12:43:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*Get the title? This means you can’t trot out those tired old names from the mutual admiration society you’ve got going with other Dopers. I’m talking about people who probably don’t know it, but you’re panting after their every post. Maybe you’re thinking of a little cyberstalking. Whatever. Fess up here. Stroke someone’s ego who doesn’t even know you love them. > > Lately, for me, it’s **Blackclaw**. We’ve been on different sides of the whole WTC aftermath thing (Oversimplification: “Do we shoot nuclear warheads at or send teddy bears to Osama?” I was on the teddy bear side), yet I value his insights. Not to mention the fact that I’m sure he’s got a cute ass. > \*\* Oh wow. I made a flirt thread. 🙂 And see we can compromise, we’ll just tie a teddy bear to a nuk… no, no. No nukes. I do value your insight though Cranky. Although you did give me a bit of a start. When I first read your post I saw “and he’s got a cute ass,” missing the “I’m sure” part which indicated to me that you’d already seen my ass. Since we’ve never meet, the next thought was “What? Is my ass on the internet somewhere?” ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/11 "2001-10-04T12:50:56Z")
Albert Rose. He’s such a _sweeeeetie_… 😃 ::: blushes ::: ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecb155/32.png) [@Living\_Dead\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Dead_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/12 "2001-10-04T13:13:44Z")
I’m complete jailbait, and a newbie on top of that, but I have to admit a teensy schoolgirl crush on **Fallen Angel**. :o ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/13 "2001-10-04T13:26:43Z")
Wait a minute…I’m supposed to have crushes on these people WITHOUT them knowing about it? Let’s see…what female have I NOT flirted with? This one shouldn’t surprise anyone, really, but I find myself waiting for posts by **Medea’s Child**. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/14 "2001-10-04T13:35:07Z")
Okay, so **Jarbabyj** doesn’t count because she’s, like, popular and everything, right? How about **Tiburon?** She’s my favoritest lesbian _ever!_ ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/15 "2001-10-04T13:51:00Z")
Actually… Um… My only _secret_ crush is… [sub]Cranky![/sub] Yes, it’s true. She’s such a reasoned pacifist that I look forward to her WTC threads. Plus, she flirts great (not with me, of course, that’s why it’s _secret_). Anyhoo, there it is. Eep. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/16 "2001-10-04T14:24:19Z")
My current secret crush is **FallenAngel**. I dunno…he’s just so…mmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/17 "2001-10-04T14:28:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackclaw \* > \*\* When I first read your post I saw “and he’s got a cute ass,” missing the “I’m sure” part which indicated to me that you’d already seen my ass. Since we’ve never meet, the next thought was “What? Is my ass on the internet somewhere?” \*\* No, no… _(giving him an oily reassuring smile)_ Not at all. Just guessing of course… heh heh… nothing to be paranoid about… _making minute adjustments to the spy satellite camera zooming in on Blackclaw’s netherparts_ P.S. Thanks Lindy!! I can’t adequately describe the warm fuzzies that gave me. Wanna see my ass? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/18 "2001-10-04T14:33:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*P.S. Thanks Lindy!! I can’t adequately describe the warm fuzzies that gave me. Wanna see my ass? 🙂 \*\* Gulp! Sure! [sub]What am I, an idiot? How could I turn _that_ down?[/sub] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/19 "2001-10-04T14:39:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \* > \*\*I’ve got a hardon for Mr. Cynical. I wish he would start posting again. :sigh: \*\* I’d be careful if I were you. The last poster to profess his love for Mr. C was some newbie named Portnoy, and nobody’s seen him since. I’m guessing he’s being kept on a chain in Mr. C’s basement. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/20 "2001-10-04T15:41:56Z")
Really? I heard Mr. Cynical was keeping Portnoy in his Box. [/hijack] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320.md?page=2)