# The Secret Unrequited Crush Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320 "2001-10-04T03:03:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/41 "2001-10-05T03:34:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Alphagene. No, I’m not kidding. He’s got that whole cranky, brilliant, edgy New Yorker thing going. I love it. I’m sure he not only doesn’t know I have a crush on him, but doesn’t even know I exist. _sigh_ Me too, friend, me too. It’s sort of one of those “He’s so cool and he would never like a silly girl like me cause he’s just the coolest, smartest, cutest guy _ever_” crushes. I met him in New York last year and I tried to speak but I kept saying dumb things, so I just walked away. _sigh_ Think I’ll just get that loser tatoo after all. I carry an undying flame for **Ukelale Ike** because he is so smart and witty and brilliant. He reminds me of Samuel Johnson crossed with Oscar Wilde, only better. And he’s cute, cute cute. Best of all, I bet he knows who Samuel Johnson is and could wax poetic about Dictionary Johnson’s view of Shakespeare and the accuracy of Boswell’s biography of him for hours. I love it when men talk literature with me. **PezPunk** rocks my world, because he reminds me of this guy I had a mad crush on in high school. He never fails to make me laugh - even his sig makes me giggle. And he’s cute - I love looking at his picture - I even saved it! :eek: **PLDennison** rocks my world too, just cause he’s so smart and witty and kind. He’s the kind of guy I wanna marry someday. That’s not a secret, though, because I’ve outed myself before. Finally, **LuxFiat** was my first DoperCrush, and will always hold a warm spot in my heart. I even got to lick him! I was drunk and practically raped the poor guy, but he was always a perfect (handsome, funny, smart, cool) gentleman. One A-class man who’ll make some lucky woman very happy someday. Those are the main ones. I could go on, but the list would get really long. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/42 "2001-10-05T03:51:36Z")
**Manhattan** –Because he scares me, and I like that. 🙂 **tracer** –Because I have never seen a post of his that I didn’t like. (And he’s got close to 8000!) **David B** –I don’t have the time or the space to explain all the reasons. Man, talk about your **unrequited** love. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/43 "2001-10-05T03:59:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > I carry an undying flame for **Ukelele Ike** because he is so smart and witty and brilliant. He reminds me of Samuel Johnson crossed with Oscar Wilde, only better. And he’s cute, cute cute. Best of all, I bet he knows who Samuel Johnson is and could wax poetic about Dictionary Johnson’s view of Shakespeare and the accuracy of Boswell’s biography of him for hours. I love it when men talk literature with me. You should have seen me when Sua told me Ike really did notice my legs at the May Dopefest. I was _giddy_. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/44 "2001-10-05T04:24:27Z")
_sigh_ Lucky, lucky girl. No doubt your legs are better than mine, but I will so be wearing a short skirt to the NY Dopefest this January. Speaking of which, **SuaSponte** is one sexy babe. But I only say that cause he danced with me, kissed me frequently, asked me to marry him (or maybe it was the other way around…) and rubbed my back when I told him I was going to puke. Here’s lookin at you, kid. Yeah, Ike is dreamy. Yum. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/45 "2001-10-05T04:25:27Z")
Seriously, my crushes know who they are. And I’ve got all their phone numbers and they have mine. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/46 "2001-10-05T04:45:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > Speaking of which, **SuaSponte** is one sexy babe. True dat. But I might be biased. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/47 "2001-10-05T04:47:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan:_ > I won’t mention Miller again, even though I have lingering hot flashes every since the haiku thread of months ago. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Manda Jo:_ > Then he (apotheosis) wrote the most clever little haiku. Apparently, ladies love haiku. Boy, both **Cranky** _and_ **Francesca** have the hots for me. Now, don’t fight, ladies! At least not until the Jello is ready! ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/48 "2001-10-05T08:54:52Z")
Erm…I have a teensy-weensy, itty bitty crush on… **Kittie**. Shhh, don’t tell her! ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/49 "2001-10-05T09:15:17Z")
I don’t think I’d describe them as “crushes”, but I look forward to the posts of Sam Stone, Cartooniverse, wring, minty green, Jodi, Manda JO, SPOOFE (I’ve always liked SPOOFE since way back), Ender24…they’re all great, on many different and diverse topics. There are just a whole lot of great (and twisted) [sub]no, I don’t mean you SPOOFE, not me[/sub] minds here. But you know, there are way too many more to list here, I come up with more and more names all the time. And I’m too fatigued right now to list them all. I think you are all just fabulous. ---
**Author:** ![Karellen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/779978/32.png) [@Karellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karellen)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/50 "2001-10-05T11:09:36Z")
I have a non-sexual, academic-rock-star-type admiration crush on **Muslim Guy**. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![random1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/47e85d/32.png) [@random1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/random1)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/51 "2001-10-05T12:56:38Z")
I have two words for all you people. Liquid fuck… anybody that can come up with that gets my vote everytime. I am waiting to become friends with someone here so I can have them give her a note on the playground. You know something like: ``` Do you like random1? circle yes or no. ``` I can just hear her now. Random1 who the hell is he? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/52 "2001-10-05T13:17:01Z")
Secret? Unrequited? well, that trims down the list, eh? I’m pretty damn open about folks I like. But tell ya what - I had this extremely erotic dream about another poster the other night. Bare butt was involved. :eek: (thanks **yosemite** , you’re on my list o’ folks, too). ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/53 "2001-10-05T13:40:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bluesman \* > \*\* > > And I’d **love** to see **Geobabe** and **Jess** NEKKID! 🙂 \*\* Hell, **Bluesman** I can think of probably close to a dozen Dopers right off that would like to see that. Me included. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/54 "2001-10-05T23:03:26Z")
The Men: **Scylla Fenris Ukulele Ike David B manhattan mrblue92** The Women: **Arden Ranger** (but she knows that already) **CrankyAsAnOldMan wring BunnyGirl jarbabyj LifeOnWry The Mermaid** (ever since she posted that picture of “me,” she’s been one of my heroes) ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/55 "2001-10-05T23:13:32Z")
I shouldn’t say. (Well, after all, it is supposed to be a secret …) ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/56 "2001-10-05T23:16:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > **Arden Ranger (but she knows that already)** And it brightens my days and warms my nights. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/57 "2001-10-06T03:08:02Z")
**OncleBiere** a mon coeur. ::soupir:: ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/58 "2001-10-06T03:26:28Z")
Being, ahem, married and all, I (of course) cannot allow myself to have crushes, even secret and unrequited ones. That said, well, uh, at the August ChiDope I might have realized that, were I to give in to temptation and have one, I wouldn’t be able to narrow it down because ALL of the ChiDope women, including the imports and our waitress, are beautiful, intelligent, charming, funny, and totally lewd. Ya gotta like “lewd” in a woman! ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/59 "2001-10-06T14:12:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\* > **PezPunk** rocks my world, because he reminds me of this guy I had a mad crush on in high school. He never fails to make me laugh - even his sig makes me giggle. And he’s cute - I love looking at his picture - I even saved it! :eek: > \*\* [rubbing eyes] hmmmm that LOOKS like my name [rubbing eyes again in disbelief] IT IS MY NAME! Woo hoo! Not only that but a hottie like **nancho4sara** said it! So you saved my pic on your comp? The “clean” one or the one with me in the g-string with those three nuns wrestling in pudding? Let’s see crushes… definetly **Bad News Baboon** cute AND an awesome sense of humor. The only girl I know that jokes about adult diapers and plays with her food (bannana boy). also **nacho4sara** and **brokendoll** just for being so damn cute! [sub]Now if I could only get that lil redhead girl to notice me 🙂 [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320/60 "2001-10-06T15:15:55Z")
Hey Pezzi, I’ve always had a crush on you… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-secret-unrequited-crush-thread/85320.md?page=4)