# The Seven Deadly Sins of "Firefly". **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 29, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684 "2012-06-29T12:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/1 "2012-06-29T12:11:20Z")
After having read about how the creator of _Gilligan’s Island_ [based it on the seven deadly sins](http://www.npr.org/blogs/incharacter/2008/01/your_turn_gilligan.html), it occurs to me that you could apply that idea to just about any show with a sufficiently large cast. I think it works pretty well, though not perfectly, with _Firefly_. Hear me out: **Shepherd Book** is **God**. He is the only one not beholden in some way to Mal. He tries to offer guidance to follow the path of good, but is frequently not listened to. He is the most mysterious, has no origin story, and is almost ineffable. **Malcolm Reynolds** is **Satan**. His name itself, “Mal”, is the Latin root for “evil”. He leads the crew into crime and temptation, and they follow. When asked by the operative what his sin was, Mal said, “Hell, I’m a fan of all seven”. **Inarra Serra** is **Lust**. That one’s pretty easy. **Hoban “Wash” Washburn** is **Gluttony**. The guy wears a Hawaiian shirt 24/7. You see anybody do that and you just know that they’re pounding barbecued ribs and beer when you’re not looking. **Jayne Cobb** is **Greed**. The dude is a mercenary that would push his own grandmother down a flight of stairs for the coins in her pocket. He will shoot you down if he is getting paid. **River Tam** is **Sloth**. Go with me on this. She is a talented genius with almost inhuman martial arts skills, but she does not lift a finger for most of the series. She is so inert that when we are first introduced to her character, she is asleep in a box. **Zoe Washburn** is **Wrath**. Like Mal, she is still furious about the Battle of Serenity. She will never forgive the alliance, and will shoot you down even if she _isn’t_ getting paid. **Kaylee Frye** is **Envy**. When she’s not mooning over the good doctor, she is gushing about how interesting Inara’s lifestyle must be. She is a brilliant mechanic, but constantly wishing for something more glamorous. **Dr. Simon Tam** is **Pride**. He comes from a rich and privileged background - and everything about him tells you so. He views himself above and apart from the rest of the crew and would not even associate with them if circumstances hadn’t forced him too. He does not even notice Kaylee’s overtures because she is too far beneath him. I know, it doesn’t fit perfectly and I had to stretch on a few of them, but I think it works even better than the _Gilligan’s Island_ thing. ---
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/2 "2012-06-29T13:45:52Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > **Hoban “Wash” Washburn** is **Gluttony**. The guy wears a Hawaiian shirt 24/7. You see anybody do that and you just know that they’re pounding barbecued ribs and beer when you’re not looking. Wash? Don’t you think he’s a little scrawny to be gluttony? If anyone’s eating too many ribs, I’d say it’s the reavers…though it might be best not to dwell on that. And Wash did have that terrible mustache. That’s a sin, right? > [@](#): > > He will shoot you down if he is getting paid. Mostly when he’s gettin’ paid. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/3 "2012-06-29T13:53:25Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > **Malcolm Reynolds** is **Satan**. His name itself, “Mal”, is the Latin root for “evil”. IIRC the first thing River said when we met her was “Mal means bad”. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/4 "2012-06-29T14:10:15Z")
Naah, these are almost all too much of a stretch, other than Jayne. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/5 "2012-06-29T15:12:51Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > **Hoban “Wash” Washburn** is **Gluttony**. The guy wears a Hawaiian shirt 24/7. You see anybody do that and you just know that they’re pounding barbecued ribs and beer when you’re not looking. Hey, there! I resemble that remark, and I’ll have you know that it’s not 24/7. I take it off to shower. Other than that it’s a fair cop. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/6 "2012-06-29T15:32:05Z")
> [@Number](#): > > Wash? Don’t you think he’s a little scrawny to be gluttony? Well, he would be if they had any real food to eat! ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/7 "2012-06-29T16:18:33Z")
Wait, that link didn’t explain which sins the characters in Gilligan were supposed to be besides the obvious ones. Indisputable: Ginger = Lust, Mr. Howell = Greed, Skipper = Gluttony Debatable: Gilligan = Sloth, Maryanne = Envy, Professor = Pride Dubious: Mrs. Howell = Anger ??? Mrs. Howell is bland and sinless. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/8 "2012-06-29T16:27:23Z")
I think Jonas is Anger and Lovie is Gluttony. Look at all the clothes she “consumed/packed” just for a 3 hour tour. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/9 "2012-06-29T17:14:55Z")
That’s the thing. Most of these lists end up having two or three obvious ones, and then everyone else just ends up being shoehorned in by process of elimination. Sure, Inara as Lust and Jayne as Greed are straightforward enough, but you could just as easily use any other permutation at all on the others. Like, maybe Kaylee is Gluttony: Interrogating the buffet table? And have we forgotten the strawberry so quickly? She’s the only one we see having really significant scenes involving food. Or maybe River is Wrath: She’s been done wrong, pretty badly so, and she ends up getting very graphic revenge. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/10 "2012-06-29T19:11:39Z")
You’re absolutely right, **Chronos** , but shoehorning the characters into the various slots is what makes creating this type of list fun. I don’t believe for a second that Joss Whedon meant for them to symbolize anything, and that’s not really not my hypothesis anyway. My idea, if you can call it that, is that with a sufficiently large and diverse cast of characters, it’s possible to assign them each one of the seven (or nine in this case) archetypes. It’s not meant to be deep, but rather more of just a fun puzzle. Someone should do another show next. _The Walking Dead_, maybe? That could maybe fit. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/11 "2012-06-29T19:20:43Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] Someone should do another show next. _The Walking Dead_, maybe? That could maybe fit. [/QUOTE] Well, Shane is Lust, Carl is Boring, everyone else is Stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/12 "2012-06-29T19:28:45Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > Well, Shane is Lust, Carl is Boring, everyone else is Stupidity. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![misling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ab097/32.png) [@misling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misling)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/13 "2012-06-29T20:54:00Z")
Try the firefly cast as the Seven Dwarfs instead of the Seven Deadly Sins. Probably fits better. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/14 "2012-06-29T21:05:01Z")
Doc = Simon Grumpy = Mal Sleepy = Jayne or Inara Happy = Wash or Kaylee Sneezy = Zoe Dopey = Jayne or Wash Bashful = Book Nope. They don’t fit very well either. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/15 "2012-06-29T21:42:25Z")
Wash is always talking about how hot his wife is. He and Zoe are _Serenity_’s resident hosebeasts. And besides,… > [@Number](#): > > … Wash did have that terrible mustache. That’s a sin, right? That was a porno 'stache if ever there was one. So maybe Wash is Lust? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/16 "2012-06-29T22:08:57Z")
Better: The seven dwarves as the seven sins: **Doc** is **Pride**. Always the smart one. At least he thought so. **Grumpy** is **Wrath**. That’s easy **Sleepy** is **Sloth**. That’s ridiculously easy **Happy** is **Lust**. No one smiles like that unless they’re oversexed. **Dopey** is **Envy**. It’s all an act. Deep down inside, he wishes he waswarves as the seven sins as capable as his brothers. **Bashful** is **Gluttony**. The reason he doesn’t talk is he has an an eating disorder. His breath smells horrible after binging and purging all those half eaten evil apples. No one knows that, because he hides affliction. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/17 "2012-06-29T22:26:17Z")
Crap, I missed **Sneezy**. I’m going to shoehorn him in as **greed**. The guy could easily walk to the nearest village apothecary and get some antihistamines, but he doesn’t. Why? Because he will miss out on that sweet, sweet Snow White money once the story’s over. ---
**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/18 "2012-06-29T23:09:17Z")
Ooo, this is terribly fun. Someone do _The Wizard of Oz_, I don’t know enough to. _Mad Men._ **Gluttony** Paul. 'Cause he’s kind of chubby? **Greed** Pryce. He embezzled, after all. And his name is a homophone of “price”. Or maybe Peggy, being the most ambitious person on a show full of ambitious folk. **Pride** Peter with his manlinless issues. Notice how of all the things that brothel chick tries, the line that finally flips his switch is, “My King…” **Sloth** Ken Kosgrove. He wants to write, and doesn’t put up much of a fight covertly nor openly when ordered to stop doing what he loves on his own time. **Wrath** Adam? The dude was mad enough to kill somebody… **Envy** Roger, with his aging issues, marrying a younger woman and whatnot. **Lust** Well Don, of course. **God** Joan. She’s what everyone’s searching for, except for a couple of folks who want to be her in various ways (not all of whom are female). Powerful, and people have put some pretty important words in her mouth. Now lately she’s been “profaned” and you could almost make the whole Jaguar thing out to be a messianic gesture. **Satan** Bert Cooper. A leader figure whom we rarely see for long, who openly enjoys most of the other sins and encourages self-interest in others. And just look at that facial hair! ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/19 "2012-06-30T00:47:52Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > **Shepherd Book** is **God**. He is the only one not beholden in some way to Mal. He tries to offer guidance to follow the path of good, but is frequently not listened to. He is the most mysterious, has no origin story, and is almost ineffable. Plus, he’s dead. What? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684/20 "2012-06-30T00:58:36Z")
> [@Imago](#): > > Ooo, this is terribly fun. Someone do _The Wizard of Oz_, Ha! _The Wizard of Oz_ is a great challenge. **Scarecrow** is **Sloth**. Before Dorothy came into his life, he was was just leaning against a stick in the ground and yelling at birds. He’s Sloth. **The Cowardly Lion** is **Wrath**. He just wants it too badly. If he had a say in this list, he’d pick wrath. Let him have it. He’s wrath. **The Wizard** is **Gluttony**. That one is almost too easy. **The Wicked Witch of the West** is **Envy**. Her motivation was all about how she wanted the goddamn shoes. Her sister got crushed by a house, and what does she want? She still wants those damn shoes. **Toto** is **Greed**. He’s a dog, of course he’s Greed. **The Tin Man** is **Pride**. Interesting one this, he’s the mightiest of them all. But in his past he struck opponents down heartlessly. **Dorothy** is **Lust**. Sexy farmer’s daughter gets three able bodied men to obey her every whim. Hell, **Dorothy** is such a sexy archetype that that little dress she wore is up there with school girl uniforms. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-seven-deadly-sins-of-firefly/626684.md?page=2)