# The Sex Life Of Superheroes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 26, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557 "2003-02-26T03:59:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![raisinbread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/21 "2003-02-26T17:24:46Z")
I would suggest Niven’s essay “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex”. A search of [color=“blue”]Google will send you in the right direction. I’m not giving the link because I’m sure moderators would get their undergarments in a bunch for posting an “adult” link.[/color] ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/22 "2003-02-26T18:45:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sock Munkey \* > Additionally, her powers of invisibility allow her to have sex in any public place. Okay, but the guy she’s with is gonna look _really_ stupid. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/23 "2003-02-26T19:16:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sock Munkey \* > **She-Hulk. She would have problems of potentially damaging a non-super human. Anything that enters any orafice risks being crushed, broken, bitten, or pulled off. Pregnancy would be little risk due to her incredible healing ability. However, a c-section delivery could be needed to prevent a non-invulnerable baby from being crushed to death during contractions. It is unlikely that this would cause her problems in dating as she practically has her pick of any of the super powered men.** That made me think of [this](http://www.majordamage.org/heroes.html) flash animation. > [@](#): > > **Daredevil:** What about She-Hulk? > **Captain America:** No, why? > **Daredevil:** Just always wondered if the carpets matched the curtains. > **Captain America:** That’s _sick!_ I also liked Daredevil’s comment about Ben Affleck. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/24 "2003-02-27T05:07:17Z")
The Invisible Woman can extend her powers around a second person and I doubt Beast isn’t still sexually compatible with a human since some sickos manage to hump animals. ---
**Author:** ![d\_redguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/25 "2003-02-27T07:26:50Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by psiekier:_ > That made me think of [this](http://www.majordamage.org/heroes.html) flash animation. > > > [@](#): > > > > Daredevil: What about She-Hulk? > > Captain America: No, why? > > Daredevil: Just always wondered if the carpets matched the curtains. > > Captain America: That’s sick! > > I also liked Daredevil’s comment about Ben Affleck. God bless you, sir! That was beautiful!! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/26 "2003-02-27T07:35:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sciguy \* > \*\*Rogue: Would require a full-body condom. And woe unto you if it breaks… > \*\* Funny you should mention Rogue. Are you familiar with the “What If … ?” series? There was one in which the X-Men remained in Asgard. For some reason, Rogue could touch people in Asgard without absorbing their memories and rendering them unconscious and such. She wound up marrying one of the Warriors Three. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/27 "2003-02-27T08:45:03Z")
Punchline to my favorite superhero joke: And then the invisible man says, “I don’t know, but my butt sure is sore!” BWAAAAHAAAHAAAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/28 "2003-02-27T10:48:35Z")
I stopped reading **Stormwatch** after about ten issues or so, but I did thumb through some of the TPBs of the later series. One couple that even got caught having sex was the female pyrokinetic, and her boyfriend, who as I understood it, was a gasious form in a forcefield body. The team had another member who’s body was nothing but a gaseous form, and in _The New X-Men_\*, one of the “special ed” students has the same deal. How would sex with these people work? Would they ever reach orgasm, or just be able to keep going, and going, and going, and going… ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/29 "2003-02-28T04:14:47Z")
I have theorized that those superheroes with “unique reproducive needs” have some sort of quiet arrangement with those superheroes of the opposite sex they are physically compatible with. Possibly (but not always) with the understanding of any significant other or others they have. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/30 "2003-02-28T04:39:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Bit of a highjack: > > Why did GL’s always have the crappiest weaknesses? Alan Scott to wood, Hal Jordan to the color yellow? I mean, talk about stretching. The Guardians created a group of robot policemen called Manhunters. They went crazy Terminator-style, so after they were taken dow, the NEW group of police, the Green Lanterns, were given power rings that couldn’t affect the color of the Guardians’ homeworld. The “necessary impurity in the ring” story was to keep the Lanterns from being too resentful. I have no idea about Scott’s weakness to wood. Anyway, to the sex stuff: I would think that Black Cat would have a pretty miserable time trying to have sex with anyone, with that whole bad luck power of hers. Iceman could probably do some new tricks with that Nine And A Half Weeks icecube thing. Martian Manhunter’s telepathy, combined with his shapeshifting abilities, make him the best lover of all time. As I recall, there is a Marvel character called Fox something or other that could stimulate the pleasure and pain centers of the brain. Preacher can use his Word Of God power to guarentee a good time "_ **YOU WILL NOW HAVE A THIRTY MINUTE ORGASM.** _ ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/31 "2003-02-28T04:45:32Z")
Yeah, great, so there’s a story for it. Doesn’t change the fact that the color yellow is a crappy weakness. There aren’t ther ways the guardians could protect themselves without giving their agents such an obvious and easily exploitable weakness? ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/32 "2003-02-28T12:08:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fibber McGee \* > \*\*Bit of a highjack: > > Why did GL’s always have the crappiest weaknesses? Alan Scott to wood, \*\* I’m surprised noone has mentioned this yet, but wouldn’t a weakness to wood be quite detrimental when trying to have sex? :d&r: ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/33 "2003-02-28T13:13:09Z")
Villain: Ha! I have a yellow knife, prepare to die, Lantern. GL: Gee, I’m scared. \ The yellow weakness was lame, but surprisingly difficult to exploit well. Reading some old JLA stuff, though, I’m surprised they never introduced flaming yellow kryptonite. (“Ah! This gem we’re trapped inside has chunks of Green-K, and Gold, AND flame embedded in it! Our powers are useless! Save us Green Arrow!”) ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/34 "2003-02-28T13:49:32Z")
As yet another side note about Rogue (one of my all-time favorite Marvel characters, btw) … Back in the _Uncanny_ days, she and Magneto were very close for quite a while after he saved her life, and this was further explored in the (ACK) Age of Apocalypse (sp? I always liked his real name better - En Saba Nur) storyline. She and Magneto were married, and he was able to manipulate magnetic fields in such a way that they could have physical contact and even had a son. Personally, I was very happy they explored this, because I think it is a very neat relationship. It was also (albeit very briefly - like one pane) touched on in X-Men number 2 (John Byrn and Jim Lee) back in the early '90s, where the Xes and Mags were duking it out (again) and Rogue was hesitant, ever so briefly, to fight him and he saved her life again. Um. I’m done now. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/35 "2003-02-28T13:59:39Z")
Aw, crap. That’s what I get for posting at work and not being able to check my facts. Those books in the '90s, I _think_ were written by Chris Claremont. Dagummit. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/36 "2003-02-28T14:19:01Z")
Just think if Gambit got a little carried away while in the heat of passion? Blow his date right threw a wall. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/37 "2003-03-01T05:54:16Z")
I’m pretty sure Gambit’s power doesn’t work on living things. I don’t know if it affects dead organic matter though ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/38 "2003-03-01T06:25:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Menocchio \* > \*\*Villain: Ha! I have a yellow knife, prepare to die, Lantern. > > GL: Gee, I’m scared. > > \ > The yellow weakness was lame, but surprisingly difficult to exploit well. > \*\* I hire Deathstroke the Terminator to kill Hal Jordan. Deathstroke fires a yellow bullet into his brain from a mile away. Goodbye Hal, nice knowin’ ya. The reason the weakness to yellow was rarely exploited in a credible or believe manner is _because_ it was such a crap weakness. There are other ways the Guardians could’ve protected themselves without giving GLs such a ridiculous weakness. Guardians: We will design the rings so that they cannot be used against the plate Oa. Let’s see a villain exploit _that_ weakness. The whole Guardian thing sounds like a retcon to make the weakness to yellow a little credible anyway. But then again, so little from the DC Golden and Silver Age of comics makes sense from any kind of logical standpoint even by the standards of superhero stories that I could be wrong and the Guardians really were that stupid. Anyway, it ain’t like it helped them when Hal Jordan went nuts and killed the shit out of them. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/39 "2003-03-01T06:32:48Z")
Dammit, why can’t we edit our posts! _ahem_ Guardians: We will design the rings so that they cannot be used against the planet Oa, period, none of this “color yellow” crap because that’s dumb. I guess in those days they thought some heroes needed an exploitable weakness because they were too powerful otherwise. The problem with that though is that pretty much means any villain who doesn’t exploit that weakness has no chance, so what’s the point? Yet villains devising plans involving the color yellow every month would be stupid. The soultion seemd pretty simple, make the GL ring powerful, but make that power reliant on its user in such a way that mere power isn’t always enough to win the day! I swear, were writers back then retarded or something? ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557/40 "2003-03-01T06:40:26Z")
Superman had regular dustups with a guy who could only be defeated by tricking him into saying his name backwards. I take it that your question is rhetorical. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sex-life-of-superheroes/157557.md?page=3)