# The shit of the 21st century is demotivating me to do... pretty much anything **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 24, 2023, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736 "2023-01-24T17:35:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2023, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/141 "2023-02-02T18:35:23Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > But just like living in Europe sucked during the Hundred Year’s War and during the bubonic plague, and living in much of central Asia sucked when Gengis Khan was alive, quite likely humans from e.g. the years 2300 to 23000 will hate us for the sucky, difficult life we bequeathed to them. All sacrificed in the service of one century of raging consumerism, comfort, and hubris. Maybe we’re just living the plot for all those stories about mythical ancient civilizations like Atlantis. Except we’re the Atlanteans with mythical technology that enables us to live by the billions in underwater cities like New York, London, and Beijing that are going to be the subject matter of the myths. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2023, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/142 "2023-02-02T19:39:05Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Humanity has no capacity to stop being bad collectively. I don’t agree. We’ve already tackled some significant environmental problems via international treaties, etc. E.g., ozone depletion. > [@](#): > > Just like the poor, the selfish, the shortsighted, the stupid, or the immoral will always be with us. So we need solutions that work despite the existence of those folks. And despite their active resistance. When did the scientific community (let alone the wider public) first form a consensus that global warming/climate change was a problem? In the 1980s at the earliest. So at most we’ve had 40 years to change our entire infrastructure to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Even if everyone were on board, that’s too little time to get it done. I think we will do so over the next 100 years, incrementally. > [@](#): > > All sacrificed in the service of one century of raging consumerism, comfort, and hubris. So that’s the self-flagellation part. We haven’t had time to change the infrastructure yet, and I think, globally, we’re hardly wallowing in our bad habits while not caring what happens to the planet. Even corporations are making big changes. I translate/write for big Japanese automakers, and they put out environmental reports and are altering their product lines to reduce carbon emissions. Sure, there is still a lot to criticize there, but I don’t think cynicism about what governments, corporations, not-for-profits, etc., is productive. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/143 "2023-02-03T01:43:51Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Duuude, I politely request a bit of reading comprehension on your part. I may be wrong (I checked: I’m not), but I believe @Ulfreida is a dudette. (And this is why we should have pronouns in the bio.) ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/144 "2023-02-03T01:57:31Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I may be wrong (I checked: I’m not), but I believe @Ulfreida is a dudette. > > (And this is why we should have pronouns in the bio.) I also thought that was the case, but haven’t you heard teen girls/young women call each other dude? It’s rather cute! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/145 "2023-02-03T02:02:09Z")
… “each other”, Aeschines. “Each other”. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/146 "2023-02-03T02:06:15Z")
I’m failing to get your meaning here! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/147 "2023-02-03T02:17:59Z")
You (knowingly?) misgendered a Board member and when this was corrected (for the reader as well as you), you responded with a false equivalency which implied that since young women who know each other do it, you get to do it too. Which you don’t, unless your relationship with the poster extends to that level. (Which it might! … but I doubt it. It doesn’t sound like it.) Regardless, a simple “my bad” would have been a far better answer. IMHO. Feel free to respond, just note: I’m not getting into this tonight, nor in this thread. I’ve said my piece and I’m not interested in derailing the topic any more. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/148 "2023-02-03T02:22:55Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > You (knowingly?) misgendered a Board member and when this was corrected (for the reader as well as you), you responded with a false equivalency which implied that since young women who know each other do it, you get to do it too. I wasn’t trying to “misgender” anyone. I meant “duuude” (notice the spelling) in a purely humorous way and not using it to refer to someone’s gender. You really consider that a political faux pas? That’s a bit too fine-grained for my political taste! ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/149 "2023-02-03T02:26:18Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > …you get to do it too. Also, I don’t see young women as “misgendering” each other in that case (with their being “allowed” to do it because it’s mutual, or whatever). I see that as them de-gendering the word “dude.” This is the kind of thing that people on the right make fun of Liberals for getting agitated about. With reason, in my opinion. It reads like a parody! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/150 "2023-02-03T02:50:28Z")
I have bowed out of this topic. If you wish you can meet me in the Pit or ATMB, your choice. I have also self-reported this exchange to the mods, apologizing, as I am not interested in derailing your thread. And apologies to Ulfreida for dragging her into this: _ **I** _ genuinely expected your reaction to be “sorry, my bad.” 🤷‍♂️ Again: as far as _this thread_ is concerned, I have said my piece about this sidebar and will no longer comment. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/151 "2023-02-03T02:53:29Z")
(Please don’t respond to me here. I see you typing. Take it elsewhere if you are that sure of your position.) Muted. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/152 "2023-02-03T02:54:08Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I have bowed out of this topic. > > If you wish you can meet me in the Pit or ATMB, your choice. I ain’t mad, I just think it’s ridiculous. > [@](#): > > I have also self-reported this exchange to the mods, apologizing, as I am not interested in derailing your thread. It’s no biggie to me, so like, whatever, dude! ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/153 "2023-02-03T02:56:45Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > (Please don’t respond to me here. I see you typing. Take it elsewhere if you are that sure of your position.) > > Muted. I didn’t know that MPSIMS was such a serious place! ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/154 "2023-02-03T03:02:19Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Please don’t respond to me here. Also, you said “feel free to respond” above. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/155 "2023-02-03T10:56:20Z")
**Moderator Note** > [@JohnT](#): > > I may be wrong (I checked: I’m not), but I believe @Ulfreida is a dudette. You are a few decades out of date. To quote Wikipedia: > [@Wikipedia](#): > > In the early 1960s, dude became prominent in [surfer culture](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surf_culture) as a synonym of _guy_ or _fella_ . The female equivalent was “dudette” or “dudess”, but these have both fallen into disuse and “dude” is now also used as a [unisex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unisex) term. This more general meaning of “dude” started creeping into the mainstream in the mid-1970s. While it is possible to use the word “dude” to gender someone, in cases like this the term is being used in the more general unisex way. There is no rule violation here. As for the ensuing multi-post hijack regarding the word “dude”, liberal agitation, etc, that’s enough. It is an off-topic hijack, and let’s have no more discussion of it in this thread. > [@Aeschines](#): > > Also, you said “feel free to respond” above. 😁 This is specifically designed to provoke. If you want to get into it with someone, you know where the Pit is. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/156 "2023-02-03T15:56:39Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > > [@Aeschines](#): > > > > No, what gets me down is the grinding negativity about everything in the US now with no real hope for the future. > > > [@Aeschines](#): > > > > There just aren’t enough good people to go around and form good relationships, and of course, the good people can’t always pair up with other good people. Even if two good people form a relationship, they are not necessarily compatible. > > When I come across threads like these I generally ignore them because, well, I don’t understand them. Yeah, Trump sucks. Yeah, he represents a potential sea change in how things operate. > > And this is constant throughout history, even American history. So what’s the diff? > > And I date, a lot. And I don’t date “women”, I date “people” who happen to be women. Every one of them an individual, every one of them with their own personal tale to tell, every one of them just as likely or not to become a friend of mine as any random guy I would meet in the same way, so what is the stress? And none of them deserve to be compared and contrasted to the other as “women” because that isn’t fair to any of them, nor is it fair to the gender as a whole. It’s just me applying bias to a group I myself selected based upon differing criteria also important to me. “You’re good looking let’s meet!”… we meet… “Oh, you like going to church more than I do. Women! They get so religious!” 🙄 > > Again I don’t understand this: Lots of guys I know like going to church more than I do. Men! > > And there’s the other thing: when I hear guys talk about what women want, and they enumerate them, I’m like… well, yeah? Is it that hard to have a functioning car, a profession, the time/desire to spend time with her, and an engaging personality which doesn’t veer into anger every 34 minutes? > > Like I said, I just don’t understand. > > Anyway, to the question, I’m feeling rather fucking great about my future, more so than at any point in five, ten years. Maybe more. And even in the ‘down years’, I was always trying something new just because I’m a try-hard. New business, new podcast, new projects, from DIY shit at home to organizing a bunch of Dopers to write articles about a 25yr Wired Magazine article to starting a business. > > And, as always, dating. 10:3:1. Ten contacts, three meets, 1 relationship which extends for a period (a wild weekend, a few weeks, a couple of months, all with varying intensity). And the relationships follow the same pattern, 10:3:1 - 10 relationships, three really compatible ones, one true lifetime relationship. And I get this is a lot of dating, but I don’t know what to say - but you have to put the work in. > > And lord knows I’ve enjoyed putting the work in. 😉 > > And so despite the shit I’ve been relatively happy because I’ve been busy which has kept me productive. And meeting new people constantly. Including “women”. Because my life and my response to it is in my control, even if the rest of it isn’t. I don’t know your particular situation (beyond what you described here) but this post kind of reeks of privilege. It’s great that you have a functioning car, a profession, time (and money) to date lots of women, the wherewithal to start various business ventures and new projects and some manner of control over your life, but a lot of people don’t have that and it’s kind of weird that you don’t “understand this”. Or maybe people do have these things (or some equivalent) and have concerns that those things are in jeopardy of being taken away for one reason of another. Some of these reasons for concern might be rational, such as the economy. I feel I should also point out that your life appears to be “in your control” because it does not appear that you have a lot holding you down? I have a single friend in his early 40s who is in a similar situation. No wife. No kids. Occasional girlfriend. Works as some sort of IT contractor, so can pretty much go where he wants, mostly outside of the US when he can. And that’s great for him I guess. But I can tell you that once you have a wife and kids, there are a lot more factors to take into consideration with any life decisions and they have much greater consequences. Maybe I’m old fashioned. But to me, once you are outside of your 20s and 30s, that highly transactional lifestyle of constant dating, frequent job changes, and little to no permeance in home or relationships seems very depressing. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2023, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/157 "2023-02-03T19:42:34Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > When I come across threads like these I generally ignore them because, well, I don’t understand them. Yeah, Trump sucks. Yeah, he represents a potential sea change in how things operate. > > And this is constant throughout history, even American history. So what’s the diff? What I don’t understand is why someone so concerned with monitoring others’ speech and asserting one’s own political correctness would not understand why the larger political situation could be depressing. > [@](#): > > And, as always, dating. 10:3:1. Ten contacts, three meets, 1 relationship which extends for a period (a wild weekend, a few weeks, a couple of months, all with varying intensity). And the relationships follow the same pattern, 10:3:1 - 10 relationships, three really compatible ones, one true lifetime relationship. And I get this is a lot of dating, but I don’t know what to say - but you have to put the work in. > > And lord knows I’ve enjoyed putting the work in. 😉 Most impressive! ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2023, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/158 "2023-02-04T20:37:38Z")
My take on the above exchange is my own attitude: the world has always been shit and always will be. Some things get better, some things get worse, the balance can go one way or the other. I’m not so sure this era is worse than a hell of a lot of others that I have lived through. So I go on about my business, work on things I can improve, and let the rest go. I let the rest go because there is no point stressing myself about things I can’t affect. A word about privilege: I acknowledge my privilege, to myself at least, frequently. I was lucky in some important respects with my parents (and unlucky in some other important respects, and I’m not sure I wouldn’t have traded straight across the board). I am white, male, and tall-ish, none of which I did anything to achieve. I can see that lots of other people have more built-in difficulties than I do or did. What I don’t see is that “the times we live in” have anything to do with that. It has always been the case that some people start out ahead, and that more people who start out ahead also finish ahead. Human nature being what it is, I suspect that will always be the case, even if in the future it will be different attributes that mark people with privilege. I can only control my actions, my attitude, and to some extent my feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/159 "2023-02-10T00:55:46Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > My take on the above exchange is my own attitude: the world has always been shit and always will be. Some things get better, some things get worse, the balance can go one way or the other. I’m not so sure this era is worse than a hell of a lot of others that I have lived through. Thanks for your post. I think there has always been the _potential_ for shit in the world, and that potential has often been fulfilled, but I do think that things have improved over time. We’ve gained some concepts (e.g., altruism, human rights, environmental responsibility, etc.) and principles (e.g., slavery and exploitation are bad) that didn’t use to exist and allow us to be better than before. I would also say that, within this gradually improving arc, there have been good and bad times and good and bad places. For example, in Europe during the Middle Ages, there were little towns where there was peace and good vibes, if only because the law of large numbers required that at least some places were doing OK. I would say that, from 1945 to 2001, we had some good times and bad times in the US, but the overall arc seemed to be in the right direction, and we had some pockets where life felt pretty darn good to a lot of people. There were also big steps in the wrong direction as well (e.g., the degradation of Black life in the “ghetto” during the late 1960s onward). I guess the thing I would say that has the most meaning is, “If you went back to the 1970s or 1980s, people would seem a lot different, and a lot of that difference would be positive. People would seem more naive, more positive, more hopeful, and more open than they do now.” ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2023, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736/160 "2023-02-10T18:49:58Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I feel I should also point out that your life appears to be “in your control” because it does not appear that you have a lot holding you down? I have a single friend in his early 40s who is in a similar situation. No wife. No kids. Occasional girlfriend. Works as some sort of IT contractor, so can pretty much go where he wants, mostly outside of the US when he can. And that’s great for him I guess. But I can tell you that once you have a wife and kids, there are a lot more factors to take into consideration with any life decisions and they have much greater consequences. But ISTM that these observations, while valid, aren’t really relevant to the specific topic that JohnT was replying to Aeschines about. Aeschines was lamenting the (putative) general decline in dating and positivity about relationships and the consequent decline in personal fulfillment, for men in particular, because of differing trends in men’s and women’s expectations. For men who do have “a wife and kids”, ISTM, these issues are largely irrelevant. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shit-of-the-21st-century-is-demotivating-me-to-do-pretty-much-anything/978736.md?page=9)