# The Shitbird **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668 "2010-07-23T01:31:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/41 "2010-07-23T14:22:35Z")
Bravo, **Scylla**! I always enjoy your Pit threads, and this is another fine addition to the canon. Just be glad the Shitbird wasn’t actually a raven - it might have decided to bring friends to harass you in revenge for the attempted birdicide. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/42 "2010-07-23T14:34:49Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Just a warning for you folks that like to keep your windows down. Just wait until a tom cat gets in your car and decides to mark his territory. Quoted For Truth, **billfish**. On a roadtrip, my perpetually angry kitty, Raven peed in the car. Lesson 1: always keep the cat in her carrier even if she hates you forever. Terrible smell and it was the middle of summer in Texas, so I decided to leave the window completely down to let it air out. I figured that a) my car was so old and lame no one would be interested in it, and b) even if someone did want to steal it, the odor of cat pee would put them off. Strangely, the odor did not improve over the next couple of weeks. It got worse. Boxes of baking soda, bottles of enzymes, steam cleaning, none of it helped. I had no idea what was going on until I came out early this morning and saw a cat evacuate the car after it had clearly evacuated his bladder. Lesson 2: if something smells like cat pee, and it’s freely available, other cats will investigate and decide to add their own message. My car smelled like cat pee for another two years until I moved to the California desert and could leave the window down and let the car bake in 120 degree heat. There were no cats there because the coyotes ate them all, and for some reason, the coyotes had no interest in my car. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/43 "2010-07-23T14:53:45Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > I have no personal feelings for **Scylla** (a fact for which he should probably be glad), but I like what little I have read of him (although I feel that the blimp story, while excellent, has become a tad overrated), and I thought this was a classic. If this post gives him a hard-on, so be it - I was entertained. I was actually really enjoying this thread until the fanboys came in to shit all over it. Ah, another perfectly good thread ruined. Thanks, guys. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/44 "2010-07-23T14:54:53Z")
Nice how the Threadshitbirds showed up to provide us all with an authentic experience of discovering shit where it isn’t really necessary. Since I park my car in a garage, the Threadshitbirds really brought the story home for me. Thanks guys! ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/45 "2010-07-23T15:51:40Z")
Look, at least you were smart about it, and sat behind the truck. You sould have sat off to the side, in which case we would probably be hearing how much you spent on a new driver’s door window. Also, there are companies who will install just the new mirror portion for around 40 bucks. I know, because I have had it done. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/46 "2010-07-23T15:56:40Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Nice how the Threadshitbirds showed up to provide us all with an authentic experience of discovering shit where it isn’t really necessary. Since I park my car in a garage, the Threadshitbirds really brought the story home for me. Thanks guys! You park the car yourself? You don’t have people for that sort of thing? ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/47 "2010-07-23T16:04:00Z")
Rime. Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Not Rhyme. ::twitch:: ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/48 "2010-07-23T16:24:23Z")
\*Shitbird shitting in the break of day, Take this shiny truck and make it scowl, All your life You were only waiting for this mirror to befoul. Shitbird shitting in the afternoon, Take this open window and go inside, All your life You were only waiting for this Honda to deride. Shitbird shit. Shitbird shit. Onto the door and more on the floor. Shitbird shit. Shitbird shit. Onto the door and more on the floor. Shitbird shitting in the break of day, Take this shiny truck and make it scowl, All your life You were only waiting for this mirror to befoul. You were only waiting for this mirror to befoul. You were only waiting for this mirror to befoul.\* With apologies to Paul McCartney. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/49 "2010-07-23T16:26:29Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Nice how the Threadshitbirds showed up to provide us all with an authentic experience of discovering shit where it isn’t really necessary. You’re here to complain about threadshitters? \*Now \*I’m laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/50 "2010-07-23T16:28:17Z")
What are you going to tell your wife when it starts shitting on the windshield? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/51 "2010-07-23T16:42:26Z")
**Scylla** , it’s too bad you didn’t get it with the pellet gun. Can you try dynamite? Or a giant cartoony mallet? ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/52 "2010-07-23T16:56:38Z")
Just wait until it comes back and starts the “Bird season – Scylla season – bird season – Scylla season --” change-up on him. Will Scylla lose an eye in the aftermath? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/53 "2010-07-23T17:01:24Z")
Birds are much smarter than we think they are. Except maybe Threadshitbirds. They’re probably just as smart as we think they are. ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/54 "2010-07-23T17:14:32Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Yes, **Scylla** , nobody has ever had a threesome, ever. Certainly not on this board, or in this thread. Give me a couple of weeks, and I’ll see if I can refute this claim after my birthday… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/55 "2010-07-23T17:22:28Z")
Perhaps an R/C blimp could catch the shitbird. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/56 "2010-07-23T18:02:29Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > On the bright side, I haven’t seen the Shitbird since. > > Here’s the thing, though. If I do, I am going to kill the Motherfucker. ROFLMAO. I was once at the Grand Canyon and I bought a couple of sandwiches (chips and soda included) at a lunch stand. So my wife and I sit by the edge of the canyon and are about to eat our lunch when this HUGE squirrel comes along and literally dances on its hind legs in front of us. So I throw it a potato chip. It nibbles on the chip and starts dancing again so I put down my sandwich and start tossing potato chips at this dancing squirrel. Suddenly the squirrel turns around and runs away. I think “oh well, that was interesting” and reach for my sandwich only to see ANOTHER freakishly large squirrel running down the canyon with my frikkiing sandwich!!! I look at my wife, she is laughing her ass off and starts tossing potato chips at me telling me to dance. Well, at least it took two of them to outsmart me. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/57 "2010-07-23T20:09:53Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > In the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner [del]Rime. Rime, Rime, Rime, _Rime, **Rime** _.[/del] Nevermind, \*\*Jadis \*\*beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/58 "2010-07-23T20:38:46Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > ROFLMAO. > > I was once at the Grand Canyon and I bought a couple of sandwiches (chips and soda included) at a lunch stand. So my wife and I sit by the edge of the canyon and are about to eat our lunch when this HUGE squirrel comes along and literally dances on its hind legs in front of us. So I throw it a potato chip. It nibbles on the chip and starts dancing again so I put down my sandwich and start tossing potato chips at this dancing squirrel. Suddenly the squirrel turns around and runs away. I think “oh well, that was interesting” and reach for my sandwich only to see ANOTHER freakishly large squirrel running down the canyon with my frikkiing sandwich!!! I look at my wife, she is laughing her ass off and starts tossing potato chips at me telling me to dance. > > Well, at least it took two of them to outsmart me. Now THAT’S a great story! ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/59 "2010-07-23T20:42:48Z")
At least the bird doesn’t hate you enough to commit suicide. I’ve got kamikaze birds. I’ll be sitting down watching TV… and _BOOOM!!_ a [2557.jpg"]bird]([http://www.svarthuvadvitbukspapegoja.se/Bilder/Vilda](http://www.svarthuvadvitbukspapegoja.se/Bilder/Vilda) faglar i Europa/Bjorktrast [Turdus pilaris)flies into the window. I’ve had to throw 7 of them in the trash in the last month, and that’s not counting the ones the neighbor’s cat manages to drag off and dispose of before I find them. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/60 "2010-07-23T20:42:55Z")
I enjoyed the story. I’m secretly glad, however, that the Shitbird lives to fly another day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668.md?page=4)