# The Shitbird **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668 "2010-07-23T01:31:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/121 "2010-07-26T19:06:21Z")
I dunno, he said one in one sentence and the other in another. Geez, the last three words of that sentence sounded dirtier than they had to be. ---
**Author:** ![curious11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@curious11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious11)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/122 "2010-07-26T19:16:14Z")
Is the bird dead yet? ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/123 "2010-07-26T19:40:38Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I am just amazed that one of the biggest shitbirds in these here parts hasnt shown up. I guess I am just a cynic. Damn, you are nothing but a one-trick pony. Or one-trick stalker, I guess. In any event, your shit is beyond tired. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/124 "2010-07-26T19:47:24Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Although I’m still intrigued by this idea that threesomes are a myth. If so, there’ve got to be several million people out there warping time and space. Just not you, **Scylla**. RE: I think the “14 months pregnant” story post is a good example of a similar theme to the threesomes line. At least that’s how I took it. Don’t know Scylla’s actual views on the matter, but I assumed it was similar to that. Since when do people get miffed by Ménage à trois misinformation, it’s just probably hyperbole, no? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/125 "2010-07-26T20:51:30Z")
Depends. Does your SO read the Dope, and know your user name? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/126 "2010-07-26T21:08:26Z")
I think that the big mistake here is that you didn’t bring enough gun. Next time what you want to do is use a shotgun. Sure, it will get the mirror, the window and a lot of the paint as well. But you will for sure get that bird. If you want to kill a mythical creature you have to be willing to make some sacrifices. Be glad you didn’t get a [Questing Beast](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Questing_Beast). Those are a motherfucker. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/127 "2010-07-26T21:19:42Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Wait, were \*all \*threesomes a myth, or just threesomes involving _college girls?_ College girls. ---
**Author:** ![BestWifeEver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/128 "2010-07-26T23:47:49Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > > > Wait, were \*all \*threesomes a myth, or just threesomes involving _college girls?_ > > College girls. I’ve never had a threesome with a collage girl. 😃 And thanks for the amusing story! ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/129 "2010-07-27T00:57:31Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Wait, were \*all \*threesomes a myth, or just threesomes involving _college girls?_ Ooooh . .. tell me more . . . ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/130 "2010-07-27T02:24:22Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > > [@billfish678](#): > > > > I am just amazed that one of the biggest shitbirds in these here parts hasnt shown up. I guess I am just a cynic. > > Damn, you are nothing but a one-trick pony. Or one-trick stalker, I guess. In any event, your shit is beyond tired. Keep your stupid shit up at a high enough level and I’ll start reminding folks of your continued stupidity too. Though I do doubt you could reach that level. Do you blow him or does he blow you? ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/131 "2010-07-27T02:42:26Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > > [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > > > > [@billfish678](#): > > > > > > I am just amazed that one of the biggest shitbirds in these here parts hasnt shown up. I guess I am just a cynic. > > > > Damn, you are nothing but a one-trick pony. Or one-trick stalker, I guess. In any event, your shit is beyond tired. > > Keep your stupid shit up and I’ll start reminding folks of your continued stupidity too. Are you actually _threatening_ to become a two trick pony? Planning to bring me up in every post you make, even in threads I haven’t posted to also? Yikes! Wouldn’t I look like a jackass then? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/132 "2010-07-27T03:18:52Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Fear the shit bird. That bird don’t never change! Or wipe. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/133 "2010-07-27T13:19:22Z")
**billfish678** , I notice that you took the time and trouble to edit your post specifically to include a suggestion of possible oral sex between Diogenes and myself. I can see now how adding that coda really improves the impact of your post. I hope everyone takes advantage of the opportunity to improve their writing through exposure to your wit and wordsmithery, as well as general guidance on how to make sure that all of your posts pertain to one specific poster even in that person’s absence. Is this the caliber of stalking I can look forward to for the foreseeable future? Boy, I’m really looking like the fool, aren’t I? ---
**Author:** ![Lubbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lubbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lubbe)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/134 "2010-07-28T16:28:45Z")
You may just find that the poor male was defending his territory against the other male in the mirror and the effort produced the mess. This happens every spring where I live. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/135 "2010-07-29T02:24:57Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > > [@elucidator](#): > > > > When pellet guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have pellet guns. And pirates. Pirates will have pellet guns, too. > > And rabbits. … And ninjas. and zombies. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/136 "2010-07-29T02:47:25Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > Boy, I’m really looking like the fool, aren’t I? By defending the boards biggest fool? Why yes your are. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/137 "2010-07-29T02:48:26Z")
Besides, Dave Robicheaux wouldn’t shoot that bird. Rescued a three-legged racoon for a pet, cryin’ out loud. Big time softy. Now, if he totally had to, he would have removed the sportmen’s plug on that ol’ reliable pump shotgun and gotten down to some serious business. But a cup of decaff and a pellet gun? No way. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/138 "2010-07-29T15:24:24Z")
In the spirit of the OP, as well as the subsequent piling one: If I shit here tomorrow Would you still dismember me? For I must be scouring out, now, And there’s still many feces I’ve yet to heave. But, if I shit here on you, Scyll, Your Pit thread wouldn’t be the same. You should cede to the shitbird now, Cause shitbird you can not change. Lord knows, I can’t change. Spry, wry, its been a sweet shove. Though unappealing, I am mange. But please don’t flake out, madly, Next shot, bro, mirror frame. Oh, if I shit, jeer, on you, Scyll, This Pit thread couldn’t be the same. You should cede to the shitbird now, Cause shitbird you can not change. Cause shitbird you can not change. Lord knows, I can’t change. Lord help me, I can’t change. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/139 "2010-07-29T18:52:26Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > And ninjas. and zombies. Oh c’mon. A ninja wouldn’t use a gun, and a zombie wouldn’t have the dexterity to operate one. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668/140 "2010-07-30T01:23:09Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > > [@SteveG1](#): > > > > And ninjas. and zombies. > > Oh c’mon. A ninja wouldn’t use a gun, and a zombie wouldn’t have the dexterity to operate one. In that case, there is only one thing left to say Bird Bird Bird is the word Bird bird bird Bird is the word Don’t you know About the bird Everybody knows That the bird is the word. Bird Bird Bird is the word Bird bird bird Bird is the word [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shitbird/547668.md?page=8)