# The shocking sex life of the penguin **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853 "2012-06-11T20:50:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/21 "2012-06-12T23:37:10Z")
I have to say I’m VERY disappointed this thread is not about Burgess Meredith… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/22 "2012-06-13T03:53:03Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > But…but…ducks have dicks! I’ve seen scary pictures of duck dicks! Which birds have dicks? Is there any rule of thumb here, or do I have to google the whole gaggle? Ask **Colibri** , he’s our curator of critters. I had to Google penguin genitalia when I first read this thread, and I feel that I have done my duty by doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/23 "2012-06-13T04:07:02Z")
> [@Southern\_Yankee](#): > > I have to say I’m VERY disappointed this thread is not about Burgess Meredith… :eek: I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/24 "2012-06-13T04:12:50Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Ask **Colibri** , he’s our curator of critters. Yeah, ducks have dicks. Notably the Argentine Lake Duck, which has a [corkscrew wiener as long as its body](http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2001/09/14/366856.htm)_. So do other waterfowl, as well as the ratites (large flightless birds like the [ostrich,](http://www.nature.com/news/ostrich-penis-clears-up-evolutionary-mystery-1.9600)_ emu, cassowary, and rhea). Most other birds lack penises, and as has been said accomplish mating by placing their cloacal openings together. \*NSFW if you work in an office with ducks or ostriches. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/25 "2012-06-13T04:36:13Z")
This takes me back to [Opus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opus_the_Penguin) and those jokes about Penguin Lust. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/26 "2012-06-13T08:17:30Z")
This whole thing makes a good Fark style story but when you think about it for a bit and re-frame it, it’s really not that astonishing. Really, all this story amounts to is this: male penguins instinctively mate with anything that looks like a receptive female, and are too stupid to tell the difference between a willing, live female and a dead or injured female. Yawn. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/27 "2012-06-13T09:14:33Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Really, all this story amounts to is this: male penguins instinctively mate with anything that looks like a receptive female, and are too stupid to tell the difference between a willing, live female and a dead or injured female. Reminds me of something I read; some scientists tried to see how simple a fake hen would have to be to attract a rooster. They started with stuffed hens, then obviously fake dummy hens, and so simplifying the fakery on until they discovered that if they suspended a ball on a string at the height of a hen’s head, roosters would try to mount the invisible hen. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/28 "2012-06-13T12:45:59Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Yeah, ducks have dicks. Notably the Argentine Lake Duck, which has a [corkscrew wiener as long as its body](http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2001/09/14/366856.htm)_. So do other waterfowl, as well as the ratites (large flightless birds like the [ostrich,](http://www.nature.com/news/ostrich-penis-clears-up-evolutionary-mystery-1.9600)_ emu, cassowary, and rhea). > > Most other birds lack penises, and as has been said accomplish mating by placing their cloacal openings together. > > \*NSFW if you work in an office with ducks or ostriches. Look at that, he’s hung like a duck! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/29 "2012-06-13T13:13:29Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I had to Google penguin genitalia when I first read this thread, and I feel that I have done my duty by doing so. Make sure you clear your History file. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/30 "2012-06-13T19:18:36Z")
Eh, I’m the only one who uses this computer. What’s more, I’m fairly sure that my husband doesn’t even KNOW what a History file is, because he doesn’t do Windows, he does some weird proprietary system that only the FAA uses. Last week I had to explain the difference between a browser and a search engine. This guy is in charge of making sure the radar systems in this region don’t fail. Kind of makes you scared to fly, doesn’t it? But he’s actually good at his job. ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/31 "2012-06-13T19:59:32Z")
Who would have thought that penguins are such deviants? For once, they always dress so conservatively. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2012, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/32 "2012-06-14T05:49:23Z")
Well, you know, it’s always the quiet ones you have to watch out for. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853/33 "2012-06-16T03:08:30Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > If he means penguin oral sex, that’s even worse! :eek: > > Nasty sharp beaks, they’ve got!\ > [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > Not just the beaks - it’s [what’s inside the beaks](http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/8/5/1/131851.jpg?v=1) :eek: :eek::eek::eek: May I add that this is now the second Dope thread to which I have contributed remarks about avian fellatio. I am beginning to worry about me. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-shocking-sex-life-of-the-penguin/624853.md?page=1)