# The sickest you have ever been

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sickest-you-have-ever-been/194558>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 12, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sickest-you-have-ever-been/194558 "2003-08-12T02:01:05Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sickest-you-have-ever-been/194558/21 "2003-08-13T13:36:15Z")

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Well, I’ve been sick before, but I think the strangest thing my body has ever done was a rash all over.

I started itching when I went to bed, and itched all night. It was sheer torture, and I tried not to scratch but I _had_ to.

When I woke the next morning and looked in the mirror I couldn’t believe it. I had these purple spots all over my face. I took off my clothes and looked, and I had purple blotches all over, even on my hands and feet and breasts.

At this point I wasn’t itching, and I didn’t have fever or anything, I was just spotted purple like a strange kind of leopard. There wasn’t any bumps. either – I just looked like I’d been in an x-treme tattoo parlor. I mean, I looked _weird_.

I was in college at the time and missed an entire day’s classes and didn’t set foot outside my dorm room. Good thing I had a hotpot and soup, or I would have starved.

The next day the spots were still there, and I started to get worried. I dressed in my most body-covering clothes and put on my coat with the deep hood and my huge gloves. I took my scarf (thank goodness it was cold) and wrapped it around my face, and put on my sunglasses too, so not an inch of skin was exposed.

I got to the Death Center (…er, Health Center) and sat in the waiting room sweating until the doctor could see me, and which time I unwrapped myself and presented him with my new leopard body. I’ve never seen a doctor so confused. He couldn’t do anything for me.

The color disappeared after a couple more days. I lived in seculsion like a leper until my face was clear enough that I could go to class without trying to hide behind a barracade of folders.

I’m actually a very pretty woman! This was _most_ embarrassing!

However, I have felt a pretty close kinship with those fantastical turned-into-a-cockroach stories ever since.

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