# The Simpsons **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 1999, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505 "1999-08-18T04:31:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/61 "1999-08-20T06:11:00Z")
Ah! The Simpsons! I freakin’ LOVE The Simpsons! And, I’m freakin’ tired tonight, so I’m just going to start with my two signature lines, which are, of course, Simpson quotes (the first spoken by Ralph, the second by Homer in a flashback episode). * * * “Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” “English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.” ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/62 "1999-08-20T07:34:00Z")
I once had a .WAV file that supposedly contained every one of Homer’s “Doh!” exclamations for about three years. Lost it in a hard drive crash, and haven’t been able to find it again. ::sigh:: * * * I’m _not_ a warlock. I’m a witch with a Y chromosome. ---
**Author:** ![makphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@makphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/makphisto)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/63 "1999-08-20T12:08:00Z")
Marge: Have you noticed something different about Bart? Homer: Does he have new glasses? Marge: No. He seems sad and withdrawn… Homer: Maybe he misses his old glasses. Marge: No… I’d like to talk to him about his problems, but I’m afraid of smothering him. Homer: Yeah, and then we’d get the chair… Marge: Homer! That’s not what I meant! Homer: It is, Marge, admit it. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/64 "1999-08-20T13:17:00Z")
Jimbo (to Nelson): You kissed a girl…That’s so GAY! * * * “Owls will deafen us with their incessant hooting!” W. Smithers ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/65 "1999-08-20T15:45:00Z")
Hey, Auraseer, the 32 D’ohs! wav is my shut down sound. I can send it to you, if you’d like. 😃 Other Simpson sounds on my computer: “Welcome to the Homer Simpson program!”(Homer)–welcome to AOL “Hello, Smithers. You’re quite good at turning me on.”(Mr. Burns)–Startup “Aw, how come I never get any mail?” (Bart)–got mail (sometimes alternated with Homer’s “Stupid junkmail!”) “Hidely-Ho!”(Flanders)–Buddy In “So long, su–UH!!”(Bart)–Buddy Out “Uh-oh…that sounded bad.” (Wiggum)–program error “Hmmmmm!” (Marge’s famous mutter)–Drop “Excellent.”(said most deviously by Mr. Burns)–Goodbye/sign off And of course, there’s more. I have about 75 Simpson wavs at last count. One of my all-time favorite episodes is Halloween II, where James Earl Jones does a reading of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven.” My mom, who hated the Simpsons, now shows her high school English class that clip every year. Most of my favorite lines have been said…Other loved lines: “Marge, can you close your eyes? I’m trying to sleep.” (Homer) (From the episode where Lisa is lost in the city, and Homer is trying to find her–goes up and buys a whole bucnh of helium balloons): “Sure hope this works…[pause, turns to a construction worker]…These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker.” “Well, I already have some balloons at home, but these are nicer. Okay!” And Rodd, you forgot my favorite part of this quote: > [@](#): > > Burns: “What do you think, Smithers?” > Smithers: “I think women and seamen don’t mix, sir.” ## Burns: “Yes, we all know what you think, Smithers.” “Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” “English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.” ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/66 "1999-08-20T16:02:00Z")
You’re right LauraRae, I should have added the ‘stinger’. I use Simpsons sounds on my work computer (which drives the others nuts!) Menu pulldown: Mr. Burn’s saying “Yoink!” New mail sound: Krusty’s laugh Empty recycle bin: Krusty saying “AAWWW CRAP!” open program: Homer’s “WooHoo!” notice or problem: Nelson’s “Ha Ha!” minimize: Burns saying “Well, that’s leprosy for you!” maximize: Burn’s “Excellent!” Close program: Willie saying “Bonjourrrrr…ye cheese-eating surrender monkeys!” I also have Edmund Blackadder saying “Cork it, Fatso!” for delete. Isn’t technology wonderful? ---
**Author:** ![Born2Read](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cdc98d/32.png) [@Born2Read](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Born2Read)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/67 "1999-08-20T18:18:00Z")
The Troy McClure marries Selma episode was on last night and it had one of the best lines. Troy is dreaming of his upcoming success if they have a baby. Maybe, he thinks, he’ll even have his own fragrance-“Smellin’ of Troy”. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/68 "1999-08-21T02:30:00Z")
“Baby, Jubjub is faaaaaanstastic! He’s everywhere you want him to be!” Program Error - “Core meltdown in 10 seconds” Shut Down - Krusty saying, “Ehh… I could pull a better cartoon out of my aaaa—hey! Whoah! Wasn’t that great, kids?” Empty Recycle Bin - “Shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out” Got Mail - “I am the Lizard Queeeeen!” (scares the hell out me evey time) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/69 "1999-08-21T05:13:00Z")
D’OH! Auraseer, you have no Email! ☹ I was just going to send the 32 D’oh!s to you. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/70 "1999-08-21T23:13:00Z")
“All right [sigh], when I say ‘Hello, Mr. Thompson’ and **press down on your foot** , you smile and nod.” Use when someone still doesn’t get it after repeated explanations. * * * Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together. —Red Green ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 1999, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/71 "1999-08-22T08:13:00Z")
Here’s some links to all those sounds. [http://www.bcpl.net/~jasonk/frames.html](http://www.bcpl.net/~jasonk/frames.html) ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 1999, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/72 "1999-08-22T09:37:00Z")
Another one [http://kdawg.webprovider.com/](http://kdawg.webprovider.com/) Louie this is for you [http://www.kantor.net/simpson/zaius.wav](http://www.kantor.net/simpson/zaius.wav) ---
**Author:** ![Gundhilde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecc23a/32.png) [@Gundhilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundhilde)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 1999, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/73 "1999-08-22T14:38:00Z")
haven’t read the whole thread yet, but thought I’d reply before I forget some of my favorites: “Hey, the lamp’s running away. Bye lamp!” (Grandpa, my favorite character!) And then there’s: “…but I’d be afraid of smothering him!” (Marge) “Yeah…and then we’d get the chair.” (Homer) “That’s not what I meant!” “It was, Marge, admit it.” * * * “Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past.” --1984 ---
**Author:** ![m\_anderson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@m\_anderson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/m_anderson)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 1999, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/74 "1999-08-24T15:17:00Z")
Here’s a Simpson’s freeware desktop theme you can download. I’ve changed a lot of the event sounds to my preferences, but it’s worth getting for the maggie animated cursor alone! For wallpaper I use a bmp I found that shows Bart at the chalkboard. I replaced what it said with “I will not break Bill Gates Windows.” (He has a slingshot in his back pocket.) [http://softseek.com/Desktop\_Enhancements/Desktop\_Themes/Movies\_TV\_and\_Comics/Review\_10407\_index.html](http://softseek.com/Desktop_Enhancements/Desktop_Themes/Movies_TV_and_Comics/Review_10407_index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 1999, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/75 "1999-08-24T15:24:00Z")
My favorites: “No beer and no cable makes Homer…something, something.” “Go crazy?” “Don’t mind if I do!!!” * * * “Can’t kill family now…eating.” * * * “I seem to have misplaced my pants.” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 1999, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/76 "1999-08-24T15:26:00Z")
I loved it when Homer was watching the news and they say that booze causes liver problems and rectal cancer… Homer’s response? MMmmmm beer. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 1999, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/77 "1999-08-25T01:24:00Z")
Oh, man…I can’t believe I forgot this one: Homer and Mr. Burns are playing golf… Mr. Burns – “For that shot you want to use an open-face club, a sand wedge.” Homer – “Mmmmmmm, open-faced club sandwich!” ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 1999, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/78 "1999-08-25T02:27:00Z")
**LauraRae** , I already have the 32dohs.wav file. The one I’m talking about was much, much longer. ---
**Author:** ![RFlowers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecd19e/32.png) [@RFlowers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RFlowers)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 1999, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/79 "1999-08-25T04:46:00Z")
I use some Simpson’s sounds on my system, too - thought I’d share, hope no one minds: [ul][li]Critical Stop - [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/awwcrap.wav[/li][li]Exclamation](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/awwcrap.wav%5B/li%5D%5Bli%5DExclamation) - [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/gramps.wav[/li][li]New](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/gramps.wav%5B/li%5D%5Bli%5DNew) Mail - [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/mailhere.wav[/li][li]Start](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/mailhere.wav%5B/li%5D%5Bli%5DStart) Windows - [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/homcomp.wav](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/homcomp.wav) (a natural)[/li]…and this is from **War Games** , not the Simpsons, but it is _so_ apt… [li]Program Error - [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/syssucks.wav[/ul][/li]Cya](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/syssucks.wav%5B/ul%5D%5B/li%5DCya) Russ ---
**Author:** ![RFlowers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecd19e/32.png) [@RFlowers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RFlowers)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 1999, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505/80 "1999-08-25T04:49:00Z")
OK, so I got too clever in the last post. Here… [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/awwcrap.wav](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/awwcrap.wav) [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/gramps.wav](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/gramps.wav) [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/mailhere.wav](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/mailhere.wav) [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/homcomp.wav](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/homcomp.wav) [http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/syssucks.wav](http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/sounds/syssucks.wav) (I’ll try it again) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-simpsons/8505.md?page=5)