# The single absolute stupidest argument you've ever seen online **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 6, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729 "2008-10-06T19:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/41 "2008-10-07T15:48:03Z")
A lot of these trump mine, but the first thing that came to mind was any of the numerous times I was arguing against this old chestnut: “Marriage laws are already equal; anyone is allowed to marry someone of the opposite sex. Gays are asking for _special rights_!” :rolleyes: Oh! I actually forgot about this gem. On a comic book message board I frequent, a (completely bonkers) poster who has a bug up her ass about gay people argued - in all seriousness - that one reason we should outlaw the practice of homosexuality is because if _aliens_ are observing our planet, non-heterosexual behavior might give them the wrong idea about Earthlings. Gyuh? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/42 "2008-10-07T15:52:27Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Kirk Cameron’s Banana Theory You have confused “argument” with “diarrhea.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/43 "2008-10-07T15:57:43Z")
> [@shy\_guy](#): > > A lot of these trump mine, Not really. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/44 "2008-10-07T16:15:15Z")
Well, I got into an argument recently with a woman who had bought into the idea that leeches could filter your blood better than your kidneys and liver. And that the leech would only eat the “toxins” and return all the good blood. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/45 "2008-10-07T16:58:20Z")
> [@shy\_guy](#): > > Oh! I actually forgot about this gem. On a comic book message board I frequent, a (completely bonkers) poster who has a bug up her ass about gay people argued - in all seriousness - that one reason we should outlaw the practice of homosexuality is because if _aliens_ are observing our planet, non-heterosexual behavior might give them the wrong idea about Earthlings. At last! An argument against gay marriage that is founded on something OTHER than “it’s icky”! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/46 "2008-10-07T17:02:00Z")
> [@Risha](#): > > or whether or not [Mexicans speak Spanish](http://community.livejournal.com/bad_service/1197362.html?thread=27090738#t27090738). But do all people in Spain speak Spanish? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/47 "2008-10-08T02:55:38Z")
Since we don’t know conclusively what causes autism, we’re free to connect the dots to anything we feel like (what we feel like usually being the MMR). ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/48 "2008-10-08T03:43:42Z")
When someone argues that they’re against people being gay (as if it were a choice like being vegetarian) because “it’s unnatural”. Then when you point out that homosexuality occurs in nature all the time, what do they say? “Well, do we really want to be like the animals?” Oh, and I’ve heard one that goes “If everyone were gay, the world’s population would die out”. Just, wow. At most, maybe 10% of the world’s population is gay (if that number’s way off, I apologize). What, do you think the gayness is going to spread and infect all the God-fearing heterosexuals? :smack: \<-- There are not enough of these in the world. Ok, one more concering intelligent design. “If humans evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still alive?” I’ve actually seen this one more than once. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/49 "2008-10-08T14:47:44Z")
[Take your pick.](http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1) The worst arguments I’ve seen always seem to occur in religion or evolution arguments. It’s tough to top a die hard creationist for sheer unbelievable bullplop. ---
**Author:** ![Constant\_Reader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8edcca/32.png) [@Constant\_Reader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Constant_Reader)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/50 "2008-10-08T15:00:42Z")
Whether or not Dragonborn women have [breasts](http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=963808). An 18 page thread on whether or not to draw Dragonborn women with breasts… ---
**Author:** ![cedman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cedman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cedman)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/51 "2008-10-08T16:51:34Z")
A man once told me, _in all seriousiness_, that… **"the Jews didn’t lose all that much in the Nazi camps. Because of all those medical experiments, there are more Jewish doctors nowadays than all other religions."** After 25 years I still remember his exact words. If they ever come up with a memory flush medicine, I’ll be the first in line. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/52 "2008-10-08T17:14:23Z")
Recently? Sarah Palin has foreign policy experience because from some parts of Alaska you can see parts of Russia. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/53 "2008-10-08T17:56:38Z")
I don’t spend too much time on message boards and discussion forums outside the SDMB. I’m a member of a couple of other boards, but most of my online conversations and debates occur right here. My “stupidest argument ever,” therefore, comes from right here on this message board. The poster was the late, unlamented **milroyj**. It would be possible to find a whole plethora of really dumb arguments by this guy, but the one that really stood out to me had nothing to do with his politics or even with any specific position he held. It was about what constitutes a valid citation. He started [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=274735) to accuse another Doper of lying, based on the argument that there was no cite available for a comment allegedly made by Barbara Bush, wife of former president George H.W. Bush. A bunch of people provided him with citations for the comment, and i went to the trouble of copying the transcript from Lexis/Nexis. This was his response: > [@milroyj](#): > > mhendo, I am not questioning your honesty in any way. But I find it kinda strange that literally no one can provide a legitimate cite for the quotation. > > [commondreams.org](http://commondreams.org) is not a cite > [charlierose.com](http://charlierose.com) is not a cite > [underreported.com](http://underreported.com) is not a cite > [freepressed.com](http://freepressed.com) is not a cite > > Saying that it’s on a [transcripts.tv](http://transcripts.tv) but that you’re not going to pay for it is not a cite. > > Saying that you found it on Lexus/Nexis, but can’t link to it, is not a cite. From then on, the thread took a completely surreal turn, as **milroyj** rejected any linkable citation on the gronds that it was not a valid source, and rejected valid sources (e.g., Lexis/Nexis) on the grounds that i couldn’t provide him a direct link (because it’s a subscription-only database). It was one of the most incredible exercises in obtuseness and ignorance that i’ve ever seen. You really need to read the whole thread to get the flavor of this guy’s stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/54 "2008-10-08T18:01:55Z")
> [@interface2x](#): > > A guy and I were arguing on another forum about whether 9/11 was an inside job / conspiracy / whatever. He named various cliched things that have been disproven, I pointed out the one-stop Popular Mechanics article that debunks the claims one by one. > > He then told me that Popular Mechanics is owned by a corporation and corporations are controlling everything, including the 9/11 inside job, so _of course_ they’re going to say it wasn’t a conspiracy. > > I backed away slowly. This must be his argument- [Popular Mechanics Attacks the "9/11 LIES" Straw Man](http://911research.wtc7.net/essays/pm/) ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/55 "2008-10-08T18:08:03Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > [Take your pick.](http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1) > > The worst arguments I’ve seen always seem to occur in religion or evolution arguments. It’s tough to top a die hard creationist for sheer unbelievable bullplop. I feel like I’ve lost 40 IQ points, and I only read about 1/4 of that. You owe me some brain cells. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/56 "2008-10-08T18:17:11Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > When someone argues that they’re against people being gay (as if it were a choice like being vegetarian) because “it’s unnatural”. > > \ I have friends who tell me they love the smell of meat, and would love to eat it, but that they become physically ill when they try to even taste it- it is not a choice they have made to be vegetarian. As I am too good of a friend to try to slip them some to see if they are telling the truth, I can’t judge the veracity of this, however. ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/57 "2008-10-08T19:23:36Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > I have friends who tell me they love the smell of meat, and would love to eat it, but that they become physically ill when they try to even taste it- it is not a choice they have made to be vegetarian. > > As I am too good of a friend to try to slip them some to see if they are telling the truth, I can’t judge the veracity of this, however. The absolute stupidest argument you’ve ever seen online involves friends whose claims you aren’t sure are true or not? ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/58 "2008-10-08T19:51:47Z")
> [@Constant\_Reader](#): > > Whether or not Dragonborn women have [breasts](http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=963808). An 18 page thread on whether or not to draw Dragonborn women with breasts… Well, considering that none of those dorks has ever actually seen an unclothed female breast, you could see why they dwell.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/59 "2008-10-08T20:03:03Z")
> [@interface2x](#): > > He then told me that Popular Mechanics is owned by a corporation and corporations are controlling everything, including the 9/11 inside job, so _of course_ they’re going to say it wasn’t a conspiracy. My favorite dumb argument was also from a 9/11 “discussion” I had with a friend via email. He linked to an essay that argued that an easy way to prove that the towers were brought down by the airplanes crashing into it would be to build a scale model of the WTC, then crash a scale model of a passenger jet into it. The fact that no one has done this was touted as evidence that the engineers who investigated the WTC attacks were idiots who didn’t know anything about physics. The guy who wrote the article was a professional fisherman. When I pointed out to my friend that, on my side, I had literally thousands of engineers, architects, and physicists, and on his side, he had the Gorton’s Fisherman, I was accused of being elitist. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729/60 "2008-10-08T22:44:48Z")
> [@cmosdes](#): > > The absolute stupidest argument you’ve ever seen online involves friends whose claims you aren’t sure are true or not? Sorry- responding to the fact that the previous poster stated vegetarianism was a choice… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-absolute-stupidest-argument-youve-ever-seen-online/466729.md?page=4)