# The Single People Comfort Zone

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 5, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234 "2003-03-05T14:08:53Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/101 "2003-03-06T20:48:21Z")

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Oh no, look what the lesbians are doing with the light sabers.

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**Author:** ![Convict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Convict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Convict)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/102 "2003-03-06T21:03:05Z")

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Wait, let me get the lens cap off the video camera!

[sounds of struggling]

There we go…wait, the lighting isn’t very good over here…could all you lesbians please move a little to the left? Thanks!

And could someone get me another beer…I’m kind of busy over here.

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**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/103 "2003-03-06T21:12:20Z")

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Look, keep the camera away from me for now. I don’t yet know if I’m married or in a lesbian relationship, so until I know I don’t intend to be caught on tape.

And light sabers are a phallic symbol, aren’t they?

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**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/104 "2003-03-06T21:13:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Convict and Jack@ss, congratulations.

**Convict** , Here’s your beer. btw, I’m male & straight. If you’re male too, we’ll have to settle for being roommates. The room is furnished, but if you have your own bedroom stuff, I can store it in the garage.

And I want a copy of that tape!

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**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/105 "2003-03-06T21:32:33Z")

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Hey **Kn\*ckers!** Pass me a light saber.

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**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/106 "2003-03-06T21:40:37Z")

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Wow. This got out of hand quickly!

This lesbian is hooking up her XBOX to the 54 inch flat screen digital TV and wondering who wants to play Halo against her on one of the _other_ 54 inch flat screen digital TVs? Let’s go kick some Flood ass!

Tibs.

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/107 "2003-03-06T21:41:52Z")

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Should I start mixing some cocktails?

Anyone for a Blue Monday Nightcap?

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**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/108 "2003-03-06T21:56:25Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Sunspace \*  
> [BSo, **Einmon** … how you doin’?_ 😃
> 
> \*[sub]Male, female, other?[/sub] 🙂 \*\*

Female, hon. Does this mean we can happily ride off into the sunset? Yay! As soon as I finish this game of Hearts. And the ice cream. And the Halo game.

Oh, the joys of being single…I don’t think random pairing of people contradicts Singledom, by the way. Not if hot tubs are involved.

And **Bippy** , you can always count me in for a drink.

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**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/109 "2003-03-06T23:39:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _ **Einmon** said:_  
> Female, hon.

_Whew._ That’s a relief. Female or male I can, er, handle, 🙂 but ‘other’? …there are times when having a visual imagination is a curse.

\<glances at hot-tub festivities\>  
And then there are times when it isn’t. :D:D:D

> [@](#):
>
> Does this mean we can happily ride off into the sunset?

Sure. But I think we _both_ need to take care of some …loose ends here.

\<grabs light sabre\>  
\<Bvvvvvvvvvvvvvv\>  
Yuuuse the faaarce, Luuuuuke!  
\<BvvvvvvvVVVVvvvvvv\>  
\<Another light sabre starts up\>  
\<BBvvvvvvvvvv\>  
**Luuke. Join Us.**  
\<rrrrAAOOwwwwvvvvvvvwaoooowwww\>  
I’ll never join you, Voder!  
\<vvvvvvvvvwwwaaaOOOwww\>  
**Come to the Dark Side, Luke! You know you want to!**  
\<vvvvvvvv\>  
\<vvvVVVVVWWWAAVVVvvvv\>  
Never!!!  
\<VVVVVVVVVWWWAA\>  
\<VVVVVVVVVWWWAA\>  
**KRAACK!!!**  
\<AOOVVVVvvvVVVVVWWWAA\>  
\<AAAOOOOVVVvvvvvvvVVVVvvvvVVWWWAA\>  
**KRAACK!!**  
\<vvvWWA\>  
\<VWAA\>  
**KRAACK-K-K-K!!!**  
**Come to the Hot Tub of Carkoon, Luke. It is your Destiny…**  
**KRAACK!!**  
**\<VVVVVWWWWAAOOAA\>**  
_trip_  
AAIIIEEEE…!

**SPLASH**

\<pause\>  
\< **Sunspace** surfaces and looks around\>

So… how _you_ doin’? 😃

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/110 "2003-03-07T00:05:05Z")

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Vodka-Cointreau-Blue Curacao and a tiny drip of pure orange oil  
crack the ice, in the shaker, and SHAKE…

brrrrr s’cold.

Anyone who doesn’t like sweet coctails, I’ll mix Vodka-Tinis next.

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**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/111 "2003-03-07T00:34:38Z")

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**Sunspace** : See what you made me do? Now you’ve made me choke on my wine. And who’ll clean my keyboard now, may I ask? But I guess that’s a good thing. I like funny in a guy. Or “other”… could be interesting 🙂

**Bippy** : I’ll hang on till the Vodka-Tinis.

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/112 "2003-03-07T01:21:35Z")

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**Einmon** do you have any olives in the fridge? oh and any coctail sticks ?

Starts mixing the 6 pints of Vodka, a teaspoon of dry martini, and a slice of lemon skin, with reusable icecubes (to stop the drink getting diluted).

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**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/113 "2003-03-07T01:29:42Z")

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_rummage_ Yes, I have olives…no cocktail sticks, though. Oh well, let’s just screw the decorative aspect and throw them right in. Let’s not get carried away with the lemon, though. Too much vitamin C can be unhealthy, ya know? Especially after I ate all them veggies. With dip.

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**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/114 "2003-03-07T02:14:40Z")

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Hey…anybody left to pair up with me?

I’m female.

And what’s a Blue Monday Nightcap? I’ve never heard of one of those before.

And I just looooove olives.

Oh, and, while everyone was bringing music (before the orgy broke out, that is), I ran and got my kick-butt CDs of various Brazilian artists. Who rock completely.

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**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/115 "2003-03-07T02:24:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Scribble \*  
> \*\*Hey…anybody left to pair up with me?
> 
> I’m female.
> 
> And what’s a Blue Monday Nightcap? I’ve never heard of one of those before.
> 
> And I just looooove olives.
> 
> Oh, and, while everyone was bringing music (before the orgy broke out, that is), I ran and got my kick-butt CDs of various Brazilian artists. Who rock completely. \*\*

Well seeing as **El Elvis Rojo** officially dumped me I guess we can hook up. I warn you though, I’m a lightweight drinker. If I pass out just take advantage of me. 😉

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**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/116 "2003-03-07T02:25:13Z")

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I want to join too :sniff:

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**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/117 "2003-03-07T02:32:28Z")

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If it’s any consolation, Amp, I’m a pretty lousy drunk, too.

After one beer, I’m usually ready to fall asleep. Pathetic, I know.

I know it sucks to be dumped, Amp, my friend, but look at it this way. It’s his loss. 😉

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**Author:** ![Convict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Convict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Convict)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/118 "2003-03-07T02:58:38Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jack@ss \*  
> **Convict, Here’s your beer.**

Thanks, I appreciate it.

> [@](#):
>
> **btw, I’m male & straight.**

Me too…I guess I’m going to need a few more beers.

> [@](#):
>
> **If you’re male too, we’ll have to settle for being roommates. The room is furnished, but if you have your own bedroom stuff, I can store it in the garage.**

Thanks, but I’m really hoping to move to Chicago. I don’t think this is going to work out. Nothing against you, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but you’re not really my type. I want to meet someone with out a…uh…you know…dink (I’m not saying you have a small one, it’s just…oh forget it, I definitely need another beer).

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*And I want a copy of that tape! \*\*

No problem…since I broke it off with you I’ll give you a copy for free. If anyone else wants one it’s only $5.99 plus shipping and handling.

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**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/119 "2003-03-07T07:43:18Z")

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_sigh_ this is turning into a straight people’s dating service. Hey, **Homebrew** , come join me in the kitchen. I’ll show you what’s in the oven! 😃

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**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2003, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-single-people-comfort-zone/159234/120 "2003-03-07T10:35:22Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Freyr \*  
> \*\*_sigh_ this is turning into a straight people’s dating service. \*\*

You DID see the part about the lesbians in the hot tub? … ah well…ahem…never mind…carry on in the kitchen

Maybe we should resort to boardgames 🙂 Let’s try Monopoly or some such, I shudder to think what words will come up if we play Scrabble…

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