# The sleazy fucking jerk. No, she's not interested in you **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 12, 2008, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sleazy-fucking-jerk-no-shes-not-interested-in-you/476818 "2008-12-12T02:12:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sleazy-fucking-jerk-no-shes-not-interested-in-you/476818/241 "2008-12-17T03:58:28Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Sorry if my original post in this little episode was unclear, but I was pushed for time. Thank you. You could have saved yourself a lot of time by writing this back in post #106. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Even though you clearly took it the wrong way, he explained (more than once) what he meant and in fact, even apologized that it caused you initial offense. No, he did not. He could again have saved himself some time if he had, but “I regret any distress you have suffered” is not an apology, particularly not when followed by “I decline to accept the responsibility.” An apology isn’t just an expression of pity, it is _accepting_ the responsibility for an error or wrong action. “I regret any distress I have caused you” would have been an apology, although in this particular situation “I’m sorry, I see now I phrased that badly, but I intended no offense” would have been sufficient. I bring this up not because of **Malacandra** in particular, but because it’s a mistake I’ve seen a lot of posters make. Actually, I think it most cases it’s done intentionally to avoid giving an actual apology, but sometimes it may be an honest mistake. Either way, an “unapology” is not going to ease any tensions, it’s only going to make things worse. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sleazy-fucking-jerk-no-shes-not-interested-in-you/476818/242 "2008-12-17T13:31:24Z")
There now, isn’t that nice? And while the spirit of reconciliation is at work, I ought to apologise for likening **Bridget Burke** to Skippy. That poor 'roo never did me any harm, now did it? Returning to our muttons, one of my old girlfriends lost her virginity in the late 1960s to a man about as old as her father, quite by choice. She enjoyed the status of associating with an older, richer man and felt it put her one-up on her peers. What she got out of the sex _qua_ sex I’m uncertain, since she also told me she never had an orgasm until she was 29, but she seemed to speak of it with fondness nonetheless. As for me, I’m extremely married, and what in the world I’d want with a naive teenager is very much open to question. Other than superficialities like clear skin, flat stomach, firm thighs, breasts that don’t sag… Erm… What was I saying again? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sleazy-fucking-jerk-no-shes-not-interested-in-you/476818/243 "2008-12-17T13:42:38Z")
I certainly don’t have any delusions about 18 year old women being interested in having sex with me. (For that matter, I don’t see why _any_ woman would look at my graying beard and bulging belly and think about having sex with me.) If I smile and say hello to someone it’s because I’m interested in having a conversation with them. I’m trying to get out of the hermit mode I’ve been in since I retired and get out more, so any social contact is a plus for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-sleazy-fucking-jerk-no-shes-not-interested-in-you/476818.md?page=12)