# the smilies here fuckin' suck **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560 "2004-05-28T19:37:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/21 "2004-05-29T02:18:35Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Neither one gets a point across… if you hate Bush, try expressing it in fully thought sentences instead of relying on an idiotic mish-mash of singular words and graphics. Bush + me = :mad: Nader + me = :smack: Kerry + me = :rolleyes: Now, was that so hard? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/22 "2004-05-29T02:27:07Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > There are freakin’ _chorus lines_ of choreographed smilies. > > In _ **signatures** _. > > Thanks all the same, but I find that my reading comprehension is better when my eyeballs are not bleeding. Gah! I can’t read parenting boards\* because each sig is full of animated smilies representing each member of the family. The cutesy smiley dressed in baby blue, learning to sit up. The cutesy smilie sucking a pacifier with _authentic sucking animation_ ™. The manly man smilie for the hubby. The gooey sweet smilie with a pregnant belly and a hair bow with animated hearts above her head as she blows kisses at the manly man. And it’s apparently the law that you must include your sig on every post… Death to animated smilies! - Well, there are other reasons I can’t read parenting boards, but that thread’s been done. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/23 "2004-05-30T01:13:31Z")
My God, what has happened to this board? We have a thread in the Pit for God’s sake on the quality of smilies! Departing members warned us that charging for memberships would hurt the board, but I never thought it would come in this fashion. Bring back trolls, bring back sock puppets, give Jack Chick a free membership, but for heaven’s sake don’t let us descend to the level of discussing the quality of smilies in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/24 "2004-05-30T12:15:58Z")
Have patience. This is part of a long-term project. By 1 April 2005, we will have added sufficient smilies that we will disable the alphanumeric characters. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/25 "2004-05-30T12:43:58Z")
:dubious: - This guy kind of sucks because he looks like a pirate. Nothing wrong with pirates at all, I actually quite like them, but he isn’t _supposed_ to look like a pirate. They need to tweak that eyebrow and the left side of his mouth a little bit. :o - This guy sucks because, like others have said, he looks like he’s yawning. I’ve never yawned when I was embarassed. As for the rest of them - they’re all pretty cool and I’m glad for the limited selection. The pukies and machine guns and smashies and most other smilies are just too much. I’m also very, very glad that ours aren’t animated. If anything we just need a smiley that conveys true embarassment - a feeling I’ve experienced quite often making some of my more ridiculous posts 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/26 "2004-05-30T12:46:22Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > :dubious: - This guy kind of sucks because he looks like a pirate. Nothing wrong with pirates at all, I actually quite like them, but he isn’t _supposed_ to look like a pirate. They need to tweak that eyebrow and the left side of his mouth a little bit. Ya. Sure. ‘Some of my best friends are pirates’, huh? Your thinly-veiled Piratophobia is disgusting. > [@](#): > > :o - This guy sucks because, like others have said, he looks like he’s yawning. I’ve never yawned when I was embarassed. To me, it looks like he is getting ready to do something else, but since this is a family-friendly forum… ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/27 "2004-05-30T13:31:38Z")
_hehehehe_, **Brutus** Originally posted by **C K Dexter Haven** > [@](#): > > _Have patience. This is part of a long-term project. By 1 April 2005, we will have added sufficient smilies that we will disable the alphanumeric characters._ April first, huh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/28 "2004-05-30T17:15:03Z")
> [@](#): > > To me, it looks like he is getting ready to do something else, **but since this is a family-friendly forum…** Bwahahahaahahahahahahahaha. Oh, and smilies suck. I did like your Emoticon theater, however. First good use of Smilies I’ve seen on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/29 "2004-05-30T18:02:46Z")
> [@TV time](#): > > \*snip-snap[/] **give Jack Chick a free membership** , but for heaven’s sake don’t let us descend to the level of discussing the quality of smilies in the Pit. You say that as if it would be a bad thing… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mkl12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@mkl12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkl12)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/30 "2004-05-30T20:06:57Z")
For a real smiley overdose, here’s the [**Ultimate Straight Dope Art Thread**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44684&perpage=40&highlight=gallery&pagenumber=1)! Just imagine that thread animated :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/31 "2004-05-31T04:23:33Z")
I’d like an evil devil smiley, and also a devil smiley with an evil grin. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/32 "2004-05-31T04:42:05Z")
> [@mkl12](#): > > For a real smiley overdose, here’s the [**Ultimate Straight Dope Art Thread**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44684&perpage=40&highlight=gallery&pagenumber=1)! > > Just imagine that thread animated :eek: Egad, no! NOOOOOOOO!!! :eek: There are things that mortal eyes were never meant to behold. By the way, have you noticed what happens to the happy Jewish guy ;j when you roll the cursor over him? [singing in high childish whine] “It’s a small world after all…” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/33 "2004-05-31T05:00:20Z")
Lack of smilies make us work harder to express our actual emotions rather than relying on code. It would not exactly be couth to bring to a debate a picture of one’s self shooting at GWB\* and have that be one’s entire argument; on the other hand, expressing why one has such distaste for the man’s policies, and the administration as a whole, seems an argument destined for at least more respect and scholarship, if not the product of someone with more than a five-year-old’s mind. \*GWB cited purely because the OP did. Woulda done same for Clinton, GHWB, Reagan, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Iacob\_Matthew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Iacob\_Matthew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iacob_Matthew)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/34 "2004-05-31T23:02:06Z")
As luck would have it, I’m browsing using opera, and the advertisement up right now is “more smilies!” Looking at it, I’m thanking God we don’t have those I get my smilie overload from another beloved forum of mine, oddwebsite. It’s a very quirky place there, and it works. They’re almost as clever as this place, but they’re sick. As in, the swear filter is a picture of the owner’s cat, so they make threads (and titles) out of cat art. You can change your own name in your “personal profile,” and so can all the Admins, so keeping track of who’s who is almost impossible. They occasionally have posts that are about 5 minutes of hitting “Page Down,” with nothing but smilies. The owner occasionally loads some random music for the background and has it play everywhere you go. There are occasional “rap contests,” which may or may not have once resulted in a rap remix of the Muslim Call To Prayer. A thread occasionally gets entirely replaced by a mod editting every individual post into a new one to make a coherent conversation, and then making it incomprehensible by moving the individual posts to another thread and/or tacking them onto the end until it’s all sorted in alphabetical order by poster. What Smilies can do to freakishly intelligent people is far, far scarier than what they can do with the dimwitted and slow. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/35 "2004-06-01T11:57:18Z")
posters who disagree with me :mad: :mad: :mad: posters who agree with me 😃😃😃 actually, I think all smilies fuckin’ suck, except this one :smack: A wanking smilie would be very useful. I just felt like dissing something on Friday and most everything else in life is going pretty well. I do remember when “emoticons” first started hitting email and newsgroups. Maybe '92 – or at least that’s about when I first started seeing them. Of course that coincides with when I first started using email, so they probably pre-date that. I swore then that I would never put : ) in an email. I never have to the best of my recollection. [thanks for the link to the smilie art. Color me. . .impressed] ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/36 "2004-06-01T15:45:10Z")
Bravo, **Brutus**! * * * Can somebody please explain this one to me: :dubious: How is this supposed to represent anything? If the coding for it didn’t say “dubious” then I would have no clue. It looks to me like a pirate. A pale pirate. Taking a shit. “Arggh, ye matey’s! I’m feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe after I drop this deuce the scurvy will not be makin’ me feel so damn foul.” :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/37 "2004-06-01T15:51:11Z")
:dubious: is pretty dubious. If I get a look like that on my face it because of something like I’m at the grocery store and I hear a guy say, “I haven’t felt like this since the last time I shoved a sewing needle through my scrotum.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/38 "2004-06-01T16:25:46Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > By the way, have you noticed what happens to the happy Jewish guy ;j when you roll the cursor over him? [singing in high childish whine] “It’s a small world after all…” That’s pretty damned odd. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/39 "2004-06-02T04:20:23Z")
Whenever I see ☹ , I weep. I just wanna give the little guy a hug. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560/40 "2004-06-02T13:43:21Z")
**Happy Lendervedder** , Me too. He’s blue, _heh_ not frowning. ☹ “there, there” _:: pat pat pat::_ And I have to agree with **Trunk** on this one: :rolleyes: He’s looking at what I wrote. Stop that. It’s embarrassing enough as it is. 😛 = happy looking frog. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-smilies-here-fuckin-suck/247560.md?page=1)