# The South is Like My Mama and you sir are an ass. Can y'all pass that horseradish? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 24, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383 "2005-08-24T03:28:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meaty_Beaty_Big_and_Bouncy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/121 "2005-08-25T20:29:26Z")
_Link_, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/122 "2005-08-25T20:31:04Z")
> [@Hentor the Barbarian](#): > > We love us some mullets up here in Pittsburgh. Well, some of us do, anyway. > > As much as I might like to forget, I had a mullet in the 80’s. And a Camaro. I was living in St. Louis at the time, so I don’t know if I can blame the era, the region, or if I’ve got nothing to blame but myself. Ok ok, now I have a totally random mullet story: A few months back, I went to the King Tut exhibit at the LA Museum of Art. While waiting in line outside, my friend began elbowing me. Then she pointed. There was an entire family of mullety-goodness. Dad had a shoulder length, medium brown, good ol’ boy mullet (really, really short on top, all one length on the bottom). Mom had a she-mullet: feathered all over the front in small layers, while being long and straight in the back. But then, the most glorious part: two little boys, one with black hair and one with blonde. These boys couldn’t be older than 8, but had full-on, feathered, Joe Dirt Style mullets. In the back, their hair went down to their butts :eek: . \*\* \*\*You know it is an amazing mullet if it impresses someone from Bakersfield. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/123 "2005-08-25T20:46:27Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I think it’s a matter of context and as near as I can tell, “Well bless your heart,” has three meanings. A person of reasonable intelligence should be able to tell whether it means, “I sympathize with your plight,” “Apologize or my second will be speaking with yours,” or "Just how dumb are you?"and if he can’t, well, bless his heart. In Canada, in the second person, it means “Why, thank you very much, how awfully kind of you.” It’s one of my favourite expressions, but apparently I’ll have to forgo it if I ever go south. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/124 "2005-08-25T23:25:06Z")
I also apologize if this is a hijack. Do not misunderstand me. There is a lot that is great about the South. Here’s several cites for statistics by state. The higher rate of murder and violent crime in the south is fairly well known. [http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/region.htm](http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/region.htm) [http://www.doc.state.ok.us/MAPS/incrimUS.htm](http://www.doc.state.ok.us/MAPS/incrimUS.htm) [http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius\_03/xl/03tbl05.xls](http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius_03/xl/03tbl05.xls) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/125 "2005-08-25T23:45:14Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Ok ok, now I have a totally random mullet story: > > A few months back, I went to the King Tut exhibit at the LA Museum of Art. While waiting in line outside, my friend began elbowing me. Then she pointed. There was an entire family of mullety-goodness. > > Dad had a shoulder length, medium brown, good ol’ boy mullet (really, really short on top, all one length on the bottom). Mom had a she-mullet: feathered all over the front in small layers, while being long and straight in the back. But then, the most glorious part: two little boys, one with black hair and one with blonde. These boys couldn’t be older than 8, but had full-on, feathered, Joe Dirt Style mullets. In the back, their hair went down to their butts :eek: . \*\* > > \*\*You know it is an amazing mullet if it impresses someone from Bakersfield. Damn, I’ve seen that family! They were at the Steinhardt Aquarium! And the kids were the two most well-behaved kids in the entire fuckin’ place, was the best part. The parents were watching them like hawks and made sure they didn’t climb on exhibits, run around shrieking, or press their faces up against the glass. This was in direct contrast to the hideous yuppie-spawn that made up the rest of the kids at the museum, incidentall, whose well-tailored and fashionably-coiffed parents mostly stood around talking on cell phones while their brats ran wild. Those are some well-cultured rednecks, right there. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/126 "2005-08-25T23:58:44Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > - Snip - > > If you say so. Course, Randy Newman didn’t do much to help out rednecks, either. I think rednecks, hillybillys, peckerwoods and white trash are all pretty similar. Where there’s an ocean of distinction are between rednecks and Southern good ole boys. You realize that his denigration of rednecks was _ironic_, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/127 "2005-08-26T00:42:45Z")
> [@Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy](#): > > I’m using voice recognition software are really didn’t mean to make my email address into a lank. Huh. What software, how much did it cost, do you like it? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/128 "2005-08-26T00:58:10Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Huh. What software, how much did it cost, do you like it? I have to say, a one-line post with two incorrectly-translated words isn’t a strong recommendation for the software :). There’s definitely a lot of poverty in the South. It’s the region of the country that has moved from agrarian to industrial economy most recently; it’s only had major mercantile centers fairly recently (Charlotte and Atlanta are big); and there’s strong prejudice in the rest of the country and world against Southerners both black and white. We got us some hurdles to overcome. Add to that a religious climate unconducive to education, some serious problems with racism, and the lingering devastating effects of slavery (and, to a much lesser extent, Reconstruction) on our population, and you’ve got an area with plenty of poor folk. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/129 "2005-08-26T01:26:37Z")
**Sampiro,** if you’re not going to post your stories, please put me on the email list! m.a.m at [earthlink.net](http://earthlink.net) Thanks! I’m waiting impatiently for your book to be published. Just sitting here, tapping my foot, wondering when the book deal’s going to come through. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/130 "2005-08-26T02:40:42Z")
**Hentor** , you might want to compare the crime rates with the personal income rates for 2004 [by state](http://www.bea.doc.gov/bea/newsrel/SPINewsRelease.htm). The only Southern state that ranks in the top ten is Virginia. The only non-Eastern state is Colorado. 1. Connecticut 2. Massachusetts 3. New Jersey 4. Maryland 5. New York 6. New Hampshire 7. Colorado 8. Delaware and Minnesota (tied) 9. Virginia (BTW, Vermont – my nomination for most charming state – came in at #19) Compare that to how the Southeastern states ranked: 1. Georgia 2. Tennessee 3. North Carolina 4. Alabama 5. Kentucky 6. Louisiana 7. South Carolina 48 West Virginia 8. Arkansas 9. Mississippi I deliberately left Florida out of the list because culturally, it is a divided state. The northern part of Florida is very Southern culturally. The southern part of the state is not. But just for the record, it ranks considerably better in per capita income than other Southeastern states. That might have to do with the large number of non-Southerners who retire there. Just a guess. I know that other states have all of the things that I mentioned in my list of what I value as “Southern.” But they don’t have quite the same combination or setting – and certainly not the same slant on history, poverty, and literary tradition. I’m not saying this is better, just _different_. **koeeoaddi** , I surely hope you like football! Now would be a good time to begin watching as many UGA games as you get a chance to. Also, read everything that Lewis Grizzard ever wrote. (Some of it is much better than others.) Be willing to try some of our traditional foods even if you just eat a little bit of it. (My daughter-in-law has refused to even taste grits or backeyed peas because she considers them inferior foods. And she won’t eat casseroles because she doesn’t like foods mixed together.) Just be open to us, good-natured and willing to take teasing. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/131 "2005-08-26T03:04:33Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > In _To Kill a Mockingbird_, the Ewell family was whitetrash. The family (I can’t remember the surname) who paid Atticus in nuts and whose little boy covered his roast beef with syrup, while not a lot richer if any than the Ewells, was redneck. The Cunninghams. The little boy’s name was Walter. You can find white trash anywhere. We had some living next door until they defaulted on their mortgage. ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/132 "2005-08-26T12:24:47Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > The only Southern state that ranks in the top ten is Virginia. The only non-Eastern state is Colorado. > > 1. Connecticut > 2. Massachusetts > 3. New Jersey > 4. Maryland > 5. New York > 6. New Hampshire > 7. Colorado > 8. Delaware and Minnesota (tied) > 9. Virginia I did not realize they had thrown Maryland out of the South. Do I have to give up my accent? ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/133 "2005-08-26T14:33:33Z")
As I said, I am perfectly willing to accept as a reasonable hypothesis that greater rates of homicide and violent crime are found in the South because they are also poorer. I would also have predicted that Vermont would have been in the bottom half, but clearly they are doing better than I thought. All we need to do now is find someone who has subjected the data to a reasonable statistical comparison. I find it hard to believe that this hasn’t been done, but a little googling didn’t turn anything up in short order. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/134 "2005-08-26T14:47:52Z")
> [@brownie55](#): > > I did not realize they had thrown Maryland out of the South. Do I have to give up my accent? It’s a border state like Missouri and Kentucky. General rule of thumb is that if a state had slaves in 1861 and fielded Confederate regiments, it’s considered southern. (Maryland fielded both Union and Confederate units so it could go either way, but was also the birthplace of John Wilkes Booth and other key figures in Confederate history.) ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/135 "2005-08-26T15:30:17Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > IGeneral rule of thumb is that if a state had slaves in 1861 and fielded Confederate regiments, it’s considered southern. (Maryland fielded both Union and Confederate units so it could go either way, but was also the birthplace of John Wilkes Booth and other key figures in Confederate history.) Wait a sec, does that mean we have to accept New Jersey, too? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/136 "2005-08-26T16:13:04Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > It’s common for a certain type of American, traveling or living abroad, to relentlessly badmouth the foreign country they find themselves in. “Britain’s awful. Holland’s terrible. Italy’s a Third World country. One thing these Canadians can’t do is make a decent steak.” > > What they’re really saying is, “I’m scared. I’m a fish out of water, and I don’t really know how things work around here. You all don’t speak the same kind of English, and your unwritten language is indecipherable. I’m socially isolated. I don’t have a real network. I don’t have any real friends.” That’s what they _mean_ to say, if they could even admit it. But what others hear is, “I’m provincial as all hell, and whatever the deal is with your place, I _know_ mine’s better, so don’t confuse me with facts.” Case in point: I just got off a plane at Newark after 10 days in Vancouver. Beside me at Baggage Claim was a middle-aged blue-collar Dennis Franz kinda guy, neat-as-a-pin clothes, brush moustache, gruff expression, strong NY/NJ accent, complaining about what things cost in Vancouver. His example? _Coors!_ An American-made beer. One cost him $6. (Presumably out of a hotel minibar.) In a region that produces any number of local beers that run rings around Coors in quality and cost much less, even in a bar or restaurant. Not to mention the Can/US exchange rate, another thing the guy probably could care less about even though it’s working in his favor. I also doubt he was any too impressed by the scruffy freakazoid types one sees in Vancouver, or the general cleanliness and scenic beauty of the place, or the noticeable lack of public tension. Not exactly his glass of Coors, probably. But back to the South. > [@Sampiro](#): > > The violence, the multiculturalism, the isolation, the heat- everything combines to create some pretty impressive fusions. Yeah. Not only that, but as a Midwest product myself who’s spent some time in the South, I can testify that the arts and letters _matter more_ in the everyday life of the South. Certainly more than in the Midwest or West. Maybe that’s got to do with being told you’re backward and trying harder to be cultured because of it. Maybe with ethnic strains like the Celtic and African, where music and storytelling are a part of everyday life. Maybe just with a more relaxed outlook, where not everything is devoted to material gain and “success.” As for not wanting to eat the food: you _can’t_ possibly mean barbecue, can you? ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/137 "2005-08-26T16:37:55Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Wait a sec, does that mean we have to accept New Jersey, too? They didn’t have to suspend _habeus corpus_ and round up the state legislature to keep New Jersey from suceeding did they? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/138 "2005-08-26T18:07:02Z")
No, but they fired grapeshot down 7th avenue in Manhattan to stop the draft riots. I’m not making that up at all. ---
**Author:** ![Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Meaty\_Beaty\_Big\_and\_Bouncy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meaty_Beaty_Big_and_Bouncy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/139 "2005-08-26T18:36:42Z")
[hijack] > [@Askia](#): > > Huh. What software, how much did it cost, do you like it? [I got it CompuServe for about USD100.](http://store.yahoo.com/sayican/natpref.html) > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I have to say, a one-line post with two incorrectly-translated words isn’t a strong recommendation for the software . I’m still getting used to it. It works better the longer sentences you make, speaking evenly and clearly. The more you use it, than the better it understand your voice, the less mistakes it makes. Right now I have to say it takes about as much time to correct my spelling & and taking out extraneous words than typing a post with one hand (one finger, acually), which was what I was doing before. It also does not help in real life I have a bit of a stutter and can’t enunciate very well, and tend to take long pauses while I’m searching for the next word. It’s either that or go back to lurking. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383/140 "2005-08-26T18:49:43Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Wait a sec, does that mean we have to accept New Jersey, too? Did NJ field Confederate regiments? Now _that’s_ something interesting I didn’t know. (I’ve course I’m having images of Confederate officers Jason Alexander (“Just remember, the right to secede is not a lie if you believe it!”) and Jack Nicholson (“You can’t handle the South!”) jamming to Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the CSA”.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-south-is-like-my-mama-and-you-sir-are-an-ass-can-yall-pass-that-horseradish/318383.md?page=8)