# The Star Trek joke about "I'm a doctor, not a..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 12, 2017, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978 "2017-03-12T03:35:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/21 "2017-03-13T18:06:32Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Another great Picardo use of the meme is in Star Trek: First Contact. Doctor Crusher activates the Enterprise’s EMH and orders it to delay the Borg while they evacuate Sick Bay. > > “I’m a doctor, not a doorstop.” > > He ends up delaying the Borg by offering them medical advice. Some facial cream or salve for those implants, IIRC. Love that 30 seconds! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/22 "2017-03-13T18:28:32Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > In ST-II:TWoK, McCoy says, “Damn it, Jim! What the hell’s the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?” > > Early 80s vintage film. Lots of TOS still on TV at that time. Probably all the McCoyisms get lumped together in people’s memories. > > Now, in a certain …not unfamous… episode from TOS season 1, Kirk has the last line of the ep and says, “Let’s get the hell out of here.” > . > ETA: Zephram got there first, I see. > > . It’s _Zefram_. Spell it correctly, please. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/23 "2017-03-13T19:16:10Z")
Entity Lover!!! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/24 "2017-03-13T19:17:22Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Entity Lover!!! :mad: 😉 :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/25 "2017-03-13T19:28:54Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > In ST-II:TWoK, McCoy says, “Damn it, Jim! What the hell’s the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?” > > Early 80s vintage film. Lots of TOS still on TV at that time. Probably all the McCoyisms get lumped together in people’s memories. > > Now, in a certain …not unfamous… episode from TOS season 1, Kirk has the last line of the ep and says, “Let’s get the hell out of here.” > . > ETA: Zephram got there first, I see. > > . Well, he had warp drive before you. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/26 "2017-03-13T19:48:45Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > In ST-II:TWoK, McCoy says, “Damn it, Jim! What the hell’s the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?” > > Early 80s vintage film. Lots of TOS still on TV at that time. Probably all the McCoyisms get lumped together in people’s memories. > > Now, in a certain …not unfamous… episode from TOS season 1, Kirk has the last line of the ep and says, “Let’s get the hell out of here.” > . > ETA: Zephram got there first, I see. > > . Let’s not forget, McCoy got to utter the first SOB in the Trek-verse: _The Search for Spock:_ **Kirk:** You’re suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, Doctor. **McCoy:** That green-blood son-of-a-bitch. This is his revenge for all those arguments he lost! ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2017, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/27 "2017-03-13T22:57:26Z")
Star Trek II is a fun Trek installment when discussing things like what you can and can’t get away with in movies. It was made a couple of years before the PG-13 MPAA rating was rolled out, and at the time, PG was everything right up to the threshold of an R rating, which for Trek meant human carcasses hanging from the ceiling, people screaming and engulfed in flames, one guy screaming as he is not-quite-quickly vaporized, parasites climbing into peoples’ ears, and Moby Dick references. Pretty sure you still couldn’t show a woman topless though, not that you’d expect that in a Star Trek production anyways. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/28 "2017-03-14T00:40:24Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > [I’m a doctor, not a scriptwriter!](https://youtu.be/ioH0POPyeEQ?t=127) Well, say “Bye-bye” to Starfleet Command for me and I’ll see you on “Hollywood Squares.” ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/29 "2017-03-14T01:38:27Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Well, say “Bye-bye” to Starfleet Command for me and I’ll see you on “Hollywood Squares.” “Spock to Enterprise… \*one \*to beam up.” ---
**Author:** ![Miles\_Standoffish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/54ee81/32.png) [@Miles\_Standoffish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miles_Standoffish)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/30 "2017-03-14T02:27:17Z")
I’m having a really hard time understanding why this question is important. You might say I can’t see DeForest for de trees. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/31 "2017-03-14T04:05:06Z")
I still can’t get over the similarity between DeForest Kelley’s name and the ST:TOS researcher Kellam de Forest. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/32 "2017-03-14T09:36:20Z")
In the wake of one of the movies being released, Letterman read a list of the Top Ten lines heard around the set. One of these was, IIRC, “Damn it Jim, I’m a doctor, not a very good actor!” ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/33 "2017-03-14T12:13:20Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Star Trek II is a fun Trek installment when discussing things like what you can and can’t get away with in movies. It was made a couple of years before the PG-13 MPAA rating was rolled out, and at the time, PG was everything right up to the threshold of an R rating, which for Trek meant human carcasses hanging from the ceiling, people screaming and engulfed in flames, one guy screaming as he is not-quite-quickly vaporized, parasites climbing into peoples’ ears, and Moby Dick references. > > Pretty sure you still couldn’t show a woman topless though, not that you’d expect that in a Star Trek production anyways. Some PG films had topless scenes. \*Airplane! \*and \*Sheena \*come to mind quickly. I’m sure there were far more examples. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/34 "2017-03-14T16:56:00Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > “Spock to Enterprise… \*one \*to beam up.” “What’s not there, Mr. Snott?” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/35 "2017-03-15T11:15:01Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > And let’s not forget “He’s dead, Jim”. (“Just like the others” optional.) Mission Impossible re-run, circa 1970: Phelps and crew at a sidewalk cafe somewhere. Suddenly, a drive-by shooting. Bang Bang! Somebody laying on ground in pool of blood. Paris (played by Leonard Nimoy) kneels over victim, checks his pulse. Meanwhile, Phelps stands by, arms folded, scowling. Paris looks up at Phelps. “He’s dead, Jim.” Audience in Berkeley college dorm TV room ROTFL. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/36 "2017-03-15T16:09:06Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Star Trek II is a fun Trek installment when discussing things like what you can and can’t get away with in movies. It was made a couple of years before the PG-13 MPAA rating was rolled out, and at the time, PG was everything right up to the threshold of an R rating, which for Trek meant human carcasses hanging from the ceiling, people screaming and engulfed in flames, one guy screaming as he is not-quite-quickly vaporized, parasites climbing into peoples’ ears, and Moby Dick references. > > Pretty sure you still couldn’t show a woman topless though, not that you’d expect that in a Star Trek production anyways. Clash of the Titans had a topless Danae breastfeeding baby Perseus. No, I wouldn’t watch like a hawk every time it came on HBO to catch a peep of boobies when I was twelve. Why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/37 "2017-03-15T16:49:18Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I believe that _City on the Edge of Forever_ was the first episode that used “hell” in a non-literal manner. > > Kirk: Let’s get the hell out of here. I remember that because it was such a surprise. Just a few months before on _Mission Impossible_ the script worked around using the word by having the villain of the week pause, as he’s being led away, before Cinnamon Carter (who’d posed as a love interest in the Intricate Plan) and mutter, “What is it that hath no fury like a woman scorned?” ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/38 "2017-03-15T17:20:22Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > I still can’t get over the similarity between DeForest Kelley’s name and the ST:TOS researcher Kellam de Forest. Well, his first name was Jackson, if that helps. We coulda called him Jax. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2017, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978/39 "2017-03-15T22:57:53Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Well, his first name was Jackson, if that helps. We coulda called him Jax. But, but, I live near Jax (FL). Oh, now I’m totally confused. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-star-trek-joke-about-im-a-doctor-not-a/781978.md?page=1)