# The stool incident **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054 "2003-04-11T15:44:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cyrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Cyrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyrin)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/1 "2003-04-11T15:44:37Z")
In reading [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=176177) thread, I was reminded of the stupidest thing I ever stole _or_ “The Stool Incident” as it will forever be called by all who bared witness! Place: Small Bar in Downtown Toronto, which will remain “The Clintons” 😉 Item: A 3 1/2 ft. tall Bar Stool (It was broken… sort of) How: Well, you may recall from earlier in this post that the stool was “sort of” broken, don’t bother scrolling all the way back up there, just trust me, I said it. Anyways, the brokenness was more than likely just a stupid thing people do sometimes. That is, removing the screws from things which are not fastened down very well. It happened, by chance, that this particular bar stool had had all of the screws removed from the cushion such that when you sat on it you quite quickly slipped off! Upset that such a cruel trick had been played on me, I immediately set it back up so that one of my friends could fall on his ass too! (I’m a good friend, what can I say?) Anyways, I’m a little off topic… oh yes, later on, after much alcohol consumption we decided to take the cushion home with us. No reason, it was just fun to try and conceal it in my jacket. The cushion is a little over a foot in diameter. As you might imagine, it wasn’t such a clever plan. My “concealment” merely made it appear that I had a man hole cover under my coat. Well, we all laughed and thought “no way that is just stupid and obvious, well never make it out” _dramatic pause_ “Hey, let’s take the whole stool!” :rolleyes: We would need a distraction however and I wasn’t the type to create such public disturbances. My friend, who will remain “Paul” (Names un-changed to convict the guilty) said he had an idea, and that he would handle it. Great, I love when a plan comes together! So we moved the stool near the door and I sat on it. Paul then walked up to a nearby waitress and, quite obviously, grabbed her bum… Wait for it… Right in front of the door bouncer! :eek: This, as you might imagine was followed by the 350lb. bouncer leaving his post to manhandle my friend! Shocked as I was, I was able to gain my composure and make for the, now unguarded, doorway! Home free! I was soon running down the street towards my friends van, stool in hand! (Hmmm, that doesn’t sound quite right…) I will admit that Paul, and not I, took the greater risk in our plan, however _I_ got to keep the stool, and he got some nice bruising as a keepsake instead! I got the stool home and realized that without a bar, the stool is quite useless! (It’s none to comfortable to be perched on high like that with nothing to lean on!) As I did not have a bar, and felt that my criminal genius was not great enough to walk off with the whole bar at the Clintons, I took a hacksaw and shortened the legs! Consequence: I have a nice [bar stool](http://members.rogers.com/cyrin7/stool.jpg) in my room for when guests come over and I don’t want to give up my nice cushy chair! (Sorry about the quality of the above picture, when I remembered having this photo, I honestly thought you could make out the bar stool better!) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/2 "2003-04-11T19:57:42Z")
Nice setup! Love the lighted case, I have one myself. Oh, yea, erm, stool and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Cyrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Cyrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyrin)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/3 "2003-04-11T20:44:57Z")
Thanks **GMRyujin**! [Here](http://members.rogers.com/cyrin7) is my site which has a number of pics of my case and computer accessories etc. Check it out! There may even be some other stool shots in there… you never know! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/4 "2003-04-11T20:55:34Z")
Am I the only one who thought this thread was going to be about poop? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/5 "2003-04-11T21:16:34Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/6 "2003-04-11T21:34:20Z")
See, this forum is really corrupting me! I thought this was going to be about poop also. I know, it’s sick, but true. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/7 "2003-04-11T21:50:26Z")
I saw that it wasn’t posted by **lieu** , so I figured it was safe. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/8 "2003-04-11T22:57:24Z")
Dude, what do you have three monitors for? Nice story, although obviously stealing a bar stool (and I, too, am glad you didn’t steal any turds) isn’t quite right, but there we go. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/9 "2003-04-12T00:33:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **(and I, too, am glad you didn’t steal any turds)** But see, then we can’t call him a Turd Burglar. Sorry, I just wanted to say that, 'cause it’s funny. And I need funny right now. :: runs away, chanting “turd burglar, turd burglar” and laughing maniacally :: ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/10 "2003-04-12T03:14:41Z")
I like the colour of your room! Very nice set up, and great story too 🙂 The only thing Ive ever stolen from a bar was a candle and a spoon. Not quite as exciting 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/11 "2003-04-12T06:11:36Z")
Poop. (What? Everyone else was saying it) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/12 "2003-04-12T06:13:01Z")
And your case is much more involved than mine. Mine just has the acrylic window and a lighted fan that makes my rig’s guts appear rave-like. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/13 "2003-04-12T13:26:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **Dude, what do you have three monitors for?** I asked Çyrin the same thing once. He then ‘forced’ me to buy and ATI 8500 that had dual monitor capablilities. (I have 3 now if you include the TV that is connected.) Trust me Coldy…having more that one comes in VERY handy for IRC, IM’s…pr0n. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/14 "2003-04-12T13:28:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*And your case is much more involved than mine. Mine just has the acrylic window and a lighted fan that makes my rig’s guts appear rave-like. \*\* - Pictures the “Strongbad Techo Song” playing as the fan spins.\* 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cyrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Cyrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyrin)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/15 "2003-04-12T18:04:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kwyjibo \* > \*\*I asked Çyrin the same thing once. He then ‘forced’ me to buy and ATI 8500 that had dual monitor capablilities. (I have 3 now if you include the TV that is connected.) > > Trust me Coldy…having more that one comes in VERY handy for IRC, IM’s…pr0n. > > 😃 \*\* In my defence, I ‘forced’ nothing! I was able to tempt through the use of what I call ‘subtle bragging’, and **Kwyjibo** fell prey to my hypnotic story telling, broke down and bought the card himself… I won’t say I had ‘nothing’ to do with it… but ‘forced’ is such a hash term… You know all of you want to have as much desktop space as you can. It is superior, you can watch DVD’s on one screen, dope on another, IM, IRC and e-mail on the third… the possibilities are endless! Muhahahaha Now I’ve got you all! ---
**Author:** ![foostav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@foostav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foostav)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/16 "2003-04-12T18:12:38Z")
Three monitors, neon casemod, stolen stool… Compensating for something are we? ---
**Author:** ![Cyrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Cyrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyrin)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stool-incident/168054/17 "2003-04-12T18:21:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by foostav_ > \*\*Three monitors, neon casemod, stolen stool… > > Compensating for something are we?\*\* Maybe… :rolleyes: but not for what you’re insinuating… 😃 possibly for my misspent youth… you know, by misspending my 20’s as well…