and said, “You mean, to the bank, right? 'Cause I don’t know any band that’s gonna give me change. Besides, I kind of like it. It’s got character, and it’s obviously been around for awhile. I think I’ll hang onto it for now.” With a farewell smile to Jo, she picked the bill back up and walked out. She enjoyed the lights of downtown for half an hour or so before pulling out her cell and calling her friend Suzie, who picked up on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Suzie. This is Linda.”
“Oh, hi, Linda. What’s going on?”
“I just talked to Jo at that other coffee place–she said the funniest thing about this old $20 bill I have.”
“What was it?”
“Oh, the bill is really worn and she suggested I take it to the band to retire it.”
“Yeah,” Suzie says, snickering. “She meant bank, didn’t she?”
“Yeah. Listen, I wanted to show you what I got on my iPod yesterday…”
“Sure, let’s meet at your place again.”
They said goodbye and rang off. On the way, however, Linda happened to meet none other than George Sharp, the same underhanded sneak who had the bill himself earlier. He didn’t know Linda had it, but he considered her an easy mark for anything he wanted to con her out of. Linda, for her part, knew George only too well and barely tolerated him. She came face to face with him as they were waiting out a DONT WALK signal on a busy strreet corner.
George asked Linda if she had a twenty to spare. Linda, remembering that George never ever never ever repays a “loan” said no and walked away. Unfortunately, the “Don’t Walk” sign hadn’t changed and she was hit by a Volkswagen minivan driven by sixteen year old Dontonio Facezits. Linda’s purse went flying in the direction of George, who picked it up and took the wallet. Dontonio saw George take the wallet but was to shaken up over hitting Linda to say anything. Fortunately Linda was not hurt and refused to be taken to the hospital to get checked out and told Dontonio not to worry about it. Dontonio then told her about a man he saw take her wallet out of her purse when it went flying in his direction. From the direction Dontonio pointed she knew it was George and knew him well enough that she knew George would head on over to the Golden Slipper Strip Club with any money he found. Sure enough he was there. Linda, who was furious, kicked George in the crotch and demanded her wallet and cash. Of course, the other patrons in the Golden Stripper thought it was part of the entertainment so nobody helped Sharp out. Linda got her wallet and money back, harumphed at George, kicked him again for good measure and went on home to meet up with Suzie. Thus 77R remained with Linda until…
…she realized she had to get home and had no change for the bus. So she went to a nearby newsstand and bought a copy of Games Magazine, and paid for it with 77R. She didn’t mind losing the bill; she knew the newsdealer, Giuseppe Sorrento, and could usually get a bill or coin back as long as she made up for it.
So she went home with the magazine after a brief chat with Signore Sorrento. The next day, having read an article about wheresgeorge on a web page and printed it out, Linda returned to Sorrento’s newsstand and asked him about the twenty she’d given him the evening before. He said:
“Hmmmm…you’re lucky…I still have it. But I need change.”
Linda gave him two tens and kept the bill. She noticed, however, that it was quite worn and went to a local bank. She knew the teller, Alfred Munch, and showed it to him.
Munch shrugged. “Ordinarily, we’d just swap this for a new bill; it’s pretty raggedy, don’t you think? The Fed shreds worn-out paper currency by the bushel. But you can keep it if you want to. What’s your pleasure, Linda?”
“Hmmmm…now that you ask, I think I will keep it for a little while.”
She returned the bill to her wallet and went online that evening. She showed her cousin the history of 77R. “Wait a minute,” said the cousin, named Joan. “I think I know some of those people!”
Penguins!! how the hell do you guys sleep at nights.
Carry on, this is bloody hilarious and worthy of print by.. erm… Penguin?
Joan continued, “Including this one person, George Sharp!”
“You mean that kid in the mansion? The one with all those brothers and sisters? That underhanded sneak? You know him? How?”
Joan reminisced:
“I used to be his math tutor,” she said, frowning. “Jeez, he was terrible. Had some weird kind of dyslexia and always got his 9s and his 6s mixed up. I tried and tried, but I don’t think he passed a math test the entire time I knew him. That was, what, five years ago, I guess. I never thought he was particularly sneaky or underhanded, though. At least he never stole from me…” Joan’s eyes narrowed and she cracked her knuckles.
(chowder, glad you liked the penguins bit. That was about the freakiest thing I could think of after having too little sleep the night before.)
,but I can’t say the same for other people in the school offices when he was there."
“Can you give me some examples?” Linda asked, all the while scanning 77R’s wheresgeorge history. “Did he try to steal from other people there?”
“Well–yes. There was one woman there with a huge red purse…”
…“Jeanette something. Big tall woman. Spoke in a deep voice. I think she was arranging with the school to play a gig there–with her band.”
“So what did George take from her?”
“Well, he* tried *to take something. She saw him sneaking a hand into her purse–it apparently looked to her that he was after the part she kept her cosmetics in. She grabbed his wrist with the grip of an ironmonger–and then she stood up. Scared the hell out of him!”
*“Then *what happened?”
“She just told him to get the hell away from her property! Then she gave him a shove. Almost pushed him down. He shrugged and left.”
Now Linda shrugged. She exited from the wheresgeorge site after taking notes. Then she said goodby to her friend and went to the bank, needing some quarters for her laundry. She handed 77R to the teller and got two rolls of quarters in exchange.
As for 77R…