# The story of the phone who loved other phones **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 12, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943 "2003-10-12T02:05:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/1 "2003-10-12T02:05:57Z")
Returning from school one day last week, I was sitting on the bus, minding my own business, when a few kids from a local high school got on. This high school ( **matt\_mcl** ’s old school, actually) is all-boys and NOT known for progressive thinking. The kids looked to be about in grade 8 or 9. One whipped out a fancy looking, sleek, silver cellphone. He opened it up, and it made noise. He pressed a button. It made more noise. He expressed his frustration that he could not get the phone to do what he wanted it to. His friend looked over, the phone made the noise again. Finally, the boy closed the phone in disgust, and handed it to a guy a little further forward in the bus. He exclaimed: “Man, you have a **LESBIAN** phone!” Now. I have heard all the excuses about calling things “gay”. But it really has nothing to do with homosexuality, people say. It is just slang for bad! Well, if “lesbian” has nothing to do with homosexuality, paint me red and call me an apple. I was just floored! I have gotten some good explanations (apologies to the people who’s jokes I’m stealing) - maybe it’s a new option on cell phones, you can set the ring tones, set the volume, set the sexual orientation. Maybe it was stuck on the vibrate setting. But I think they were just homophobic shitheads. All joking aside - what the hell? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/2 "2003-10-12T02:19:08Z")
Lesbian phone? Never heard that one. Course I AM getting old, so I’m not up on this newfanged slang… ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/3 "2003-10-12T02:20:37Z")
I’m gonna start a band called “Lesbian Phones” someday. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/4 "2003-10-12T02:29:17Z")
Some of my peers, both those at my university and those who attended my (private, college prep, theoretically attended by Young People Of Character) high school feel that the term “gay” is inappropriate when used in a pejorative sense. So they replace it with “homosexual”. I’m still working on my plans for living in a cave forever to escape humanity, but they’re coming along nicely. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/5 "2003-10-12T04:27:48Z")
Keep in mind that it’s an all-boy school. ‘Lesbian’ is pejorative because they can’t get any sex from a lesbian. They don’t use ‘gay’ anymore since they’ve all had a turn in getting each other off. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/6 "2003-10-12T05:32:00Z")
Since when is “gay” merely “slang for bad”? I’m straight, and I still find it offensive. You’d be drawing a ridiculously long bow to say it has no homophobic edge to it. “You have a lesbian phone” would also be offensive, were it not so stupid. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/7 "2003-10-12T06:03:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by moriah \* > \*\*Keep in mind that it’s an all-boy school. ‘Lesbian’ is pejorative because they can’t get any sex from a lesbian. They don’t use ‘gay’ anymore since they’ve all had a turn in getting each other off. \*\* What the hell? **LaurAnge** , that story is the oddest thing I’ve heard in a while. ---
**Author:** ![crispety](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@crispety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crispety)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/8 "2003-10-12T06:08:11Z")
I imagine it’s the same thing with calling certain things “special,” or the lesser PC term, “retarded.” Some people just lack the creativity to come up with a better adjective. Or maybe they’re all idiots. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/9 "2003-10-12T06:56:57Z")
Here is a [lesbian cell phone](http://www.gaymart.com/shoptag/2item/i007477.html). ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/10 "2003-10-12T13:26:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheLoadedDog \* > \*\*Since when is “gay” merely “slang for bad”? I’m straight, and I still find it offensive. You’d be drawing a ridiculously long bow to say it has no homophobic edge to it. \*\* Well, obviously. I certainly think that. I was making the argument I disagree with. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/11 "2003-10-12T15:52:59Z")
I was gonna open a thread with this story, but it seems appropriate here so here goes. I was on the phone with a customer Friday and she said that I answered the phone faster than she was used to when calling my company. “Usually I have to wait and listen to that gay hold music.” Me: “I will need to ask you not to use that word in a derogatory fashion.” Her: “Oh, I’m sorry.” (the light dawns) “_OH!_ I’m _sorry_!” So, every once in a great while, they actually get it. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/12 "2003-10-12T19:15:33Z")
Don’t mock homosexual cell phones! If it weren’t for them, we’d be knee-deep in cell phones, as the heterosexual ones reproduce like rabbits! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/13 "2003-10-12T19:16:47Z")
(Yes, the above’s a joke, for the humor-impared) ---
**Author:** ![Not\_In\_Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@Not\_In\_Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_In_Anger)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/14 "2003-10-13T00:39:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfbabe \* > \*\*Some of my peers, both those at my university and those who attended my (private, college prep, theoretically attended by Young People Of Character) high school feel that the term “gay” is inappropriate when used in a pejorative sense. > > So they replace it with “homosexual”. > > I’m still working on my plans for living in a cave forever to escape humanity, but they’re coming along nicely. \*\* 😃 . Can I come live in your cave with you? My disgust for the human race is starting to get a bit rounded at the edges. I need a fucking sabbatical studying under a Master to sharpen these edges. ---
**Author:** ![fushj00mang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fushj00mang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fushj00mang)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/15 "2003-10-13T06:15:35Z")
**Apple** , Good God. These kids aren’t meaning anything by it. Trust me, I’m an asshole, and frankly, you need to grow a skin. In my unit, we call anyone who’s on light duty “cripple” or “crip” and anyone who’s just pulled a really boneheaded stunt “retard.” If you’ve done something wimpy we call you “pussy” and (in my case last week, when I had to renew my qualification on the M-16, which the seventh round in my mag was a misfire) if something goes wrong with your equipment, it’s “gay.” None of these terms are directed in such a way as to offend those who are genuinely crippled, retarded, female, or homosexual. They’re slang terms used in a non-PC enviroment. The vast majority of modern slang is absolutely incomprehensable and rarely applies to the actual word used. Remember when something good was “bad,” or when you met an interesting person they were a “fly cat,” or if someone was your friend you called him or her “Beefaroni?” What the fuck did “Jive turkey” mean? Slang, as it is, makes no sense, and you’re applying conventional wisdom to an unconventional dialect of American english. Would you have been offended if they referred to this phone as “bitchin?” I mean, after all, it may be a complement to the phone, but it is derogatory to females, no? Pul-eeze! Give me a break. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/16 "2003-10-13T09:16:10Z")
What? Since when does “gay” mean bad? Originally it meant happy. Leave it to the homophobes to fuck up our language. Oh and **fushj00mang** , I suppose you’d go so far as to call a cell phone “bitchin” to its face. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/17 "2003-10-13T10:56:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*Here is a [lesbian cell phone](http://www.gaymart.com/shoptag/2item/i007477.html). \*\* \ ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/18 "2003-10-13T13:12:36Z")
**fushj00mang** , lemme get this straight. You’re saying that someone calling a bad phone a lebian phone has **nothing to do** with homophobia? My lord. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/19 "2003-10-13T13:25:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aryk29 \* > \*\*What? Since when does “gay” mean bad? Originally it meant happy. Leave it to the homophobes to fuck up our language. > > \*\* Since a while ago, as long as by “bad” you mean “lame” or “weak” or “unhip.” See _South Park_. And sure, it’s homophobic, because the speaker is saying that the object of his derision is a) bad and b) gay; therefore he is saying that being gay is a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/20 "2003-10-13T13:42:42Z")
Also, who is **Apple**? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943.md?page=2)