# The story of the phone who loved other phones **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 12, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943 "2003-10-12T02:05:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/21 "2003-10-13T14:25:26Z")
Don’t compare Apples to LaurAnges. _Ducks and Runs_ Seriously, those kids are idiots. Like you said that school is not full of progressive thinking. And to think they are the future of Canada, that is just scary. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/22 "2003-10-13T15:21:04Z")
Teenage boy says something idiotic !!! Is this a sign our society is crumbling?! Full investigation and analysis in the SDMB to follow! **Next Week’s Headline** Teenage girl betrays lack of acquaintance with 1980s events! Says something stupid! ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/23 "2003-10-13T15:25:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Futile Gesture \* > **Teenage boy says something idiotic !!! > Is this a sign our society is crumbling?! Full investigation and analysis in the SDMB to follow!** Why, you’re right! We shouldn’t pit people for doing or saying idiotic things, we should be pitting them for… uh… um… uh… remind me again? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/24 "2003-10-13T16:00:35Z")
I got a new laptop recently, and bought a crossover patch cable to hook it up to my old desktop so I could transfer my files over. It says right on the package that it is a “male/male” cable. I’ve secretly been calling it my “gay cable”. But not in a derogatory sense. I love my gay cable! It’s been very useful. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/25 "2003-10-13T16:16:43Z")
Guess you can’t get the “family plan,” at least not in most states. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/26 "2003-10-13T18:06:12Z")
Well it’s a new one on me, too. Odd. And **fushj00mang** , trust us - it’s offensive. :rolleyes: Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/27 "2003-10-13T18:48:42Z")
Could be the kid thought the term “gay” was overused, so being the hip contrarian he is, he turned it into “lesbian,” in the hopes that it would catch on. Or, somebody else thought of “lesbian” first, and it rubbed off on him. Briefly, I hung out with a guy who tried to get “I wish I had the \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ of an olympic level athelete” incorporated into the lexicon of catch phrases. Didn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/28 "2003-10-13T19:43:24Z")
Hmm, maybe the phone could only call other phones of the same model… Or maybe it only would accept incoming calls? Is it possible you misheard? ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/29 "2003-10-13T20:27:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fushj00mang \* > \*\ ***Apple** , > Good God. These kids aren’t meaning anything by it. \ > None of these terms are directed in such a way as to offend those who are genuinely crippled, retarded, female, or homosexual. \ \*\* Let me use small words, since you’re so military. For the benefit of your American mind, if derogatory slang isn’t actually derogatory, why don’t you call your mom a cunt to her face? You wouldn’t _mean_ anything by it, you love cunts! Derogatory slang is designed to insult two (yes two!) things at once, the actual source of the annoyance (the malfunctioning phone) by comparing it to something socially undesireable. (or with added sarcasm, something generally desireable but understood by your audiance to not be…“_special_”) Case in point, above, I used “military” and “american” as derogatory slurs. I didn’t mean anything by it, my last long term SO was a Marine, but he’d have my ass for using anything related to his beloved occupation or country as an object of ridicule/derision. If a vast majority of society used those as slurs, I would understand the annoyance of the groups in question. Even if its “just” slang, it is insulting, and you do mean something by it. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/30 "2003-10-13T20:44:49Z")
> [@](#): > > This high school (matt\_mcl’s old school, actually) is all-boys… > [@](#): > > Keep in mind that it’s an all-boy school. ‘Lesbian’ is pejorative because they can’t get any sex from a lesbian. They don’t use ‘gay’ anymore since they’ve all had a turn in getting each other off. Don’t I wish. ☹ _sigh_ Leave it to old Muggins to go to the only all boys’ school on the planet where they weren’t fucking. > [@](#): > > Me: “I will need to ask you not to use that word in a derogatory fashion.” > > Her: “Oh, I’m sorry.” (the light dawns) “OH! I’m sorry!” Reminds me of that time in drama class where this girl was posing us, and she apologized to this other fellow for giving him stage directions that were “kind of gay.” I said, “Oh, well, maybe I should do it.” ---
**Author:** ![fushj00mang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fushj00mang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fushj00mang)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/31 "2003-10-14T04:00:07Z")
LaurAnge, While I’m not totally sure (as I wasn’t there) I really doubt it. I’ve used the term ‘gay’ in refrence to equipment failures, silly actions, and my first sergeant (who is the most effiminate man I’ve ever met.) Doesn’t mean I’m homophobic. It means that in the lexicon of my vocabulary, ‘gay’ is synonomous to something being rediculously silly, improper, or effiminate. It doesn’t mean homosexual except when in direct refrence to homosexuals (eg, after my rifle jammed on me I exclaimed “Well that’s gay.” When I met up with my girlfriend and she brought along a homosexual buddy, I said “Oh, so you’re gay?” Different meanings.) Homophobia and terms thereof are more hatefully delivered such as “Goddamn gays,” “stupid queers,” “fucking homos” and the ilk. There is no question there. Hostility is rather obvious and those statements should be taken as offensive. On the other hand, “Well that’s gay” doesn’t mean squat except to me and those who use the term in a similar fashion. Medea’s Child, Actually, I have called my mother a cunt to her face, but not in a loving sense. But my past hatrid of my female parental unit is beside the point. You state that even if it is ‘just’ slang, it is insulting and does mean something. As opposed to what? Slang comes in two forms, both offensive and inoffensive, and those forms are defined by the perceptions of the person hearing them. If someone were to call me a ‘fag,’ then their head would be on my wall. Fag is a term and (asides from the Commonwealth use meaning a cigarette or a bundle of sticks) has no other meaning except homosexual. But, I’ve heard my own brother call his best friend a fag (specifically “Nardo, you’re such a fag”) with no ill will towards Renaldo or homosexuals (which neither he nor Nardo are.) It is offensive to me, but not to them. So why not look at intent here? Ray calling Nardo a fag was to indicate that his actions were different from the norm (much akin to how homosexuality is different from the norm.) Would it have been any better if my brother had said “Nardo, you’re such a joke?” No, because the meaning to them fell with the word ‘fag’ and no others. Joke would indicate something out of the norm, but ‘fag’ worked in that sense. Maybe its just me, but the english language, and specifically the American dialect, is the most rapidly growing, changing, and the most ambiguous language in the world. One word having a half-dozen different meanings is eventually going to cause friction between users of the term. So, why not grow a bit of a shell and realize if it’s directed at you with hate and scorn, why worry about it? ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/32 "2003-10-14T07:55:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Since a while ago, as long as by “bad” you mean “lame” or “weak” or “unhip.” See _South Park_. \*\* If I can remember correctly, Stan and friends are invited to comment on a local radio station’s lame Halloween decorations at a local broadcast setup and either Stan or Kyle says, **I once saw two men kissing in the park, but this has got to be the gayest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.** I’ve use that line a few times to tease gay friends who were being very… gay. But I change it to: "I once saw a video of seven men gang banging each other, but this has got to be the gayest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And speaking of South Park and gay, the season premier (this Wednesday or the next, can’t remember off hand) is all about gay chic taking over South Park. It should be a… hoot! Peace, happiness, and gossip. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/33 "2003-10-14T12:02:54Z")
Oh, they’ve said it much more often than that, **moriah**. Unless my memory’s really, really going… ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/34 "2003-10-14T13:08:04Z")
Wow. fushj00mang must be Humpty Dumpty. ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone,’ it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.’ ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/35 "2003-10-14T13:34:57Z")
My 6 year old came home from school recently and I asked him to set the table or do something for me in the kitchen. I don’t remember exactly what. He responded, “Mom, that is so gay.” I immediately stopped what I was doing and said, “Where in the world did you hear that?” He said at school and “don’t worry…it’s not a bad word…it just means something is stupid.” I took the opportunity to tell him that we don’t use the word “gay” in that manner and that if a person is gay it doesn’t mean they are stupid. I asked him if he got it and he said, “Yep…gay doesn’t mean stupid and I shouldn’t use the word that way.” I felt like I had made a small breakthrough with him as he walked out of the room but then he turned around and asked, “So, Mommy, what does gay mean anyway?” 🙂 So, yes, kids use the term to mean something is stupid and for anyone who doesn’t believe that I wonder if you have children. And to think that saying gay= something “ridiculously silly or improper” is not a good definition either. How can you not see that that is offensive? ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/36 "2003-10-14T14:23:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fushj00mang \* > . . . Doesn’t mean I’m homophobic. It means that in the lexicon of my vocabulary, ‘gay’ is synonomous to something being rediculously silly, improper, or effiminate. . . . Homophobia and terms thereof are more hatefully delivered such as “Goddamn gays,” “stupid queers,” “fucking homos” and the ilk. There is no question there. Hostility is rather obvious and those statements should be taken as offensive. On the other hand, “Well that’s gay” doesn’t mean squat except to me and those who use the term in a similar fashion. . . . > > . . . .If someone were to call me a ‘fag,’ then their head would be on my wall. Fag is a term and (asides from the Commonwealth use meaning a cigarette or a bundle of sticks) has no other meaning except homosexual. . . . It’s curious how you contradict yourself. First you indicate that you define ‘gay’ as “improper” (etc.) and then you say it has no other meaning except “homosexual”. First you state that homophobic terms need “hatefully delivered” qualifiers, yet you go on to say that someone only need call you ‘fag’ for “their head [to] be on [your] wall.” Which, incidentally, begs the question _why_ you would feel the need for violence if someone called you ‘gay’? If you are indeed not homophobic, then what is so negative about being thought of as gay that it would require such a reaction? Is it merely because the facts are mistaken? Then if someone called you an ‘Australian’ or ‘Canadian’ (presuming you’re not somehow both) how offensive to you would that be? > [@](#): > > Slang comes in two forms, both offensive and inoffensive, and those forms are defined by the perceptions of the person hearing them. . . . This is technically incomplete, as can easily be demonstrated by the example in the OP. In the above case, the person quote did not (likely) intend offense, whereas the poster took offense. In other words, there are loaded terms that can be simultaneously offensive and inoffensive to the speaker and to the listener. (Similarly, the case can be the reverse, where the speaker means offense, but the listener has no idea that it was meant to offend or is otherwise inured.) > [@](#): > > So why not look at intent here? Ray calling Nardo a fag was to indicate that his actions were different from the norm (much akin to how homosexuality is different from the norm.) . . . . So, why not grow a bit of a shell and realize if it’s directed at you with hate and scorn, why worry about it? Of course… intent is important. But what precisely _is_ the intent, when one redefines ‘gay’ as abnormal based on the presumption that gay _people_ are abnormal? **Medea’s Child** pointed out the term ‘military’ as an example. So let us imagine a future in which all things military are considered abnormal–that a large percentage of society now views military inclinations as deviant, wrong, perhaps even evil and worthy of death. And thus common inanimate objects that performed poorly were equated with people like you. Certainly you would have to develop a thick skin if you were a military person in such a society. No doubt you would. That does not mean, however, that you would be happy about the situation, that you would not feel somewhat disturbed by the implied notion that you are inherently valueless. Perhaps even if you _weren’t_ a military person, you might find some empathy for those who were. Or maybe not. The issue is not that a loaded term can’t be used inoffensively. Indeed, the worst insults imaginable can be exchanged between friends if the intent is not hostile. But it must be clear that such exchanges are not hostile to the parties involved. Among the friends you use the term ‘gay’ derisively with, have you made it explicitly clear that you think it’s OK for a person to be gay? If not, then what’s to keep them from thinking otherwise when most people indeed do believe homosexuality is something to be avoided, if not ridiculed? It’s little different from hanging with a bunch of good ol’ boys and remarking that one of them slow on the uptake must have nigger blood. Ah, you don’t have nothing against niggers, per se… it’s just a figure of speech. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/37 "2003-10-14T17:13:48Z")
Hmmm, let’s see: [ul][li]An entire community of men and women self-identifies as “gay.”[/li] [li]People use the term “gay” in a derogatory fashion.[/li] [li]That community is offended.[/ul][/li] I’m not seeing anything amiss here. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/38 "2003-10-14T17:52:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > Reminds me of that time in drama class where this girl was posing us, and she apologized to this other fellow for giving him stage directions that were “kind of gay.” I said, “Oh, well, maybe I should do it.” This is a running joke at the dance studio where I take lessons. One coach (who is English) will announce that she’s going outside for a fag, and another (who is gay) will ask if she needs him to go with her. ---
**Author:** ![zztzed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eb9ed0/32.png) [@zztzed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zztzed)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/39 "2003-10-14T20:08:23Z")
I can’t believe no one’s made a “homophone” joke yet. Then again, I can’t really come up with one myself… ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943/40 "2003-10-14T20:38:47Z")
Really quick, I’d like to get back to the original question, and then we can get back to the obvious argument in progress. The BOY couldn’t get the phone to do what he wanted, so his friend pointed out that the phone must not like him…therefore it must be a LESBIAN. Lesbians generally don’t entertain males. The phone wasn’t entertaining the MALE. I’d like to point out that I didn’t say it was a good joke, nor will I condone the statement. I just thought I’d answer the question. We will now return you to your regularly scheduled lesson in tolerance. Thank you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-story-of-the-phone-who-loved-other-phones/206943.md?page=3)