# The Straight Dope Bar Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/1 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")
You talking to ME? _Coldy breaks an empty Jack Daniels bottle on the bar and waves the remains around in a threatening manner_ C’mon, let’s hear it. What’s your problem dude? Huh? HUH?? ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/2 "2000-08-02T00:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*C’mon, let’s hear it. What’s your problem dude? Huh? HUH?? \*\* _wielding lightsaber_ Yeah, you. Your shoes look funny. ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/3 "2000-08-02T00:54:16Z")
_Kvallulf throws his mug of beer at the both of them_ Hehe, this is fun! ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/4 "2000-08-02T00:56:01Z")
_deflects mug of beer (sans beer, that’s going in my mouth) back at Kvallulf_ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/5 "2000-08-02T00:56:58Z")
A light sabre? You sci fi geek! That shit don’t work in Coldy’s Tavern! _throws Montfort a wine bottle_ Fight like you got a pair!! And what’s wrong with flip-flops, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![ponch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@ponch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponch)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/6 "2000-08-02T00:57:44Z")
(ponch keeps playing the piano as beer mugs fly by his head, never missing a note) get off my piano…(shoves innocent bystander off top of instrument.) ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/7 "2000-08-02T00:57:57Z")
Don’t Waste the Booze!!! ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/8 "2000-08-02T00:58:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Fight like you got a pair!! And what’s wrong with flip-flops, anyway? \*\* The clogs, Cloggy, the clogs. And, real men use lightsabers. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/9 "2000-08-02T00:59:17Z")
_Watches as the mug bounces off the wall_ Hey now!!! _Whips a chair into the crowded section, and points over at Coldfire when people start getting back up_ ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/10 "2000-08-02T01:01:58Z")
_takes a moment during the break in the action to size up Canadian Sue_ Mighty purdy, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/11 "2000-08-02T01:02:07Z")
_throws himself through the window_ I’ve always wanted to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/12 "2000-08-02T01:02:44Z")
Yeah, Monfort. What a prissy name-_Mon-Fort_. Lemmie show youse da proppa way ta brawl… \< twirls 5 foot length , 1/2 inch-links nickel plated steel chain----smacks wussy Mon-fart upside his perfumed haid\> GRRRRR! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/13 "2000-08-02T01:02:48Z")
::leaps on tope of bar for the hell of it:: ::Kicks random extra #5:: ::does song and dance number:: ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/14 "2000-08-02T01:04:19Z")
C’mon, I can take you all! Even that sissy that always says he can whip any sumbitch on these boards! Yes, aha, you! You’re going out the window, straight into the horse trough. Don’t worry Sue, we take our liquor seriously here at Coldy’s Tavern. No spilling, or they’ll deal with me and Mr. Broken JD here. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/15 "2000-08-02T01:04:28Z")
Learn to spell, Bosda di’whatever, it’s Mon **t** fort. Haven’t you learned not to mess with a Jedi? _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/16 "2000-08-02T01:07:04Z")
Don’t SIGH in my Tavern, sissy-pants! ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/17 "2000-08-02T01:07:27Z")
Would it be possible to get a drink in here, or are you boys too busy playing with your toys? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/18 "2000-08-02T01:09:11Z")
How YOU doin sweets? Sure, here’s a gin and tonic for ya. Look out for the flying furniture dear. Oh, and these are not toys. Well, Montfort’s is, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/19 "2000-08-02T01:09:32Z")
Don’t you dare go Jedi-geek on us, this here’s a respectable bar-fight; we don’t like your kind round here… …'sides, I can out-geek you anyday 😃 ::chugs whiskey, falls over, lands on piano, charges \*\* Coldfire \*\* with pool cue:: ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/20 "2000-08-02T01:10:03Z")
: Silo walks in : :: sits at the bar :: ::: gets a mug of Guinness ::: :::: Coldfire scares Silo :::: ::::: Coldfire is covered in Guinness ::::: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=2)