# The Straight Dope Bar Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/201 "2000-08-02T13:41:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\* > > - Yeeeeooowwwww!! \* > > ::gives chase, armed with remains of slushee and three half-melted ice cubes:: \*\* ::backs away cautiously:: So, umm, whatcha gonna do with that ice there, Myrr? ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/202 "2000-08-02T13:46:53Z")
:grabs bottle of liquor and two glasses: Self-service is the only way to go here, apparently. You sure got a purdy whip, cowboy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/203 "2000-08-02T13:52:47Z")
_picks self off of beer soaked floor, watches as Trion picks massive wedgie_ Don’t you worry about a thing miss. _swoops AudreyK into arms and dashes up to second floor balcony. Swings from chandelier back into fight_ Engarde Myrr21! _pulls out light sabre_ ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/204 "2000-08-02T13:59:24Z")
\*\* Sits at bar. Hands whip to Globe-trotter. Takes drink. \*\* [cowboy] Thank ya kindly little lady. [/cowboy] So. How do you plan to use that whip? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/205 "2000-08-02T14:19:49Z")
_leans over and whispers in Trion’s ear_ There. That’s what I plan to do with the whip. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/206 "2000-08-02T14:39:26Z")
Shadowfox slowly comes to and finds herself laying face down on the stage in a puddle of beer… "What in the hell? Looks down and discovers her top is missing… “Oops!” Grabs a rather nice looking leather jacket off of the floor, shakes off the beer and peanuts, and then puts it on. Then she stumbles over to what is left of the bar. “Hey! Barkeep! You got some aspirin?” Daintily shakes broken glass out of her hair and looks over at Coldfire with an evil grin. “Call me a bimbo…you just wait, Boy!” ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/207 "2000-08-02T14:46:19Z")
**GT** - Oh - My - God. - Pours himself another drink despite the shaking hands. Downs the drink in one gulp. \* Tell me more. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/208 "2000-08-02T15:21:28Z")
::: pokes head through door ::: [perky voice] Hi everybody! What’d I miss? [/perky voice] ::: batting eyelashes innocently ::: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/209 "2000-08-02T15:27:02Z")
sunshine, stay behind me, this could get nasty! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/210 "2000-08-02T15:39:21Z")
_Walks in, look of utter confusion as ChrisP and AudreyK swoop through the air, Globetrotter fondles Trion’s whip and Coldfire stands-drenched in beer and motioning for his next opponant to step forward_ Does anybody have a light? My skin-tight mini doesn’t have any pockets… _ducks as chair sails through the air, hitting a dart board_ ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/211 "2000-08-02T15:44:58Z")
:: pounding John Larrigan with his flashlight:: _I – just – want – to – know – where – the – **FREAKIN’** – **HIGHWAY** – is!_ And gimme a beer while we’re at it! ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/212 "2000-08-02T15:56:56Z")
_slowly comes to_ Dammit, I need JD! STAT! _whaps Coldfire repeatedly about the head_ That’s for those comments last night about my heaving chest! (yes, I know I started it. I need to hit on SOMEONE!) _discovers more ice cubes, and looks at ChrisP with a wicked gleam in her eye_ ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/213 "2000-08-02T15:58:54Z")
_kneeing Dave in the Ribs_ Down one mile… _Banging Daves head off the pool table_ left at the junction and on for another 3 blocks \*wiping his own blood from his nose You cant miss it \*collapses ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/214 "2000-08-02T16:00:16Z")
::: swoons from all the violence ::: ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/215 "2000-08-02T16:02:15Z")
Damn! All that testosterone is making me dizzy! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/216 "2000-08-02T16:05:53Z")
_nudges Globetrotter and Sunshine_ What is that pole on the stage for? ---
**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/217 "2000-08-02T16:27:14Z")
:: walks into bar, looks around. Finds last unbroken chair and table and moves it to middles of bar…::: ::speaking low in a calm voice:: bar tender. I need a bottle of Jack. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/218 "2000-08-02T16:31:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChrisP One Kenobe \* > \*\*_picks self off of beer soaked floor, watches as Trion picks massive wedgie_ > > Don’t you worry about a thing miss. _swoops AudreyK into arms and dashes up to second floor balcony. Swings from chandelier back into fight_ > > Engarde Myrr21! _pulls out light sabre_ \*\* ::whipes out evil red lightsaber:: Don’t make me cut off your hand! ::throws ice cube as distraction, does perfect doublet, stopping inches from ChrisP One Kenobe’s chest:: Ha HA!! ::ducks, rolls, and continues to chase Audrey with two remaining ice cubes:: ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/219 "2000-08-02T16:53:37Z")
::: sitting up from swoon ::: What’s that you say, **struuter**? There’s a pole? ::: straightening schoolgirl uniform ::: ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/220 "2000-08-02T16:58:21Z")
_adopts psuedo-innocent expression_ Yeah…right over there. I think we might be safer up there. Care to join me? Just let me unbutton my blouse a little. It’s hot in here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=12)