# The Straight Dope Bar Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/241 "2000-08-02T21:09:23Z")
I’m here struuter, and thanks. I’m not real good at posting in the pit, but I’m getting the swing of things, I think. So I hear my special talents are needed? Which one are we referring to? ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/242 "2000-08-02T21:38:30Z")
Thank heavens you’re here, **ChrisP**! **struuter** wisely surmised that I am in need of some sort of assistance here…my thong has snapped off and is currently choking **Coldy** and my pasties are falling off left and right! Care to give a girl a hand? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/243 "2000-08-02T21:49:57Z")
Who the hell do I have to punch out to get a damn drink around here? (Coldfire, this thread could make you a legend. Much like [Guy Stuff](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=18972).) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/244 "2000-08-02T22:22:52Z")
:::kicks open doors::: Howdy! Y’all still fightin’? Good! Just what I like to see. :::sidles up to bar::: Guinness, please, and some of those Wings from the Pits of Hell you served me last night. Yummy! :::out of the corner of her eye, Persephone spies Trion’s whip, snaking toward her head–and she snags it in mid-air::: Bad Trion! Bad! Bad! :::cracks whip, lassoos Trion’s ankles::: Apologize, or you land on your fanny! :::munches wing::: I mean it! :::chugs beer::: Okay, fine. :::jerks whip, Trion lands on his butt::: Now, no more of this sneaking up on people with your whip, 'mkay? ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/245 "2000-08-02T22:39:54Z")
::corners Audrey, slowly reaches out…drops ice cube in drink:: 😉 ::drops other ice cube down shirt:: Wheee! That’ll learn ya t’pour slushee down my back… ---
**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/246 "2000-08-02T23:25:53Z")
struuter, no one has approached me yet. I do not fight until provoked. besides nobody is a challenge to me ::: open’s trench coat, Fingers Kitana::: Let them come… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/247 "2000-08-02T23:28:58Z")
_looks at DarkHeart from other end of bar, raises eyebrow_ There can be only one… ---
**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/248 "2000-08-02T23:31:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*_looks at DarkHeart from other end of bar, raises eyebrow_ > > There can be only one… \*\* At last THE GATHERING has come. :::pulls out kitana::: So it begins. Come Falcon, Let us end this… ---
**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/249 "2000-08-02T23:32:32Z")
Damn smilies!! ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/250 "2000-08-02T23:36:25Z")
Dang Nabbit!!! Howsa feller suppose to git any sleep roun here? Keep the noise down you hooligans!!! _pulls his pillow back over his head_ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/251 "2000-08-02T23:37:28Z")
_finishes glass of scotch, then stands up, removing overcoat and drawing sword_ Yes, let’s finish it, DarkHeart…but in the end, I’ll be the one left standing… ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/252 "2000-08-02T23:39:07Z")
_throws a poke-ball out_ Pikachu I choose you!!! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/253 "2000-08-02T23:41:14Z")
::reels groggily as he wipes the blood and sweat out of his eyes. Sees John Larrigan’s unconscious form half under the pool table. Gives Larrigan a kick in the kidneys:: Thanks. I appreciate it. Sorry for the fractured skull. ::Sees Persephone:: Hey, those wings don’t look half bad. Do you mind if I have a couple before I go? ::sits next to Persophone:: That’s a lovely ankle bracelet you’re wearing. Come here often? ---
**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/254 "2000-08-02T23:42:26Z")
:::throws off trench,pulls out sword::: :::runs at Falcon,see bottle of jack sitting on bar::: I was wondering why I never got my bottle. :::takes swig of jack::: ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/255 "2000-08-02T23:54:52Z")
**Persephone** sez > [@](#): > > Now, no more of this sneaking up on people with your whip, 'mkay? Ma’am, if I have offended, I apologize. It shall not happen again. Barkeep, a drink for this fine lady please. :: tips hat :: :: dives back into fray :: ---
**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/256 "2000-08-02T23:58:31Z")
:::looking at Falcon::: some thing tells me that you are to happy to die today **hijack** new job congrats Till another day Falcon. :::turns and walks out the bar. looks back for struuter and does not see her::: Until next time… ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/257 "2000-08-03T00:02:27Z")
\*:: In an effort to get everyone to calm down, Milo puts a $5 bill in the juke box and selects “Celine Dion’s Greatest Hits” …:: C’mon everybody! Near … far … wherever you are … I believe that the heart does, go oo-oo-oonnnnn… ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/258 "2000-08-03T00:10:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Milossarian \* > \*\*\*:: In an effort to get everyone to calm down, Milo puts a $5 bill in the juke box and selects “Celine Dion’s Greatest Hits” …:: > > C’mon everybody! > > Near … far … wherever you are … I believe that the heart does, go oo-oo-oonnnnn… \*\* ::kills \*\* Milossarian \*\* :: ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/259 "2000-08-03T00:12:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\*Who the hell do I have to punch out to get a damn drink around here? > > (Coldfire, this thread could make you a legend. Much like [Guy Stuff](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=18972).) \*\* MAKE me a legend? What ARE you implying 😉 _Coldy pulls the plug of the Jukebox_ Milo, this is a bar fight, not a Medieval Torture Session. Celine Dion is out! ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/260 "2000-08-03T00:15:53Z")
_breathes a sigh of relief_ All hail Coldfire, slayer of the Untalented Singers! Now gimme a drink, damn it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=14)