# The Straight Dope Bar Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/261 "2000-08-03T00:21:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Globe-trotter \* > \*\*_breathes a sigh of relief_ > > All hail Coldfire, slayer of the Untalented Singers! > > Now gimme a drink, damn it. \*\* _hands Globe-trotter a glass of tap water_ ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/262 "2000-08-03T00:29:08Z")
:Silo wakes up covered in dry mud: :removes dried mud and realizes—hangovers are a bitch:: :hears C. Dion and says, “^%@#&#@!\*”: :everyone points at MILO: :Silo picks up Milo and throws him through the jukebox: [mass applauding] :me grabs a beer to drown out hangover: ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/263 "2000-08-03T00:29:37Z")
:sits next to Kvallulf and spills the water on Kvallulf’s lap: There. Get me some booze, now. ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/264 "2000-08-03T00:31:51Z")
_goes to the bar, and gets a bottle of Bacardi 151, and pours it over Globe-trotters head_ Hehe ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/265 "2000-08-03T00:32:27Z")
Well, I was going to stop in to this nice, friendly neighbourhood bar on my way home from work for a relaxing drink, but… ::takes one look at the goings-on, and skedaddles for the door:: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/266 "2000-08-03T00:39:00Z")
Thanks for the drink, Trion! Now, is somebody gonna cut somebody’s head off here or what? :::notices Milossarian laying on the floor::: Uhhhh…never mind. :::glances casually over at Dave::: Oh, you like the bracelet? Why, thank you! No, I don’t come here too often, only when I’m looking for a little adventure… ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/267 "2000-08-03T00:41:37Z")
:gives Kvallulf the evil eye: :walks over to Trion, borrows his whip: Don’t make me use it, kiddo. :watches Kvallulf faint: Ha. ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/268 "2000-08-03T00:46:17Z")
_quietly gets uo after playing possum, and snatches the whip from Globe-trotter._ Pikachu Thundershock now! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/269 "2000-08-03T00:56:43Z")
The next one to use a Pokemon reference is going to be dragged through Main Street by wild horny stallions! ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/270 "2000-08-03T00:56:56Z")
:: Sassy walks in, looks around with a small smile, adjusts the knife tucked into the top of her stocking:: Persephone! This place is all you said - any more of those wings? And a Jamesons neat, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/271 "2000-08-03T01:06:22Z")
::Rises and smiles gallantly to Sassy:: Hello, there young lady. I think there are still some wings available, and plenty of libation. Barkeep! A round for the ladies! ::smacks an interloper upside the head with his flashlight and sits between Persephone and Sassy:: ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/272 "2000-08-03T01:07:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\*::corners Audrey, slowly reaches out…drops ice cube in drink:: > > 😉 > > ::drops other ice cube down shirt:: > > Wheee! That’ll learn ya t’pour slushee down my back… \*\* EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! That was cold!!! I’ll have to take off my shirt now! ::Audrey unbuttons her shirt, revealing her perfect… second shirt:: HAH!! No nudity from me!! At least not yet… ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/273 "2000-08-03T01:18:43Z")
_Breaks a chair over Coldfires head_ Take that! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/274 "2000-08-03T01:18:49Z")
Sassy! So glad you could make it! This place is pretty cool, huh? :::notices Dave standing up gallantly to greet Sassy, and watches him sit down between…two redheads::: Dave, you sure you know what you’re doing, man? You just parked your butt firmly between two redheads. And Sassy here is an _Alpha_ redhead. Other redheads bow down to _her,_ you know what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/275 "2000-08-03T01:18:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > > EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! > > That was cold!!! I’ll have to take off my shirt now! > > ::Audrey unbuttons her shirt, revealing her perfect… > second shirt:: > > HAH!! No nudity from me!! At least not yet… \*\* Damn! And here I thought you were going to say “kevlar vest”… Nice second shirt ya got there… er… …would’ja like a flower? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/276 "2000-08-03T01:24:41Z")
A chair? Boy, you need to break out the Queen Anne Sofa to knock out Clog Boy! _slaps Kvalluf with a beer mat. Kvalluf faints and falls down with a dry ‘thump’_ ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/277 "2000-08-03T01:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*A chair? Boy, you need to break out the Queen Anne Sofa to knock out Clog Boy! > > _slaps Kvalluf with a beer mat. Kvalluf faints and falls down with a dry ‘thump’_ \*\* _Quietly watches as Coldfire turns his back, completely fooled by the fainting bit, and then attaches one end of the bungie cord to the ceiling fan, and the other to Coldfires pants._ Hehe. _then saunters over the swtich and turns on the ceiling fan_ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/278 "2000-08-03T01:34:21Z")
HEY! MONT-FART! On page 2 of this fight, I soaked your pants in gasoline & set it on fire. You **can’t** be **so** drunk or **so** stupid that ya doesn’t notice that yer ass is on fire. Or can you? ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/279 "2000-08-03T01:37:40Z")
_starts laughing as Coldfire recieves the ultra wedgie, as the bungie cord pulls Coldfires pant higher and higher._ ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/280 "2000-08-03T01:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\* > Damn! And here I thought you were going to say “kevlar vest”… > > Nice second shirt ya got there… > > er… > …would’ja like a flower? \*\* Myrr, stop staring at my shirt! That’s not polite. 😃 And why yes, I’d love a flower! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=15)