# The Straight Dope Bar Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/301 "2000-08-03T13:17:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\* ::giggles:: I win!!! \*\* Oh? Is that what you think? Sorry to fight dirty, but… ::turns on sprinkler system:: Ha ha! ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/302 "2000-08-03T13:20:31Z")
_crawls out from under safety of pool table and looks for DarkHeart. Sees Falcon sheath her sword; lifts eyes to ceiling fan with Coldfire attached to it_ Oh shit, is somebody gonna get it now. _sees Celine Dion fuming_ Hey Coldfire! _points at Celine_ She did it! ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/303 "2000-08-03T13:24:09Z")
Sssshouldent ssomeone cut Cold - Cold - _hick_ Coldfire down?? Whehhherzza ladder? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/304 "2000-08-03T13:32:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > > \*\* ::giggles:: I win!!! \*\* > > Oh? Is that what you think? > > Sorry to fight dirty, but… > > ::turns on sprinkler system:: > > Ha ha! \*\* Great! You just electrocuted everyone!! ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/305 "2000-08-03T13:43:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > Great! You just electrocuted everyone!! \*\* I most certainly did \* not! \* How many of us were holding exposed wiring? Can I get a show of hands? I just got everyone wet (well, I may have electrocuted ChrisP is his lightsaber’s still out–you never want to take those out in the rain). Though I suppose you were dunked already, so a little sprinkler isn’t going to change much…wait a minute…you were wet already, and I wasn’t. Damn. Curses, foiled again! 🙂 And stay away from me with those implements of destruction! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/306 "2000-08-03T13:49:37Z")
\*looks up at dave… Are you quite finished? \*takes out rubber- coated baton No marks, no evidence, no prisoners!! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/307 "2000-08-03T17:11:45Z")
_matt runs in, intoxicated by the smells of sweat and alcohol, goes quite mad_ Winner gets a blowjob! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/308 "2000-08-03T17:16:15Z")
::Swiddles pops her head in, smells the stink of testosterone, realises someone will have to clean this mess up, and slinks slowly out of the room:: ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/309 "2000-08-03T22:47:52Z")
::sees Larrigan’s rubber-coated baton:: Oh, hey, I was just kidding. Pummelling people is how I express my thanks after they’ve given me directions. Honest. It’s a custom in my part of the country. I’m from New York, you know. :: points over Larrigan’s shoulder:: Look! Halley’s Comet! ::ducks and runs:: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/310 "2000-08-03T23:08:41Z")
Sigh. The men just don’t give up, do they, Sassy? :::catches John Larrigan in mid-air::: Hi there! Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt your flight. You were going… :::flings John the rest of the way in to the pool table::: …that way, correct? Now hurry up, Dave! The wings are getting cold! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/311 "2000-08-03T23:15:39Z")
Ah, but the carrot-topped damsels are still warm, I see. ::settles in between Persephone and Sassy:: Pass the blue cheese dressing, wouldya? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/312 "2000-08-03T23:53:38Z")
Smeghead struts in, toothpick hanging menacingly from his grizzled chin. Too much yakkin’, not enough ass-whoopin’. Smeghead heads over to the Pit, grabs **Drainthelizard** ’s quivering, all but lifeless body, and uses it to smack **Coldfire** down from the ceiling fan. Now, then. Who wants to head next door and beat up **7 of 7**? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/313 "2000-08-04T00:00:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\*I most certainly did \* not! \* > > How many of us were holding exposed wiring? Can I get a show of hands? > \*\* You forgot about the jukebox! It’s still plugged in and crankin’ out Willie Nelson tunes, right? _ZAP_ Whooo, there goes ChrisP!!! ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/314 "2000-08-04T00:07:09Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* \*\* > [@](#): > > You forgot about the jukebox! It’s still plugged in and crankin’ out Willie Nelson tunes, right? > > _ZAP_ > > Whooo, there goes ChrisP!!! \*\* It’s a shame that the bolt can’t traverse space-time and just zap Celine Dion directly… Oh, and now all the sugar cubes in my pocket have gone and melted; durn it. On the plus side, though, Audrey’s all wet 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/315 "2000-08-04T00:11:17Z")
Wow, lookie here, I can control the _ZAP_!!! _ZAP_ BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Take that, Myrr!! ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/316 "2000-08-04T00:18:01Z")
Ouch, tha’s 'lectricity a-going through me. Owww. Knock it of **ZAP** However, it’s nice to see that lovely glow that you’re emitting, it’s quite fetchin **ZAP** owww. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/317 "2000-08-04T00:35:28Z")
::giggles:: _ZAP!_ Cute the way your hair stands up, Myrr!! ---
**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/318 "2000-08-04T00:41:55Z")
Hey you kids knock of the nonsense!!! ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/319 "2000-08-04T00:49:08Z")
Cute eh? Maybe in the future I should just wire myself to a 9 V battery and walk aroun **ZAP!** Hey! That tickles! And the heart-stopping thing’s not fun either (though you’re breath-taking thing is pretty nice, I got to admit). Glad you could stop by and light up the room with your presenc **ZAP!** I’ll just cower in submission now… ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/320 "2000-08-04T01:05:54Z")
:Pulls up in front of the bar in a big truck. Printed on the side of the truck is “Rock-n-Rolga’s Flimsy Chairs, Prop Bottles, Water Troughs, Bondage Gear, Pure Grain Alcohol, and Crisps”: _BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…BEEP…_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=17)