# The Straight Dope Bar Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![filthy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@filthy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filthy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/341 "2000-08-04T03:04:58Z")
filthy staggers out on to the second floor balcony and sees many supine bodies below. A few of them still move, so he checks the load in his sawed-off 12 bore, moves carefully down the stairs to the bar, grabs the last jug of Black Jack, and skulks back up to the ho’s room. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/342 "2000-08-04T03:11:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*Sakura’s disarmed!! Sakura’s disarmed!! Get her!! > > Myrr, thanks for the Coke! ::sip:: Mmmmm, I taste Kvallulf’s fear!! Where did he go? \*\* Geez, I’m really sorry–I didn’t mean to get his fear into your drink. That must make it taste all weird. Though I’m sure there’s at least one unsmashed bottle in here, if you want a non fear-tainted one… 🙂 ::discharges all of the static electricy accumulated through multiple ZAPings into Sakura:: Ha! That beating I’ve taken got put to good use… …ooh, I feel woozy…I think I’ll just pass out here on the bar…_CLUNK!_ ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/343 "2000-08-04T03:24:48Z")
OH MY! Myrr!! Are you okay? ::fans Myrr with bar napkin:: See what all this fighting has done?! Jack, help me pick this guy up, okie dokie? Let’s put him in that Canada Dry keg I dumped Kvallulf in… ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/344 "2000-08-04T03:30:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*OH MY! Myrr!! Are you okay? ::fans Myrr with bar napkin:: See what all this fighting has done?! Jack, help me pick this guy up, okie dokie? Let’s put him in that Canada Dry keg I dumped Kvallulf in… \*\* Jack…Daniels? ::wakes up to see Audrey:: Why hello there; nice to see a lovely face so early in the morning. And where am I being dragged to **SPLASH** …oh ::emerges dripping and bubbly:: ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/345 "2000-08-04T03:41:46Z")
::giggles:: ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/346 "2000-08-04T03:53:49Z")
Laugh at me, will you? Dump me in the keg will you? Well, I’ve got news for you: I’ll–oh, I dunno…think it’s kinda cute 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/347 "2000-08-04T03:58:33Z")
Awww… If I was mean, I’d exploit this poor guy further, but I won’t. What say we just watch the others fight for now? ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/348 "2000-08-04T04:04:02Z")
Whadda ya mean “exploit”?? 🙂 Seems to be a general lack of bar fighting going on, though. ::sits down; throws bottle into the crowd to stir things up up again:: Alright, now we got us a show! ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/349 "2000-08-04T04:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\*Whadda ya mean “exploit”?? 🙂 > \*\* You really want me to elaborate?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/350 "2000-08-04T04:19:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > You really want me to elaborate?? :eek: \*\* Hey, don’t make that face at me…or I’ll just do it right back :eek: See? Now then, we should have a good show: ::incites drunken mob:: c’mon, we’re trying to watch a bar brawl here…let’s get some fightin’ happenin. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/351 "2000-08-04T04:22:54Z")
Perhaps we should resurrect Sakura? She seemed like a fighter type. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/352 "2000-08-04T04:32:06Z")
Hmm, now there’s a thought… ::performs ritual ressurection:: So, you up for a some cards while we wait for these drunken bums to get it on? We could play pool, but there seems to be an on-fire unconscious brawler on the table… ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/353 "2000-08-04T04:48:38Z")
Yes, pool! I don’t know many card games… ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/354 "2000-08-04T04:59:22Z")
Right then, I’ll just roll this flaming drunk off 've the table–I hope he hasn’t burned it too badly… **WHUMP** Now then, for some pool (are there any cues left unbroken?): ::racks em up:: ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/355 "2000-08-04T05:18:12Z")
I’ve got my own cue. What shall we play? I prefer nine-ball myself… But seeing as you’re the one with the balls 😃 it’s your call. ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/356 "2000-08-04T05:22:10Z")
I’m sure I can find a cue around here–ahh yes, this wooden leg will do nicely…no, you won’t be needing this anymore, sir **CLUMP** Now, then, I think the game should be your choice; I may have the balls, but you’re the one who’’’ be breaking them 😃 (top \* that \* ) ---
**Author:** ![Prosser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@Prosser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prosser)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/357 "2000-08-04T05:51:59Z")
:looks in, ducks, orders a beer: “hey, this place needs a bouncer like in Roudhouse!” :ducks again: ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/358 "2000-08-04T06:21:35Z")
Myrr, your balls are painted such _pretty_ colours! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Prosser \* > \*\*:looks in, ducks, orders a beer: > > “hey, this place needs a bouncer like in Roudhouse!” > > :ducks again: \*\* Nah, Patrick Swayze broke his legs a couple years back, didn’t he? He couldn’t defend against a three-year-old! ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/359 "2000-08-04T08:29:53Z")
I came in late, but that don’t mean nothin’. _smashes into the place with her underage self, wedging herself between Audrey and Myrr_ Makin’ this bar a lovey-dovey place, are ya? I don’t think so! _steps out from between them and knocks their heads together_ ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/360 "2000-08-04T08:37:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nocturne \* > \*\* > Makin’ this bar a lovey-dovey place, are ya? I don’t think so! > _steps out from between them and knocks their heads together_ \*\* OWWWWWWWW!!! Dammit, kid, shouldn’t you be in bed by now??! _douses Nocturne with stale beer_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=19)