# The Straight Dope Bar Fight

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/41 "2000-08-02T01:24:01Z")

</div>

Silo buys everyone a drink, tis on me fellas.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Baglady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Baglady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baglady)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/42 "2000-08-02T01:25:12Z")

</div>

Baglady runs out with her cell phone in hand, furiously calling 911 to tell them that a bunch of people in an online message board are having a pretend bar fight.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/43 "2000-08-02T01:25:13Z")

</div>

OOooo… now where did that ice cube go??

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/44 "2000-08-02T01:25:38Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> What’s it take to get a little service in this place…and is this blouse too low cut??

It helps if you’re jumping the barman’s bones. 😉

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/45 "2000-08-02T01:26:15Z")

</div>

I think I see it, Here let me help you!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/46 "2000-08-02T01:26:56Z")

</div>

::::yells across bar::::::

“Where the hell is my Molson?”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/47 "2000-08-02T01:29:08Z")

</div>

OK, fine. Everybody take 5 and drink a bit. We’re only recharging for round two, of course.

I’ll just sit here for a minute with me bottle of JD and the new gal with the heaving chest 😉

How YOU doin, sugar? Wanna see my Mustang? Just had it hooved!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/48 "2000-08-02T01:29:19Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Globe-trotter \*  
> \*\*
> 
> It helps if you’re jumping the barman’s bones. 😉 \*\*

Who is the barman around here? Coldy? Where did he go? 😉

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/49 "2000-08-02T01:30:06Z")

</div>

:Silo tells Techchick a lame joke:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/50 "2000-08-02T01:31:06Z")

</div>

OH there he is…got a shot of that for a _lady_?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/51 "2000-08-02T01:31:55Z")

</div>

::Finishes tying Byzantine’s shoelaces together…moves on to techchick::

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/52 "2000-08-02T01:32:50Z")

</div>

Well helLO there Coldy Clogs. How YOU doin? _smooch_

Can I have some of your JD?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/53 "2000-08-02T01:32:50Z")

</div>

Don’t forget to use a French tickler, Angkins. The barman loves it. 😉

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/54 "2000-08-02T01:33:23Z")

</div>

First, thanks to Coldfire for starting this thread, I needed the laught tonight especially badly.  
Second, thanks to Falon for the heaving chest.  
Third,  
_retrieves butterly knife from back pockets_

WHO WANTS SOME!!!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/55 "2000-08-02T01:34:07Z")

</div>

\< techchick runs outside, laughing at Silo’s joke.

Backs 1 ton Chevy into the large opening of the bar.

Dumps dirt in a pit, whips out the water hose (from water tank on back) and dumps water all over the dirt.

To distract the the men, get’s Persephone and Angkins in swimsuits and starts the mud wrestling competition. \>

“In this corner we have…”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/56 "2000-08-02T01:34:21Z")

</div>

_Rushes to the bar, and grabs five random bottles_

You said five, right?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/57 "2000-08-02T01:34:58Z")

</div>

:Silo starts throwing peanuts at everyone:

(hey they’re free!)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/58 "2000-08-02T01:36:41Z")

</div>

Coldie! I need a refill! Just give me the whole bottle, I’ll take real good care of it. 😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/59 "2000-08-02T01:37:14Z")

</div>

“Hey everybody, knock it off!”

\*_shot from balcony where i stand, tumble over and break table_

_brushes dust off bloodless self, and orders a boilermaker_\*

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/60 "2000-08-02T01:37:24Z")

</div>

\< techchick give Perspephone and Angkins the knowing nod \>

“Quick, grab Coldy and mush his face in the mud!” :0

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=2)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776.md?page=4)