# The Straight Dope Bar Fight

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 2, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776 "2000-08-02T00:48:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/61 "2000-08-02T01:37:45Z")

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Anyone mind if I smoke???

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**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/62 "2000-08-02T01:38:02Z")

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OOH, a fight!!! Can I keep score??

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**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/63 "2000-08-02T01:38:04Z")

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Shimmying up to the bar, refilling Globe’s drinky _hic_ and treating Byz to a real Canadian beer eh!

I think we need more men in here!! Waiter Waiter!!

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/64 "2000-08-02T01:38:15Z")

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Free peanuts, my ass. 2 bucks a bag, same as downtown.

What’s up with the mud? You gals better clean that stuff when you’re done!

Oooooh… are those string bikinis I sees?

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**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/65 "2000-08-02T01:39:08Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Globe-trotter \*  
> \*\*Don’t forget to use a French tickler, Angkins. The barman loves it. 😉 \*\*

Can I get one of those in the vending machine in the washroom? I seem to have left mine at home.

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**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/66 "2000-08-02T01:39:59Z")

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\< techchick grabs Coldy, wrestles him to the ground and drags him to the mud pit \>

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**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/67 "2000-08-02T01:40:06Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AudreyK \*  
> \*\*OOH, a fight!!! Can I keep score?? \*\*

::crawls back out from under table, sidles over::

Why fancy meetin you round here…

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**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/68 "2000-08-02T01:41:29Z")

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:While nobody’s looking Silo retrives stink bomb  
from pocket and sets it off in the corner:

:Silo yells out, “Hey, who farted!”

(heheh)

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**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/69 "2000-08-02T01:42:07Z")

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Persephone full-Nelsons a thoroughly distracted Coldfire:::

Who’s yer mama now, huh? Who’s yer mama?!?!

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**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/70 "2000-08-02T01:42:32Z")

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Come on over here Coldy… I _need_ to show you something. 😉

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**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/71 "2000-08-02T01:42:54Z")

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Ok then!!!

_lights up a cigar, and whips out a six shooter and starts plinking at the empties_

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/72 "2000-08-02T01:44:12Z")

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Thanks for the refill, Sue.

Now. Where the hell are the male strippers?

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**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/73 "2000-08-02T01:45:04Z")

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Milo puts incorrect answers on everyone else’s NTN Satellite Trivia gameboards during the commotion …

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**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/74 "2000-08-02T01:45:43Z")

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“Get 'im, Persephone, get 'im!!!”

“Ang, watch out, he’s going for your legs!”

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**Author:** ![Angkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/75 "2000-08-02T01:45:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Kvallulf \*  
> \*\*Ok then!!!
> 
> _lights up a cigar, and whips out a six shooter and starts plinking at the empties_ \*\*

Can I try???

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/76 "2000-08-02T01:46:22Z")

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Male strippers?? I thought we ordered fe-male strippers??

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/77 "2000-08-02T01:46:52Z")

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\< techchick jumps in the mud and starts ripping off Coldy’s clothes \>

giggle

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/78 "2000-08-02T01:47:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Persephone \*  
> \*\*Persephone full-Nelsons a thoroughly distracted Coldfire:::
> 
> Who’s yer mama now, huh? Who’s yer mama?!?! \*\*

I don’t really know, it’s been a long time… although this here bosom of yours sure does bring back some memories 😉

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/79 "2000-08-02T01:47:11Z")

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Hey, Mon **t** fart! Are you…chilly?  
\< pours gasoline down Montfort’s pants\>

Hey, Kvallulf! Gimme that!

\<takes cigar, touches lit end to Montfort, **WHOOSH!!!** \>

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\
**Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-bar-fight/27776/80 "2000-08-02T01:48:09Z")

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:::drops Coldfire, heads for Milossarian:::

HEY! Mess with MY answers, will ya?

:::sprays Milo with seltzer bottle:::

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