# The Straight Dope Flirt Academy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 23, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035 "2003-02-23T23:57:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/21 "2003-02-24T04:16:59Z")
I am a DoperChick™. I need quite a bit of practice with this. _idea_ Does anyone need a study buddy? ---
**Author:** ![Lockz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Lockz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockz)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/22 "2003-02-24T04:23:51Z")
I think I can help you out, **lel** , being a DoperDude and all. Um, I really like your hair! :: Gets nervous, and looks for some place to hide :: ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/23 "2003-02-24T04:34:41Z")
Wow! I didn’t expect this big of a group to begin with! Well, there’s no time like the present to dig in. > [@](#): > > _samarm began with this_ > \*\*\*::walks over to TruePisces:: > > ::nochilantly puts Porsche keys on table:: > > ::says “Hey babe, I’m a pisces too. How about me and you go for a swim?”::\* > > (I really am a pisces, by the way!)\*\* Not a bad start. Not a bad start at all. Looks like you might be ready for the Flirting 201. _raises an eyebrow and a secret smile plays across my lips_ “A midnight swim?” > [@](#): > > _Toffee then came in and said:_ > \*\*“Hi.” 🙂 > > _blinks, trying to think of something to say_ > > _short awkward pause_ > > “Um, I’m Christoffer, how you doing?”\*\* That’s never a bad start, but you can tell your nervousness. First and foremost, you need to believe that your flirting is going to work. Whether it gets you a date or not really doesn’t matter as much as the practice of flirting does. The only thing I’d suggest changing is the awkward pause. Otherwise, it’s a fine start. I’m TruePisces, and I’m glad to meet, Christoffer. > [@](#): > > _Buckleberry Ferry came in next, offering this:_ > \*\*:: pales:: > > ::gets wide eyed:: > > ::begins to make irrelevant comments and over-the-top opinions that I cannot back up:: > > ::realizes she’s stupid, waits for everyone to leave, and reminds self that she has no business speaking aloud::\*\* You can’t think that way! You have as much business speaking aloud and learning as the rest of us. Why don’t we step back a step? When you first meet someone that looks interesting, what would you say? The very first thing out of your mouth? We’ll go from there. > [@](#): > > _When Kyla came in, she said:_ > Professor TruePisces! > > I’m so glad you started this thread! I do not know how to flirt. My flirting skills are so terrible that I have completely missed people flirting with me. (Kind people have let me know about the flirting afterwords. It just seemed like a nice chat to me!) > > Please help this clueless girl. > > Naive in Michigan\*\* Oh, **Kyla**! I’ve seen you in action in person, and I would never have guessed that you thought you didn’t know how to flirt! I honestly think you are a natural flirt, but we’ll see what we can do about making it so you can flirt on purpose as well as with your natural gift. First, though, do you want to primarily know when people are flirting with you, or how to flirt back when they have started? > [@](#): > > _lel came in with the plea:_ > **Professor TruePisces, I would love to enroll in this course. However, my flirting skills are extraordinarily deficient. For this reason, I must request enrollment in a course more basic than Flirting 101. I do sincerely wish to increase my skills, and I promise to get private tutors, as many as necessary!** I’m sure we’ll have plenty of guest instructors that will be happy to come in and give you private instruction. I’ve had some very good students come out of this school in the past, and they almost always want to help others, when the call goes out. So that’s something you won’t have to worry about. Now, where would you like to start? On how to flirt online? In real life? Recognizing flirting when someone’s doing it to you? We can start anywhere. > [@](#): > > _Global Citizen then came in, requesting:_ > \*\*I’ll take all the advice I can get. > > Professor TruePisces, I’m a Pisces, too! (Actually, I’m an identical twin so there’s another one, plus my Mom is a Pisces as well.) > > Okay, I haven’t had a girlfriend in … 9 years. No, that’s not a typo. Nine years. > > I have no idea how to flirt. My confidence is pretty low but a couple of things in the past two months has helped: regular exercise (my BMI is perfect) and I got a promotion at work which I’ll start next week. > > How do I flirt? Where should I do it? (As a side note, I go to the grocery store several times a week, a bookstore a couple of times a week, the gym, etc. But I’ve never, ever, ever met anyone in those places. I don’t even know if those are good places or not.) > > Any help is appreciated (heck, I’ll probably get a laugh at the spam, too! 🙂 )\*\* Spam is one thing you won’t need to worry about! We don’t really find it necessary to get enrollment interest here. (Though, if you want some, we _certainly_ aim to please! ;)) Having more confidence in yourself definitely helps when it comes to flirting. Successful flirting, even if it’s just for fun, and self-esteem are a very healthy cycle, actually. Because the more successful flirts you have, the better you’ll feel about yourself. As far as where to flirt… my best suggestion is always to start flirting with someone that you DON’T have to worry about rejection with. Someone that is just a good friend that you can talk to. Or in this thread (since there are a lot of people ready and willing to help you practice). I’ve found that good online flirting techniques do help when you get into offline flirting situations. Once you feel you’re ready to flirt with someone out in the big bad world, I’d suggest a place you feel comfortable and a place you know. Of the places you’ve mentioned, I’d suggest either the bookstore or the gym. They are both places where you’d be meeting like-minded people. The grocery store, the only thing you may be able to make conversation over is the melons. While that could lead to some interesting conversations, it’s not as sure of a thing. Now… how to flirt. That’s a bit of a tough question. Everyone has different techniques. Some people like to be coy. (It’s something that’s worked for me in the past. ;)) Some like to be smooth. Some like to be a little more straightforward. It all depends on what you feel most comfortable with. Let’s start with a scenario: You are in the bookstore, looking over the newest titles. You see a woman, a pretty cute woman, pick up a title that you’ve recently read. You’re feeling pretty good about yourself, so you decide to flirt with her a little. What would be the first thing that would come to your mind to say? > [@](#): > > _Next, Duke came in, wanting to know:_ > **Please sign me up for the first course as well. I’ve been so hopeless at flirting, I can’t even participate in “SDMB Flirting Threads,” and how hopeless is that?** Well, this looks like a good place to start. (And it’s definitely not hopeless!) There are times when you just need to jump in and try. And that’s actually what this thread is about. Try out your technique, see what works for you. So, there’s a flirt thread that has opened up. Someone ask you “How YOU doin’?” What’s your reply? > [@](#): > > _Boyo Jim had this plea:_ > \*\*Sometimes I think women might be flirting with me, and I long to respond. But the consequences of my being mistaken might mean dismissal from my job, a civil lawsuit, or imprisonment. > > How do I get over my fears and go for the gold?\*\* First and foremost, you have to have confidence. A well placed flirt will rarely result in any of the fears that you have. At most, you may be told that someone is not interested, but there are only problems when you DON’T stop when requested. As I’ve said earlier in this post, the best way to get over your fears is to practice. Practice with people you aren’t worried about how they’ll take it. The Boards are almost always good for this. Starting here is actually what got me over a lot of my fears about doing it out in public. As you practice more, and learn what works and what doesn’t, you’ll have more confidence in yourself and not be as afraid of what might happen. > [@](#): > > _Previous student Sunspace then came back to say:_ > \*\*Dear Professor TruePisces: > I would like to re-enlist in The Flirting Boot-Camp. I washed out of the last one, but I’ve been Making My Life Better: I’ve been working out and I got a decent apartment and I 'm researching a new career. Other than that, as far as flirting-skill goes, I pretty much sound like the previous five posters in this thread: I need the basics, not the finer arts. > > So… a question… does it help to be bilingual? :)\*\* So just what _is_ your second language, hmmm? 😉 Glad to hear that things are working out, and I’m sure you remember a thing or two from the last session. Unfortunately, I can’t remember exactly where we were last time (it’s been awhile), so we’ll have to start at the beginning once again. So, where would you like to start? > [@](#): > > _Lockz then came in with:_ > \*\*:: walks into room :: > > :: turns to look at TruePisces :: > > Hey, ba ---- > > :: walks into wall, falls down :: > > Hmm, this isn’t good. Do you have any tips to help me out?\*\* God, if only I DID have the effect on men! 😃 But something like that can be pretty flattering, if it’s turned to something sincere-but-smooth sounding. “Sorry about that. I was just struck by your beautiful black hair and I lost where I was for a minute.” would work on me any time! > [@](#): > > _Next hampster wandered in:_ > \*\*As I look at all the shiny happy people around me, I get the feeling knowing how to flirt will get further than knowing how to contrast Chaucer’s Clerk and Squire. > > ::Tosses his english lit book away:: > > I need help Prof. > > I can flirt! > > Just- not on purpose, and when I do there always tend to be ridiculous complications.\*\* You, like **Kyla** , are a natural flirt. And, yes, it’s caused a few problems in the past, but you just need to hone your skill a bit more. Find someone around here to practice with. I’ll see who I can scare up for you. (For those interested, I’d flirt with **hampster** myself, but he’s been like a brother to me for about six years now, and flirting with him just feels WRONG!!!) > [@](#): > > _When imthjckaz came in, I was sure he was an old pro, because he said_ > \*\*Hi there Professor. > Does this Academy have a dodge ball team? > > And, are you really a Professor? > > I’d like you to show me your…er…credentials, please.\*\* Well, darlin’, I don’t think most of the ladies are looking for _dodge_ ball… but I’m sure if you look around, you might be able to find someone to play with. 😉 And as for me being a Professor… why don’t you meet me after class? My credentials are on the wall of my office. I’ll be happy to show you anything that it will take to convince you. > [@](#): > > _ProjectOmega was next through the door with:_ > **"Date me or I’ll cut you" always seems to work for me.** For some, maybe. But others will just get you a visit from the nice officers. You may want to work on something a little more subtle. > [@](#): > > _Quickly, cherry followed with:_ > **is this like the learning annex? I would very much like to learn how to flirt … will battering eyelashes work?** This is definitely like the learning annex. I prefer teaching my demonstration, and practice with partners. And I’ve found that batting eyelashes almost ALWAYS works. > [@](#): > > _Then the man that’s to blame for this walked in, Airman Doors, USAF:_ > **Told you, didn’t I, TP? 😉** Yeah, you told me. And I told you! Though I’m half tempted to drag you in here and get your help with the influx of students! I’m going to be typing all night at this rate! > [@](#): > > **So, how YOU doin’?** Oh, I’d be doing better with a shot or two of Grey Goose in me… 😉 > [@](#): > > _In walked one of my favorite former students, UncleBill:_ > \*\*(The person you are about to hear is NOT a paid actor, he is an actual graduate of this esteemed Flirt Academy). > > Hi, my name is UncleBill, and I was once just like you. Nervous, stumbling, spastic, drooling. Then I took the TruePisces Straight Dope Flirt Academy, and it changed my life. I am now a contributing member of society, can walk and chew gum, and I am a married man. And I married a DoperChick, too! You, too, can be a success story, all you have to do is take this course, do your homework and practice sessions, and, POW! > > [sub]Results may not be typical, your participation may or may not result in a DoperMarriage, tax, tag, and title extra. See dealer for more details.[/sub]\*\* _slips **UB** a hundred as she kisses him on the cheek_ Thanks, love. Up for a guest teaching position? 😉 > [@](#): > > _Then, Dr\_Paprika wandered in with one line:_ > **"So, shag me if I’m wrong, but is your real name Gretchen?"** Well… that might work in certain instances. But, for success on a broader scale, I’d probably leave shagging out until later in the conversation. 😉 That’s everyone for now. I’ll be back as new students arrive. (Though I’m always up for guest professors to step in and share their knowledge!) [sub]Oh, and **lel** and **Lockz** … are the two of you reading over my shoulder? I’ve been keeping another window open as I’ve been typing this up to make sure I don’t miss anyone, and the both of you have incorporated some of what I’ve said before I’ve even posted it! Wow!!! :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![xenothrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/7ab992/32.png) [@xenothrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenothrope)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/24 "2003-02-24T04:38:10Z")
I had always thought just honest open convorsation was the best way to get to know somone. Sexual energy and tension can be picked up fairly easily most of the time (it helps to NOT be horny yourself when your trying to read others) maybe I dont know what Im talking about… bah x-out ---
**Author:** ![Lockz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Lockz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockz)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/25 "2003-02-24T04:49:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > **God, if only I DID have the effect on men! 😃** (aside) 🆒 Perhaps this should be .sigged!(/aside) > [@](#): > > \*\* > [sub]Oh, and **lel** and **Lockz** … are the two of you reading over my shoulder? I’ve been keeping another window open as I’ve been typing this up to make sure I don’t miss anyone, and the both of you have incorporated some of what I’ve said before I’ve even posted it! Wow!!! :D[/sub] \*\* Well, Professor, I was just in the library reading up on your wonderful material from the last time you taught this course. You’ve got some good stuff, too! I just hope I get to put some of it to good use. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/26 "2003-02-24T04:59:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xenothrope \* > \*\*I had always thought just honest open convorsation was the best way to get to know somone. Sexual energy and tension can be picked up fairly easily most of the time (it helps to NOT be horny yourself when your trying to read others) > > maybe I dont know what Im talking about… > > bah > > x-out \*\* I wouldn’t say that. But flirting is also done for many reasons. When it’s done for finding that special someone, honest open conversation is the best way to start, definitely. But some people want to flirt JUST to flirt. I’m very happily engaged, but I love flirting. I do it to have fun, and I don’t hide this aspect from anyone when I flirt. Some people are looking for just that. Some people also have a hard time with who THEY are, or what they want to let out. Simple flirting sometimes helps with that. That’s just my two cents on the subject. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lockz \* > **(aside) Perhaps this should be .sigged!(/aside)** :o I just might have to do that. Of course, then I have to decide which of my current sigs get the axe… and THAT is a difficult decision! I’ll decide in the morning and add it then. > [@](#): > > **Well, Professor, I was just in the library reading up on your wonderful material from the last time you taught this course. You’ve got some good stuff, too! I just hope I get to put some of it to good use.** Again, :o. I’m glad you’re enjoying the past lessons. Of course, over two years, I’ve learned a new thing or two, so don’t walk away from the class too quickly. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/27 "2003-02-24T05:00:11Z")
I’d love to hang out, but I recently discovered that I’ve moved through Flirting 101 and am actively studying **[Stalking 101](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3034275#post3034275)** 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Bishamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3e96dc/32.png) [@Bishamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bishamon)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/28 "2003-02-24T05:03:13Z")
What’s the first thing to come out of my mouth when I meet someone? God, nothing, I hope. I fear that something will fly out, some spit, some stuck broccolli in the teeth, my tonsils. If nothing out of my mouth, maybe then there’s that one hair that’s just out of place, or I got booger juuuuust at the end of my nostril. How can I make that first move? If they don’t make it, it just isn’t going to get made. And I know enough to know that low of self-esteem sends women scampering away quicker than if I were gassy or flinging my tonsils at them. I will consider this class a triumph if I can actually start a conversation on my own. Any sympathy flirts out there? ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/29 "2003-02-24T05:03:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lockz \* > \*\*I think I can help you out, **lel** , being a DoperDude and all. > > Um, I really like your hair! > > :: Gets nervous, and looks for some place to hide :: \*\* Thank you! You don’t have to hide from me – come out of hiding and let’s chat! By the way, you have a nice smile. 🙂 And thank you, Professor **TruePisces** , for your kindly words on how we are incorporating your suggestions before you give them! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/30 "2003-02-24T05:13:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _The esteemed **TruePisces** said:_ > So just what is your second language, hmmm? The language of international… communication. _Gxi brakumas la mondon kun plena koro…_ 🙂 > [@](#): > > …we’ll have to start at the beginning once again. […] So, where would you like to start? How can I tell whether someone is flirting with me? Historically I’ve been the sort that needs to be hit over the head with a Nerf-bat before I notice things like this. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/31 "2003-02-24T05:16:01Z")
…and I hope that the reason I haven’t noticed any flirting in my direction is _not_ that there’s been none… ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/32 "2003-02-24T14:24:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by moi \* > \*\*I’d love to hang out, but I recently discovered that I’ve moved through Flirting 101 and am actively studying **[Stalking 101](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3034275#post3034275)** 😕 \*\* Stalking, huh? That class isn’t supposed to be until next semester! 😉 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bishamon \* > \*\*What’s the first thing to come out of my mouth when I meet someone? God, nothing, I hope. I fear that something will fly out, some spit, some stuck broccolli in the teeth, my tonsils. If nothing out of my mouth, maybe then there’s that one hair that’s just out of place, or I got booger juuuuust at the end of my nostril. How can I make that first move? If they don’t make it, it just isn’t going to get made. And I know enough to know that low of self-esteem sends women scampering away quicker than if I were gassy or flinging my tonsils at them. I will consider this class a triumph if I can actually start a conversation on my own. > > Any sympathy flirts out there?\*\* As I’ve been saying to everyone else, the best way to get over those fears, and the best way to build up your self esteem, is to practice. Believe it or not, I used to have a VERY difficult time being the first to start a conversation… and, unless I am in a comfortable situation… like at a Fest or something… I still don’t find it easy to talk first. But flirting online has helped bring up my self-esteem offline as well. That said, how YOU doin’? 😉 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lel \* > **And thank you, Professor TruePisces, for your kindly words on how we are incorporating your suggestions before you give them!** I’m just glad that my teaching is coming through! 😉 [quote] \*Originally posted by Sunspace \* \*\*The language of international… communication. _Gxi brakumas la mondon kun plena koro… 🙂_ Mmmmm… sure makes THIS woman melt. 😉 > [@](#): > > **How can I tell whether someone is flirting with me? Historically I’ve been the sort that needs to be hit over the head with a Nerf-bat before I notice things like this.** This really _is_ the hardest part of flirting. Because what may be flirting with some may not be with others. Lets try starting with the more blatant, and work out way down to the more subtle. (And, since practice is ALWAYS the best way…) How YOU doin’? 😉 > [@](#): > > **…and I hope that the reason I haven’t noticed any flirting in my direction is not that there’s been none…** Oh, I SERIOUSly doubt that that’s the problem. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e19adc/32.png) [@Kix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kix)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/33 "2003-02-24T14:36:14Z")
Some tips: Be secure, a woman loves a man that does not hesitate, is straight to the point and FUNNY (no macho attitude). Look into her eyes when you talk to her and when spoken to and be looking away when she is not talking or there is someone else there. (pretend her voice is a magnet for your eyes) Make cassual peeks at her lips when she talks … LISTEN TO HER, and follow the conversation, if you are a “quiet” kind of people let her do the talking, if you are the “conversation guy” try to keep downthe interruptions and always follow her conversation, if she is interested she will make it easier for you to “make plans” etc… If she is a total stranger come up with a question or something or a comment about something controversial (but not political or religious) something casual like… “Havent you noticed that the bigger the Tennis shoes the lousiest the athlete!” just when someone with big tennis goes walking by… thats why I am buying the new addidas model… called Jordan´s hero… get the point? say something with a twist… be a little confused and misterious (just like Hugh Grant in hs movies), women seem to love this kind of "lost, interesting and fun type of guy… ---
**Author:** ![Toffe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@Toffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toffe)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/34 "2003-02-24T14:47:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*That’s never a bad start, but you can tell your nervousness. First and foremost, you need to believe that your flirting is going to work. Whether it gets you a date or not really doesn’t matter as much as the practice of flirting does. The only thing I’d suggest changing is the awkward pause. Otherwise, it’s a fine start. > > I’m TruePisces, and I’m glad to meet, Christoffer. > \*\* 🙂 You know, I think I’ve been working too hard - once you start imagining pink fluffy turtles zooming around your room, you must be kinda stressed… so, what do you do around here? _gremlins start plotting to mess with Toffe’s luck_ ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/35 "2003-02-24T15:05:24Z")
:: excessive eyeing / ogling / staring :: :: long awkward pause (anywhere from a few minutes to a few years!) :: Um… hi… _(In a heavy flat monotone, to control a high anxiety level)_ We. met. yesterday. at. the. Philly. Fest. and. you. talked. about. reopening. the. flirt. academy. I. don’t. know. what. flirting. is. Where. do. I. sign. up. for. Flirting. 101? _(And that, Professor, is one of my **better** openings, in that I actually say something!)_ ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/36 "2003-02-24T18:33:00Z")
Is it too late to add this class? I am absolutely clueless when it comes to flirting/ being flirted at. Maybe there’s a remedial course? ---
**Author:** ![TeleTronOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4af34b/32.png) [@TeleTronOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeleTronOne)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/37 "2003-02-24T18:42:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cherry \* > \*\*is this like the learning annex? I would very much like to learn how to flirt … will battering eyelashes work? \*\* Ouch! Yours or someone else’s? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/38 "2003-02-24T19:03:08Z")
Dear Prof, A **DoperChick** (mad props to successful graduate **UncleBill** for the name) has already lost an unfortunate coin toss and has agreed to marry me. So, although I don’t feel that I need to flirt any more ('cause I’m not sure she won’t come in and catch me practicing), I would like to audit the class for enjoyment’s sake. I promise I won’t cause many interruptions, although you may look over and see that I’m throwing kissy faces at the women I’m hoping are wild and wanton. Or maybe just wild with wonton soup. That’s good stuff, that is. Anyway, if you don’t mind, I’ll just pull up a chair here in the back, and get ready to pucker up… ---
**Author:** ![Bishamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3e96dc/32.png) [@Bishamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bishamon)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/39 "2003-02-24T19:08:45Z")
How am I doin’? Cold actually. Would you mind if I sat a little closer to warm up? 😉 Besides, it’s _so_ noisy in here and it’s hard to hear you over all of the racket. And I must say that was one fine Joey impersonation. Do you do others? (how’s that?) ---
**Author:** ![Texican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@Texican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Texican)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035/40 "2003-02-24T19:10:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lockz \* > \*\*:: walks into room :: > > :: turns to look at \*\* TruePisces \*\* :: > > Hey, ba ---- > > :: walks into wall, falls down :: > > Hmm, this isn’t good. Do you have any tips to help me out? \*\* Actually, what you describe is about what an old friend of mine would do to start a conversation with a girl he wanted to meet. Several times he and I (at college) would be walking along and see two attractive girls coming towards us. He would give them a goofy grin, and about the time they drew even with us he would trip over his own feet and go sprawling to the ground. Naturally they stopped. He would pop to his feet, stick out his hand and say “hi, my names \_\_\_\_\_, whats yours?” We met a lot of girls that way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-flirt-academy/157035.md?page=3)