# The Straight Dope House - The Duplex

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 18, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836 "2001-08-18T00:30:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/81 "2001-08-20T21:49:06Z")

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**Abby**?? I’m totally overdressed in layers, but then it does get cold up there in the balloon. HURRY UP and get changed, it’s a lovely day for a ride. 😃

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**Author:** ![DynoSaur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DynoSaur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DynoSaur)\
**Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/82 "2001-08-20T22:41:48Z")

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**celestina** , dear, I’m still waiting for my lessons…

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/83 "2001-08-20T23:00:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \*  
> \*\ ***Abby**?? I’m totally overdressed in layers, but then it does get cold up there in the balloon. HURRY UP and get changed, it’s a lovely day for a ride. 😃 \*\*

A balloon ride sounds delightful. I suppose I could dress, but what’s wrong with these borrowed grey sweats and the layer underneath? Is a balloon ride a ball gown and pearls kind of thing?

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/84 "2001-08-20T23:09:17Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zappo \*  
> Now that we’re aloft, I open the champagne and pour us each a glass. We toast the beautiful evening and enjoy a midnight supper as we float along wherever the evening winds take us.

**Toon’s** I think they already left. What now?

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/85 "2001-08-21T00:09:05Z")

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Suddenly a weak voice comes from the **Velveteen Rub** room …

[sub] … can someone let me out of these handcuffs???..[/sub]

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/86 "2001-08-21T00:15:56Z")

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Yanno, I wondered what that key on **Hardygrrl’s** ankle bracelet unlocked. Poor **Euty** shall I get you an ice pack for that redness and swelling around your wrists?

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/87 "2001-08-21T00:22:14Z")

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**screech-owl** strolls out to the small garden in the back, where the air is redolent with gardenias and honeysuckle, and the day birds are just settling down for the evening. Her hair is tied with a thin velvet ribbon, and she wears a long dark skirt and an off-the-shoulder peasant blouse (a light teal that brings out the bronze in her eyes).

Quietly but deftly she tunes the harp she brought with her, making sure that each string is in perfect harmony with the others. That completed, she begins strumming out folk tunes, most of them made up on the spot. Instrumental only, for words would ruin the peaceful atmosphere.

And a whippoorwill harmonizes in with a descant, as a barred owl drones a bass line.

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/88 "2001-08-21T00:45:10Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by AbbySthrnAccent \*  
> > My flirt muscle is seriously atrophied …
> 
> Maybe it just needs a generous massage?

Delivers icepack for **Euty’s** wrists and chuckles lightly while saying, so much for generous massages huh, big guy?

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Eutychus55_
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > _Originally posted by hardygrrl_  
> > Euty’s naked?
> 
> Yes, and I gotta tell you, it’s damn cold in here too! Who the hell’s playing with the thermostat?

Still chilly **Euty?** ::: Grinning mischeviously while slowly reaching for the thermostat:::

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**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/89 "2001-08-21T01:08:17Z")

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[sub](I’ve tried Viennese, but prefer the smooth and graceful gliding with a gentle “rise and fall” of the Americanized version.)[/sub]

\<Resplendent in his tuxedo and top hat, **ts** once again make his entrance.\>

\<Reaching the lovely **celestina** , **ts** wraps his arm around her, cupping her shoulder blade and focusing a tender smile on her upturned face. Softly, the music begins and with a gentle lean …

_…they’re gliding over the mirror-like hardwood floor._

Arcing box-turns lead to push-thru arch-turns, our bodies ebbing and flowing with the lilting tempo, our eyes locking and releasing while smiles grow larger and larger on our faces.

Each turn, starting with your supple and firm upper body and snapping the lovely curve of your hips around, sharp and crisp, brings you back to the support of my arms.

A promenade to the bar and we grab a waiting flute of _J_, a delightful champagne with a wonderful nose.

Your cheeks rosy and eyes smiling, we stroll back to the middle of the floor and as a Lindy breaks out, we cuddle, my steps in the shadow of yours, back and forth, around and around. I close my eyes as the scent of your hair fills my senses.

You drift from me, hands sliding smoothly from mine. Turning as the music draws to a close once again…  
\< **ts** whispers some enchantment breathlessly into her ear and saunters to the door again. With a wistful backward glance, he is gone.\>

“Never before have a man and woman danced publicly in a virtual embrace such as this.”

[sub]You’re next, hardy.[/sub]

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**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/90 "2001-08-21T02:07:19Z")

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I’m here, **thinksnow** …just had to get dressed again.

Damn **Euty** had to undo all the snaps on the merry widow. so it took awhile.  
Sweep me off my feet…

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**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/91 "2001-08-21T02:09:51Z")

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And then teach me how to code. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/92 "2001-08-21T10:50:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by celestina \*  
> \*\* While Sophie and Zappho go for a balloon ride, celestina finds Cartooniverse and Abby on the front porch, and much to her surprise Cartooniverse has laid out quite a spread for dinner. He’s provided Beluga caviar; jumbo shrimp; pate; cold salmon; Brie and other assorted cheeses; fresh fruits and vegetables; and to wash it all down, a few magnums of Krug Brut Champagne Collection 1964. YUM. celestina is beside herself, she’s so excited at the prospect of the delectable feast in front of her. She gives Cartooniverse a bear hug, and then wastes no time in fixing herself a plate of caviar and shrimp. Abby and Cartooniverse also help themselves to the food, and Cartooniverse pours himself and the ladies glasses of champagne. \*\*

MUCH TO HER SURPRISE??? I’m the freakin’ Julia Child around here, and you’re surprised? Feh. Just wait till you see what I can do with celery and peanut butter !!!

As long as you’re giving out bear hugs, you’d best give one to **Abby** as well. This is the Straight Dope House- we’re a state certified **gender non-specific hug zone**. Men hug Men. Women hug Women. Mods hug Livestock. We all love each other 😃

\<burp\> **Abby**? Can I have a hug? 😉

Cartooniverse

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**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/93 "2001-08-21T13:09:48Z")

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Wandering through the moonlight, tracking the floating balloon holding an amorous couple, **Barbarian** strides onto the verandah of this majestic manse.

He’s greeted by the sight of **phouka** hurriedly sketching an outline of his impressive form, and agrees to pose for a painting later.  
“How about if I hold **jadailey** over one shoulder, while holding my axe in a menacing manner? But for now, there seems to be dancing going on.” In fact, **hardygrrl** seems to be waiting for a partner. Don’t bother restrapping yourself into that harness. I prefer to dance the Lindy, or a Mambo, and both need you to be \<ahem\> flexible.

:spins **hardygrrl** into the basic circle, then a pendulum charleston:

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**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/94 "2001-08-21T14:02:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sophie \*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > Ella Fitzgerald sounds fine to me. And then perhaps some of Mr. Sinatra’s musical stylings? “Fly Me to The Moon” seems appropriate here.
> 
> How could I have overlooked such an obviously perfect musical selection? Ah, thank you for remembering the fabulous Mr. Sinatra.

You’re welcome. We aim to please, you know. . .

> [@](#):
>
> The lights of cities come and go beneath us. The moon is moving across the sky too quickly, and I fear this night will end before I’ve had a chance to see the Statue of Liberty from the balloon. Surely we will make it there by sunrise…

If you want to see the Statue of Liberty, I’ll not have you disappointed. Of course we’ll make it before sunrise. Besides, who says the night has to end?

> [@](#):
>
> “ **Zap** , sweetie,” says I, “what does that halo around the moon mean? It’s big enough to hold the entire Straight Dope Compound!”

It means the moon is jealous, my dear. He knows that he can’t compete with the spark in your eyes and the glow of your skin but he’s trying to get attention just the same.

> [@](#):
>
> I look over and catch my companion’s profile against the enormous moon. I sigh.
> 
> “Who gives a damn? I think we should just travel from now on, anyway,” I say. “What with my inheritance and your good looks, we could rule the world one day!”

I’ll go anywhere with you! Let’s do it. Of course, we should return to the house one day soon. Before I left, I heard **Abby** say something about wanting to go for a baloon ride sometime.

When we get back, we’ll take one of my Cadillac convertibles and see the country. Ever since I met you I’ve been picturing you in a convertible on Decatur Street on a sultry New Orleans night, with your hair dancing in the breeze as the sounds of a band in Jackson Square drift along on the evening air. . .

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**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/95 "2001-08-21T14:29:03Z")

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Yikes! We’re being awfully antisocial up here, aren’t we, **Zappo**? We should probably return the balloon to the Duplex so that **Abby** and **Cartooniverse** can have a go.

_singing to myself_ I get to go to New Orleans, neener neener nener, I get to eat some crawfish, neener neener neener…

So, can we take the baby blue convertible? How many people can we fit into this thing, anyway? And most importantly, must we drive through Mississippi to get there? That drive has to be one of the most boring drives I’ve ever made, but then, I’ve never made the trip so late at night and in such good company.  
Perhaps we could just swing by the Statue of Liberty before we return? This should only take a minute, I promise.

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/96 "2001-08-21T14:39:58Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> …Mods hug Livestock. We all love each other…

screech-owl puts away the harp and goes to find the video camera.

“Blackmail” is such an _awful_ word. How about ‘peace-offering’?

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**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/97 "2001-08-21T14:59:25Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sophie \*  
> \*\*Yikes! We’re being awfully antisocial up here, aren’t we, **Zappo**? We should probably return the balloon to the Duplex so that **Abby** and **Cartooniverse** can have a go.
> 
> _singing to myself_ I get to go to New Orleans, neener neener nener, I get to eat some crawfish, neener neener neener…
> 
> So, can we take the baby blue convertible? How many people can we fit into this thing, anyway? And most importantly, must we drive through Mississippi to get there? That drive has to be one of the most boring drives I’ve ever made, but then, I’ve never made the trip so late at night and in such good company.  
> Perhaps we could just swing by the Statue of Liberty before we return? This should only take a minute, I promise. \*\*

\< **Zappo** tacks northeast, into the rising sun over northeastern PA and a smidge of NJ toward NYC\>

Look, there she is. . .makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it? I have to say, the dawn coming up over her crown looks beautiful. It’s just a shame we have to go back.

Of course we can take the baby blue convertible. Which one, the '66 Eldorado with the white leather seats or the '59 with the biscuit-colored interior? Your choice; either one will seat six comfortably with luggage room to spare. Don’t forget a scarf for your hair; it can get breezy.

And we needn’t drive through Mississippi to get there. I agree with you. It’s boring. But then again, last time I made the trip I was going solo. I have a feeling the ride will be more fun this time. 🙂 But hey, we’re on our own time here. . .we can do what we want!

\< **Zappo** whips out his trusty cell phone, makes hotel reservations and sets up dinner at Emeril’s Delmonico’s, breakfast at Brennan’s and reserves another table at The Gumbo Shop for when **Sophie** feels like crawfish\>

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**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/98 "2001-08-21T15:59:38Z")

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Oh, **Zappo** , can I come, too? Please? I’ve never been to Nawlins. I really wanna go. I’ll even be the designated driver. Please? (insert Bambi eyes here)  
Besides which, I’m gettin’ kinda tired of **Cartooniverse** ’s lavish spreads. My butt is growing away from zoftig and that’s not a good thing.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/99 "2001-08-21T16:14:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*Barbarian \*\*  
> In fact, **hardygrrl** seems to be waiting for a partner. Don’t bother restrapping yourself into that harness. I prefer to dance the Lindy, or a Mambo, and both need you to be \<ahem\> flexible.
> 
> :spins **hardygrrl** into the basic circle, then a pendulum charleston:

\< **TS** scrambles into the room, wearing his boots, tight-fitting Levis, nice mother-of-pearl snap shirt and a white Resistol hat\>

_Damn, I was all set to do some two-step and line dancing…_

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/100 "2001-08-21T16:39:05Z")

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Hot _damn_, **thinksnow** , I’m your girl for two-steppin! Yee-haw! Lemme just change into my kickers. Does this mean that when you finally come skiing, I can take you to the Ranchman’s?

( **Ginger** notes that she also drools over cowboys)

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