# The Straight Dope House - The Duplex

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 18, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836 "2001-08-18T00:30:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/101 "2001-08-21T16:49:20Z")

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**thinksnow** , don’t change. I love a man in boots and a hat.

Let’s all jump in the car. **Ginger** , are you coming? The more, the merrier.

But I call SHOTGUN.

**Zappo** , can we take the '66? What a gentleman for suggesting that I cover my hair for this ride. Did you make hotel reservations for everyone, or do you think the others plan on sleeping tonight?

I’ll just sit here in the car, check my lipstick and wait for everyone else.

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**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/102 "2001-08-21T16:50:19Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \*  
> \*\*Oh, **Zappo** , can I come, too? Please? I’ve never been to Nawlins. I really wanna go. I’ll even be the designated driver. Please? (insert Bambi eyes here)  
> Besides which, I’m gettin’ kinda tired of **Cartooniverse** ’s lavish spreads. My butt is growing away from zoftig and that’s not a good thing. \*\*

Oh crap, not Bambi eyes! I can’t resist redheads with Bambi eyes. . .

Well, if you’re not too busy doing the two-step it’s OK with me as long as it’s OK with **Sophie**. There’s plenty of me to go around, ladies. . .just picture John Candy without the money.

Livin’ large and lovin’ life,

Johnny Avocado (aka Zappo)

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**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/103 "2001-08-21T16:58:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sophie \*  
> \*\ ***thinksnow** , don’t change. I love a man in boots and a hat.
> 
> Let’s all jump in the car. **Ginger** , are you coming? The more, the merrier.
> 
> But I call SHOTGUN.
> 
> **Zappo** , can we take the '66? What a gentleman for suggesting that I cover my hair for this ride. Did you make hotel reservations for everyone, or do you think the others plan on sleeping tonight?
> 
> I’ll just sit here in the car, check my lipstick and wait for everyone else. \*\*

\< **Zappo** rushes upstairs to don his Tony Lama boots and a Stetson; after realizing the dude in the mirror looks like John Candy in “Wagons East” he quickly changes into Dockers, bucks and a polo shirt\>

You bet we can take the '66. And of course you have shotgun. Sorry, **Ginger**. But look on the bright side. There’s plenty of room back there for **thinksnow** even if he wants to wear his hat. Although I would suggest he hold onto it tightly.

Don’t worry about the hotel. The manager’s a friend of mine and he’ll have rooms for everyone. I’m sure I can change the dinner reservations, too; Emeril owes me one.

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**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/104 "2001-08-21T17:01:07Z")

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I dunno what you had in mind, **Zappo** , but I just want me some crawfish an’ a tour of the Garden District. **Sophie** can have you all to herself while I’m sweating like a tourist.  
‘Sides which, if I’m goin’ to Louisiana, I’m gonna find me a man with an accent. _Grrrowllll…_

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**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/105 "2001-08-21T17:10:19Z")

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I have a New England accent. Ironically, I’m from Texas.

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**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/106 "2001-08-21T17:38:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \*  
> \*\*I dunno what you had in mind, **Zappo** , but I just want me some crawfish an’ a tour of the Garden District. **Sophie** can have you all to herself while I’m sweating like a tourist.  
> ‘Sides which, if I’m goin’ to Louisiana, I’m gonna find me a man with an accent. _Grrrowllll…_ \*\*

Hey, no problem. We can do that. May I suggest a tour of the Garden District by streetcar? It’s the only way to travel. Other than in a Cadillac, of course.

There are guidebooks and a couple of city maps on the floor behind my seat, **Ginger**. Maybe we can pass the time on the road by planning an itinerary.

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**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/107 "2001-08-21T17:56:21Z")

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* * *

thinksnow said:  
The Waltz  
(I’ve tried Viennese, but prefer the smooth and graceful gliding with a gentle “rise and fall” of the Americanized version.)

\<Resplendent in his tuxedo and top hat, ts once again make his entrance.\>

\<Reaching the lovely celestina, ts wraps his arm around her, cupping her shoulder blade and focusing a tender smile on her upturned face. Softly, the music begins and with a gentle lean …

…they’re gliding over the mirror-like hardwood floor.

Arcing box-turns lead to push-thru arch-turns, our bodies ebbing and flowing with the lilting tempo, our eyes locking and releasing while smiles grow larger and larger on our faces.

Each turn, starting with your supple and firm upper body and snapping the lovely curve of your hips around, sharp and crisp, brings you back to the support of my arms.

A promenade to the bar and we grab a waiting flute of J, a delightful champagne with a wonderful nose.

Your cheeks rosy and eyes smiling, we stroll back to the middle of the floor and as a Lindy breaks out, we cuddle, my steps in the shadow of yours, back and forth, around and around. I close my eyes as the scent of your hair fills my senses.

You drift from me, hands sliding smoothly from mine. Turning as the music draws to a close once again…  
\<ts whispers some enchantment breathlessly into her ear and saunters to the door again. With a wistful backward glance, he is gone.\>

“Never before have a man and woman danced publicly in a virtual embrace such as this.”

* * *

celestina ends the dance with thinksnow, and she’s GRINNIN’ from ear to ear. Damn! That was outstanding! I was seriously beginning to lament the fact that I couldn’t find a dance virtual partner. 🙂 thinksnow, you described that SO perfectly. If I ever meet you IRL, WE ABSOLUTELY MUST WALTZ. You chose exactly the waltz that I wanted to do and described it to a T. I don’t care as much for the Viennese because it’s too dizzying and fast. I love the slower elegance of waltz. It’s much more difficult than the Viennese because it requires much more control of the body, and because it goes slower, one must do the steps perfectly. I’ll be looking to virtually dance with you again. You wouldn’t perhaps know cha-cha or rumba?

* * *

Cartooniverse said:  
"MUCH TO HER SURPRISE??? I’m the freakin’ Julia Child around here, and you’re surprised? Feh. Just wait till you see what I can do with celery and peanut butter !!!

As long as you’re giving out bear hugs, you’d best give one to Abby as well. This is the Straight Dope House- we’re a state certified gender non-specific hug zone. Men hug Men. Women hug Women. Mods hug Livestock. We all love each other"

* * *

Sorry, Cartooniverse. I know you can cook BETTER than Julia Child. I was just so overcome at your providing such a lavish spread. As far as giving out bear hugs, I am an equal opportunity hugger. I LOVE giving virtual and IRL hugs, but I have to be careful because some Dopers don’t care to be virtually hugged. Here’s one for Abby, if she wants it, though I think she’s rather occupied “playing” with poor handcuffed Euty [giggle]. {{{{{Abby}}}}} 🙂

Y’all have fun riding around in that balloon, now. Y’hear? 😉 And when you get back down to earth, I’d love to see just what you can do with peanut butter and celery. 🙂

* * *

Dynosaur said:  
“celestina, dear, I’m still waiting for my lessons…”

* * *

Oh dear, Dynosaur. I’m so sorry. I just had to cool myself off from that dance I just had with thinksnow.

celestina beckons to Dynosaur, who comes over to the corner of the room for some instruction in the basic steps of swing and waltz.

“Now first, Sweetie, put your hands on me here and here . . .” After awhile, Dynosaur is dancing like a pro, and celestina and Dynosaur just have a ball dancing the night away. . .

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**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/108 "2001-08-21T18:15:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> You wouldn’t perhaps know cha-cha or rumba?

Once, years ago, I knew the rumba. Cha-cha as well, though it’s been a while, too. I do enjoy the cha-cha, though the tango is one of my favorites. (FTR: I’m just starting to learn two-step, not that it’s hard, just that I’ve only done it once.)

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**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/109 "2001-08-21T18:26:32Z")

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Then you simply _must_ come to my neck of the woods, **thinksnow**.

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**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/110 "2001-08-21T23:24:07Z")

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Don’t forget, **thinksnow** , you still owe me a dance.

Have your fun with **Ginger** and once you’re done with the cowboy look, come find me.

::Dances with Barbarian::

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**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/111 "2001-08-22T09:50:55Z")

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\<looks around, spots all the cowboy gear\>  
\<hears talk of dancing cha-cha\>

Thanks for the dance **hardy** , but some **celestina** is asking for a cha cha. And I haven’t been here long enough to play favourites yet. Besides, I see **Euty** in the corner panting for a second round in the massage room 🙂

Hey band! Time to play _Where have all the Cowboys gone_ by Paula Cole.  
\<quickstep cha cha cha, cha cha cha, quickstep, spins around **Celestina** , goes into shadow steps while letting her get a good look at my shoulders from the rear\>

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**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/112 "2001-08-22T17:16:41Z")

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Ooohh, Barbarian! You’re a man after my dancin’ heart! 😃 Cha-Cha is my absolute favoritest dance to do. Thank you very much for the cha-cha. I very much look forward to virtually dancin’ with you again, Sweetie. And those virtual shoulders of yours are quite nice to look at and put my virtual hands on too. 😉

Okay, I’ve had a waltz, a lindy hop, and a cha-cha. [giggle] Anyone care to samba, merengue, salsa, or tango?

Oh Sophie, Zappo, & company, your road trip sounds like fun. Alas, I can’t join you, even if there was room in your virtual car. 🙂 I’ve got to stay here and get my fill of virtual dancing. Let me know how Emeril’s restaurant is. I think I walked by it the last time I was there, but I didn’t get a chance to go in.

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**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/113 "2001-08-22T18:18:12Z")

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**Barbarian** , You can’t two step to Paula Cole! Shame on you!

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**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/114 "2001-08-22T18:26:08Z")

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I’ve got the taste of crawfish on my mind…c’mon you guys!

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**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/115 "2001-08-22T21:47:23Z")

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Aw Yeah… and gimme some Zydeco to listen to.

'Course, I believe I’ll melt in New Orleans in late August. Can I hold off and go in winter? Or, like, for Mardi Gras? I’ll be really good - can I go to Comus? I will even keep my top on, if need be.

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**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\
**Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/116 "2001-08-22T21:57:24Z")

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(stumbling back to bedroom, from bathroom, at 2 a.m.)  
(rattling doorknob)  
_Damn!_  
(pounding on doorknob)  
_Hey! Who locked the damn door? Let me in!!_ (rattling and pounding continues. Several Dopers in bathrobes come out another door. C K Dexter Haven speaks.)  
_What’s the matter with you??_  
me: _I can’t get my door open!_ (other Dopers laugh.)  
(Saint Zero produces a key. I take it and unlock door, with a sour facial expression. Saint Zero speaks.)  
_Man, dougie, can’t you take a joke?_  
me (smirking): _I’ll tell you what. I’ll lock YOU out tomorrow night at 2 a.m., and we’ll SEE who can take a joke!_  
(I give him a sour grimace and a pat on the head, and go into my room. He and the other Dopers laugh a bit, then go back to their rooms.)

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**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/117 "2001-08-23T10:31:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \*  
> \*\ ***Barbarian** , You can’t two step to Paula Cole! Shame on you! \*\*

Who’s two-steppin’? **celestina** and I were dancing a cha-cha to that song, because it actually has the perfect tempo.

\<turns to **celestina** \> Merci ma chere, but I’m getting thirsty, and I hear **Balance** has some beer fermenting downstairs. Hopefully the teleporters are working right and the nutbrown ale that I was making at home has been delivered on time.

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/118 "2001-08-23T10:40:22Z")

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Ya know, I agree, seems to me that good ole **Abby** IS pretty fascinated with **Euty** ’s little predicament. But then what do I know? I even had the laptop WITH me, and had so little time to play here whilst just in Atlanta that I missed the balllooning, darn it. Thank you for sending it back, and **Abby** of course you can stay in the sweats and thick sweatshirt you borrowed from me 😃

**Ginger** , I think thou doth protest too much. If you enjoy the food I prepare, then there is no higher compliment than to say that you’re glorying in being zoftig.

I’m off to Washington D.C. for a few days. Rehearsing tomorrow night, shooting Saturday night. I’ve no clue when my call time is on Saturday, but howzabout a Doper breakfast?? I’m gonna post back to MPSIMS and see what I can get going there. Nothing like food and great Dopers. 😃

\<-------hungry, can you tell?  
Cartooniverse

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/119 "2001-08-23T13:58:46Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \*  
> \*\*Aw Yeah… and gimme some Zydeco to listen to.
> 
> 'Course, I believe I’ll melt in New Orleans in late August. Can I hold off and go in winter? Or, like, for Mardi Gras? I’ll be really good - can I go to Comus? I will even keep my top on, if need be. \*\*

Well damn **Ginger** , why dintcha say you wanted some zydeco?

\<pops Louis Prima out of the hidden CD player\>

The bag of CD’s is next to you on the back seat, cher. Hand somethin’ up.

You might melt in NOLA in late August, but that’s why all the bars and restaurants serve nice frosty frozen drinks in go-cups. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be able to stay cool. 😃 😃 😃

Cruisin’ the highways of my mind,

Zappo

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house-the-duplex/76836/120 "2001-08-23T15:38:58Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \*  
> Ya know, I agree, seems to me that good ole **Abby** IS pretty fascinated with **Euty** ’s little predicament. But then what do I know?

Apparently, not much! 😛 I left **Euty** handcuffed in the Velveteen Rub room and turned down the air conditioning. As far as I know the key to the cuff’s is on **Hardygrrl’s** ankle bracelet. Poor guy’s been stranded for days.

As for me, I must have caught a cold on the porch. I’ve come down with a miserable case of bronchitis and I’ve been curled up in a big ole four poster bed with huge down pillows, duvet, two boxes of tissues, and for when I can hold my eyes open my book. Right now, robitussin with codiene is my best friend.

A

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