# The Straight Dope House **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903 "2001-08-12T13:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/1 "2001-08-12T13:37:40Z")
I envision a rather sprawling mansion. Built in the late 1890’s. Re-wired with 100% fiber optics. Coal stove ( which is naturally the domain of our dear beloved **Anthracite** ). Fireplaces EVERYWHERE. Velvet poofs in the sitting room. Lace doilies. Oak. Why, there’s **Ukelele Ike** out on the porch, enjoying a pipe of his finest with **Lux Fiat** and **Magdalene**. Over in the cornfields we find **TubaDiva** sitting with her solar-powered laptop and a tall glass of unsweet tea. Hey, look who’se hiding in the barn, it’s gotta be **Sua Sponte** and **Geobabe**. Hey you two ! Stop looking for the needle in that haystack, and get back on task. You’re SUPPOSED to be hooking up the T-3 Lines to the Gazebo!! Down in the basement, **Cartooniverse** is whiling away the hours in the well-vented darkroom, happily printing up new photos of Dopers for the “People of the SD” web page. Down the back hallway is the kitchen, where **Biggirl, TwistofFate, Coldfire, Vix, CrankyAsAnOldMan and Bildo** are playing hearts with rotating partners while \*\* Cajun\*\* keeps the beers and jalapeno poppers goin’. Just my version of heaven. Who else is in the house, and what else are they doing? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/2 "2001-08-12T13:58:05Z")
Well, **Bluesman** is in the hammock between two ancient oaks on the sprawling front lawn, and I’m on the porch, playing with the new litter of kittens. (There _are_ cats in this house, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/3 "2001-08-12T14:00:52Z")
Aww . . . you flatter me, **Cartooniverse**. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/4 "2001-08-12T17:53:35Z")
Even an Internet house needs a library. I’ll be the librarian. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/5 "2001-08-12T19:25:31Z")
And **rjk** will be in the stacks of that library, complaining to **furryman** about the shortage of cookbooks. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/6 "2001-08-12T20:27:46Z")
I’ll be setting up the, er… playroom. After that I’ll be in the gameroom making characters ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/7 "2001-08-12T20:30:43Z")
[sub]Can you imagine how many terminals this place gotta have?[/sub] I’ll be at one of them, compiling my next book, or complaining when the %!!!%^^ T1 line goes down when Baltimore burns down. Otherwise, I’ll be out making a keg run for Guiness. Gotta have a beer cellar for all the kegs. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/8 "2001-08-12T20:35:44Z")
And **screech-owl** is happily dusting all the books in the library. Of course not much work gets done, since there are some many wonderful volumes to peruse, explore and devour. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/9 "2001-08-12T20:37:28Z")
I’m in the lab, building…something…in between assembling more workstations for people. No, it’s not a giant roach. Let’s not be nosy, bub. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/10 "2001-08-12T20:38:11Z")
I’ll take care of fertilizing the garden… with LLAMA BEANS OF DEATH!!! HAAAA HA HA HA HA! Ooop, let the inside voice out again. Dangit. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/11 "2001-08-12T22:55:00Z")
Off in the middle of the nearby forest, next to a babbling brook with a small waterfall, sits my two-room log house. One main room, with fireplace, rug, couches, bed, tables, etc, and the other room is for… the weapons. Visitors welcome, day or night. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/12 "2001-08-12T22:59:39Z")
And **Crunchy Frog** is chained to a tree in the back yard. He’s only allowed indoors anymore during extreme weather conditions ever since “the incident.” Occasionally another Doper will venture back to see how he’s doing, feed him and refill the waterbowl. He’s pretty happy though, as long as he has his PS2, TV, and extension cords. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/13 "2001-08-12T23:03:32Z")
No pool? Screw this, I’m outta here! ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/14 "2001-08-12T23:25:09Z")
Where’s the dungeon? Oh… there it is behind the west wings bookcase. Cool. Who wants to be next on the rack? ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/15 "2001-08-12T23:27:22Z")
There’s **hardygrrl** in the barn, preparing to do a Swanton Bomb from the rafter onto the haypile. She’s been warned not to try this, but since no one’s looking (well, except **Crunchy Frog** , and no one believes what he says anyway), she’s going for it. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/16 "2001-08-12T23:34:02Z")
In a pensive mood, I head for the refrigerator where I’ve hidden three chocolate covered strawberries in a dark resealable container labeled radioactive brussel sprouts 6/15/2001. Gathering my strawberries and a glass of water, I go curl up in a huge reading chair and get started on the next book to prepare for the next book discussion group gathering. Abby ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/17 "2001-08-12T23:50:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pesch \* > \*\*Otherwise, I’ll be out making a keg run for Guiness. Gotta have a beer cellar for all the kegs. \*\* **jadailey** will wander from terminal to terminal, making sure everyone is aware that there are two Ns in Guinness. And generally causing a nuisance of herself as she fixes everyone’s posts to fit her own personal writing style. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/18 "2001-08-13T00:36:05Z")
I know I _won’t_ be working in the kitchen or dining room…I think I’ll just be sitting in my room, or the living room, or perhaps the library, reading the boards, or a book, or watching a bit of TV. Just generally being lazy and realxing. Occasionally, I’ll wander into the labs to mix random chemicals and see what happens, or to dissect something, then back to being lazy. Maybe I’ll take a drink or three from the Guinness keg, who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/19 "2001-08-13T00:42:28Z")
Thanks for the reminder. Don’t mess with the big carboys in the cellar–they’re full of mead-in-the-making. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/20 "2001-08-13T00:43:33Z")
i’ll be in the backyard playing with earth-moving equipment to make a go-kart track. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=2)