# The Straight Dope House **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903 "2001-08-12T13:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/181 "2001-08-16T18:25:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Paul The Younger \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > > Shore, BunnyGirl, Ah feels like huntin’ me a li’l Tripler raht now. > > \ So what are we gonna do with him once we catch him…\.\*\* Dibs! I get dibs on ALL uniformed men! DIIIIIBS! _Originally posted by Paul the Younger_\*\* > [@](#): > > …Ginger, how are you doin on that hot chocolate? Need another shot of Bailey’s? \*\* Come on, **Paul** - I _always_ need another shot of Baileys. Or O’Darby’s, or Carolans… ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/182 "2001-08-16T18:27:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by brachyrhynchos \* > \*\*A tame [Tygr] lolls by the pool at the center of the aviary. “Perfect,” thinks brachy, “and now for a little skinny-dipping.” > > The [Tygr] yawns…\*\* …but only to keep **brachyrhynchos** from catching him staring. 😉 [sub](Thanks, branchy! I been trying to figger out where I’d fit into this menagerie.)[/sub] After branchy exits the pool, Tygr stretches and saunters around back to the grill to see if there’s any rare-cooked meat in the offing. After sampling some excellent ribs, he pads through the house to the game room. He watches the goings on there until, tiring of the fascination with multi-sided die, he ambles off through the east wing, pausing to enjoy the lovely music being created. Seeing that dusk is falling, he switches on the pool lights and returns to settle himself beside the natural waterfall that flows into the pool. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/183 "2001-08-16T18:28:31Z")
**Ogre** walks up the front path, his shoes worn through and his overalls threadbare. A hobo bag hangs from a stick slung over his shoulder. He pauses at the front door, doffs his hat and wipes the sweat away with a handkerchief. \ ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/184 "2001-08-16T18:31:02Z")
> [@](#): > > …Dibs! I get dibs on ALL uniformed men! DIIIIIBS!.. But Tripler’s not in uniform right now, if you’ll reference a few posts up. He’s about the yard buck nekkid and about to be the center of attention. Although we could have played “capture the flag” if he had a loin cloth. ::adjusts camo cap, checks paintball ammo (blue pellets) and heads out into the yard:: ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/185 "2001-08-16T18:32:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpaceGhostofArrakis \* > **Balance** : You shot **Jack Batty**! \< **Balance** swiftly and deftly disarms **SpaceGhost** , causing only minimal damage to various arm bones, and pitches the weapon into the brush\> I don’t like guns. Oh, look, here comes the Y2K bug–you’d better hide in your bunker for a while. \ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/186 "2001-08-16T18:33:50Z")
Cleaning out the PVC barrel of the Great Cannon. Tell **Manhatten** to get his butt out to the stockyard to feed the goats. What are we gonna shoot into orbit, if all the goats starve? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/187 "2001-08-16T18:38:11Z")
With **Jack** suitably bandaged ('Twas but a flesh wound), **Balance** returns to gaming–stopping along the way to let **Ogre** in. “How fortuitous–we need an ogre about now. Follow me.” ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/188 "2001-08-16T18:42:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > …Dibs! I get dibs on ALL uniformed men! DIIIIIBS!.. > > But Tripler’s not in uniform right now, if you’ll reference a few posts up. He’s about the yard buck nekkid and about to be the center of attention. > > Although we could have played “capture the flag” if he had a loin cloth. > > ::adjusts camo cap, checks paintball ammo (blue pellets) and heads out into the yard:: \*\* But… He’s GOT one. That’s the important thing. And he wears it, daily. Heh. Oh, Triiiiiiiplerrrrrrrrrrr… ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/189 "2001-08-16T18:48:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\ ***Ogre** walks up the front path, his shoes worn through and his overalls threadbare. A hobo bag hangs from a stick slung over his shoulder. > > He pauses at the front door, doffs his hat and wipes the sweat away with a handkerchief. > > \ \*\* Ogre, just the hobo we’ve been waiting for. Please, do make yourself at home. Have a drink? All I gots is wine…wait, isn’t there a rule about hoboes and wine? Hey, anybody wanna go bowling? There is a bowling alley on the third sublevel of the house, right? Dang. This place needs a map somethin’ fierce. _looks up into the evening sky just in time to see a hot air balloon cruise in front of the biggest, fullest moon of all time_ ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/190 "2001-08-16T18:48:52Z")
\ Nice Place. Y’all got any odd jobs to do around here? \ ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/191 "2001-08-16T18:51:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Dibs! I get dibs on ALL uniformed men! DIIIIIBS! Not all of them! Don’t be stingy! There’s at least one I want; surely you can share, can’t you? 😃 : **Bunny** crawls on her belly through the hedge near the house and speaks softly into her head-set: **Screech** , our target has been seen entering the barn through the north-west door. Do you copy? What’s your location? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/192 "2001-08-16T19:01:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > Nice Place. Y’all got any odd jobs to do around here? Odd? They’re downright _weird_! ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/193 "2001-08-16T19:05:34Z")
The earlier talk of dancing put me in the mood for a ball. I think I’ll send out a few invitations & wax the floor. Grab your ballgowns ladies… ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/194 "2001-08-16T19:14:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sophie \* > \*\*Hey, anybody wanna go bowling? There is a bowling alley on the third sublevel of the house, right? Dang. This place needs a map somethin’ fierce. > > _looks up into the evening sky just in time to see a hot air balloon cruise in front of the biggest, fullest moon of all time_ \*\* Great idea! League starts up in a couple of weeks, so it’s a good time to warm up. I believe the elevator to the sub-levels are near the back, just past _The Velveteen Rub_. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/195 "2001-08-16T19:17:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MissBHaven \* > The earlier talk of dancing put me in the mood for a ball. I think I’ll send out a few invitations & wax the floor. Grab your ballgowns ladies… \ “…I went to a fancy ball It was slippery in the hall I was a-feared that I might fall 'cause I had me on no trousers!” ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/196 "2001-08-16T19:21:27Z")
:: silently parts two rhododendum shrubs, pokes a head through, looks around, and stealthily goes back into the shrubbery :: 🆒 Aye, there after me Lucky Charms! :: runs off buck nekkid :: Tripler And shootin’ at 'em with paintballs! Aye! ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/197 "2001-08-16T19:28:09Z")
: **Bunny** rushes out of the bushes, drops to one knee, shoots **Tripler** in the right hiney cheek. He falls into the trout stream, which he was in the process of hurdling, right buttock covered in paint, and gives a yelp of surprise. **screech** , bring the rope. We’ve got 'im. :runs off to pull her victim out of the water: ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/198 "2001-08-16T19:38:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > Aye, there after me Lucky Charms! \ Actually, I think **Lucky** is watching **Persephone** down by her altar, taking notes. \ ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/199 "2001-08-16T19:39:58Z")
Being part Marine, **Tripler** is able to hold his breath and swim underwater like a fish. While **BunnyGirl** is thrashing about in the water, our now blue-assed hero surfaces 50 yards away, and sneakily crawls back into the local shrubbery. . . :: parts the bushes and watches **BunnyGirl** splish and splash away, and quietly folds back into the brush :: Tripler Ow, my ass hurts. . . :eek: ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/200 "2001-08-16T20:01:23Z")
Ignoring the hi-jinxs of the blue-assed booby, **Ginger** decides that it’s time to re-do her suite. Now, shall I paint, or wallpaper? Do I want pine wainscotting or beech? Oh to hell with it. I’m just gonna watch **Tripler** run around nekkid. Someone clear a spot for me on the porch, wouldja? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=11)