# The Straight Dope House **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903 "2001-08-12T13:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/241 "2001-08-17T16:58:40Z")
I’m pooped…all that running around last night got me into bed late and up early. I think I’ll go up and take a nap on the window seat in my room. Hey **screech** , good shot on the car, but I’m guessing we’ll owe **think** a car wash when he gets back. 🙂 :stretches and walks upstairs to snooze: ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/242 "2001-08-17T18:27:21Z")
Come _on_, **Bunny**. Like we couldn’t talk one of the boys into washing the car? **Tripler** would do it. Just give him beer, and he’ll do anything! And who was it that I’m dancing with? I hope you like to waltz… but then, later, there had better be some two-stepping, too! Yee-haw! ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/243 "2001-08-17T18:47:31Z")
Ball? Did someone say ball? After one last smooch and fondle in the HOT shower where celestina and Krunk have been working diligently to get clean, celestina extricates herself from Krunk to go find that salon Sophie mentioned and get gussied up for the ball. She rubs her hands in anticipation of going over which ballgown complete with accessories she’ll wear. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/244 "2001-08-17T19:04:10Z")
hardygrrl heads off to the library. On her way there, she makes a quick phone call to order a dress for the ball. A dress like no other… Once that business is taken care of, she searches the shelves and finds a copy of Dante’s Divine Comedy. She gets comfy in an overstuffed chair and starts rereading The Paradiso. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/245 "2001-08-17T19:04:39Z")
**screech-owl** (after a quick shower, time in the sauna, rinse off, soak in the hot tub, another rinse, into the steamroom and a final scrubbing in the shower) meanders out into the back garden (after stopping by the kitchen to pick up a few nibbles), finds a hammock in the midst of the butterfly garden (where dozens of iridescent winged creatures play ‘tag’ and ‘hide-and-go-seek’ among the flowers and vines), sets up a small table with a large glass of sweetend iced tea and the aforementioned nibbles, fluffs out the hammock pillow, starts the portable CD player (Ralph Vaughan Williams orchestral works), settles back into the hammock, and opens to the first page of Umberto Eco’s _The Name of the Rose_ (her favorite novel). And promptly falls fast asleep. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/246 "2001-08-17T19:15:16Z")
**Ginger** , yeah, but I’m kind of one of the guilty party and since I want to be on **think’s** _good_ side, I don’t mind washing it. In my binkini top and cut off shorts, of course. 😛 **screech** , you sound just like me! Falling asleep outside…good stuff. Now that I’m up from my nap, I think I’ll get in my grubbies and go clean the stables. :walks out to barn: Holy Fright! **Paul** , what the heck are you doing in there?! :eek: Get your clothes on! ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/247 "2001-08-17T19:26:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by AbbySthrnAccent \* > > \*\*Which way to the room for insomniacs? \*\* > > \ > The breeze always hits the back of the house harder than the front, so aside from a few souls who consistently sleep on the side porch, the front porch is mostly empty. You can sit and enjoy the silence, or spend some time there, conversing with fellow creatures of the night. > > Just a cautionary thought, the foothills get cool at night. Perhaps that nightshirt may not be quite enough? 😉 \*\* The front porch sounds lovely. Thank you for the cautionary note. I’ll be sure and heed it and borrow someone’s baggy sweatshirt to keep from getting a chill. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/248 "2001-08-17T19:49:51Z")
From the massage table where Pierre is working his wonderful magic on her body with his hands and some scented oil, celestina buzzes Abby on the house phone. Pierre pauses in his ministrations, while celestina makes the call. Yeah, Abby, I can vouch for the front porch. It’s quiet and very peaceful, and the company I had when I was there was great. 🙂 Go for it. She puts the house phone down, picks up her glass of Scotch and takes a sip, sets it down, and turns to Pierre. “Now where were we, Sweetie?” ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/249 "2001-08-17T19:51:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\*Holy Fright! **Paul** , what the heck are you doing in there?! :eek: Get your clothes on! \*\* [hijack] **Bunny** , thank you for the experience of being the first doper to ever have to clean _apple pie_ off the monitor! [/hijack] 😛 [sub]now back to the show…[/sub] _GOOD GRIEF!! I’m NAKED!_ I…I…I dunno…last thing I remember was drinking coffee on the porch with **hardygrrl** , she was pissed about missing those pictures of **think**. Then she smiled and offered to get me another cup…tasted kind of different… _OHMIGOD_ :eek: [sup]Oh well…you _were_ looking for a stallion I suppose…[/sup] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/250 "2001-08-17T20:03:38Z")
Finally! It took forever to get fitted for my gown. It’s a dream made of softly shimmering moonlight that swirls beautifully while I’m dancing. My hair will be swept up with just a few tendrils touching my bare shoulders. We’ll start dancing in the ballroom at 8:00… ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/251 "2001-08-17T20:09:28Z")
::hardygrrl walks into the barn.:: So that’s where I left you, **Paul**. Maybe next time I’ll let you be awake…if you’re a good boy. 😉 Hey, has anyone watered **Crunchy** lately? ::Grabs a bucket and fills it with water.:: ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/252 "2001-08-17T20:33:43Z")
It’s 3:30 CST, you’re in a ball gown and slippers. Uh…what the HECK ARE YOU GOING TO DO for the next four hours??? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/253 "2001-08-17T21:03:21Z")
Well it’s late afternoon and I heard there’s going to be a ball, so I’m going to wander back out to the front porch I discovered in the early morning hours clothed in borrowed baggy grey sweats. I’m going to settle onto the swing with a book and read lazily and nap up to prepare for a late evening of music, conversation and dancing. It looks like some of the girls are getting very dressed up. I may need to ponder a few minutes on what to wear. ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/254 "2001-08-17T21:17:46Z")
Oh yeah. O, brother, please coif me a do like no other. I need to look guuud tonite. Ok, so the stylist says that I should probably wear something dark green. I disagree, homeboy. I need some sequins, I need a plunging neck line, I need backless and I need spaghetti straps. And I, of course, need some very high black heels. Jewelry? I’m not too good at jewelry. Maybe **celestina** could get her massaged butt in here and help me pick something out once she’s finished being worked over by Pierre (but please, don’t rush anything on my account. We’re here to enjoy ourselves). I have to wonder why we’re getting all dressed up, though, since it looks like all of the boys are either with the horses or in the garage. ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/255 "2001-08-17T21:30:45Z")
Don’t worry… once we get all dressed up, the men will come. They’ll be looking dapper & ready to dance the night away! In the meantime, I think I’ll have one of those lovely massages everyone is talking about… scented oils… sounds like heaven! ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/256 "2001-08-17T21:47:14Z")
Sorry, but this boy is off to Canada for some R&R… [Homer] mmmm…Molson Brador… [/Homer] Enjoy your dancin’, save one or two for me! **Zappo** , didja have some fun on the track with that bike? I’ll assume by the two foot grin permanently plastered across your face that’s a “yes” 😃 It’s full up on diesel and ready to rock! Great! See you all on Tuesday! :: hops on and fires her up, hits the main road at about 95mph, and _then_ opens it up. :: -------------------------[sub]O[/sub]\>=\<[sup]\>[/sup][sub]O[/sub] ::Fishing for trout down by the stream, **Tripler** and **Airman Doors** look up simultaneously to spot the F18 they think they just heard :: [sup]It’s a fantasy, remember?[/sup] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/257 "2001-08-17T23:04:06Z")
I bought a tuxedo for the first time in my LIFE 3 days ago. Co-inkydink? P’raps. **Abby** , might I be the first to formally ask you to be at my arm as we both attend the **First Annual Straight Dope Formal Ball and Brew Ha-Ha**? I’d be ever so honored to be your escort. Sincerely, Master Cartoon d’Uverse Aux Sinclair du Frommage ( roughly translated to mean, The Universe is a gassy cheese 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/258 "2001-08-17T23:39:32Z")
[b[hardygrrl\*\* walks into the ballroom, wearing the dress Catherine Zeta-Jones wore to the Oscars (black with a bustier style top and a gently flowing skirt). Her red hair has is parted on the side and slightly curled. Her only accessories are a pair of emerald drop earrings, to match her eyes. So, anyone want to dance? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/259 "2001-08-18T00:14:04Z")
Having finally completed the strenous job of overseeing the construction of the Official SDMB Recreational Water System complete with 20 acre sandy beach Lagoon–most suitable for lounging, making sand castles and of course beach blanket bingo, **Mermaid** relaxes on one of the many boulders by the edge of the water, sips a mega sized Sex on the Beach and ahem _inspects_ the constructions workers for fitness of duty. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/260 "2001-08-18T00:25:10Z")
Cartooniverse, I’d be delighted to have you as an escort. I was a tiny bit worried as there are obviously so many more women than men planning to attend the event and I am greatly relieved to have a companion for the evening. I better look for something other than these sweats to wear, dash off for a pre-party bubble bath and do something with this mop I have for hair. ::: Hurries off towards one of the many luxuriously appointed bathrooms for some last minute gotta look like a girl preparations. I hope they aren’t all occupied already. ::: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=14)