# The Straight Dope House **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903 "2001-08-12T13:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/21 "2001-08-13T01:05:12Z")
If anyone needs me, I’ll be back in the conservatory watering the ferns. Let me know when the delivery truck from Williams-Sonoma gets here…I took the liberty of ordering some (read: a lot of) stuff for the kitchen. And stay out of my room! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/22 "2001-08-13T01:30:52Z")
And you can usually find **Chronos** , **DrMatrix** , and **Podkayne** in the library, arguing the subtleties of quantum physics—while **Spider Woman** and **TN\*hippie** are over by the fireplace, writing and comparing limericks. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/23 "2001-08-13T01:31:07Z")
While enjoying the Zero Cottage on the grounds, Saint Zero is the group Chauffeur, ferrying the non-driving 'Dopers around. Juliana would be in charge of Pagers/Cell Phones and the like. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/24 "2001-08-13T01:35:59Z")
**\<-----on the crapper, of course** Which better be well lit, well ventilated, and CLEAN, with a large selection of magazines (National Geographic and Popular Mechanics) and paperbacks. b. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/25 "2001-08-13T01:41:01Z")
:: waves :: Hi, everybody. Thanks for the beer, **Cajun Man**. I think I like this place. Which way to the library? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/26 "2001-08-13T01:43:13Z")
I’ll be upstairs, in the sunken tub, taking a bubblebath by candlelight, reading old Archie comics and drinking a white russian while people pound on the doors needing to pee desperately. I’ll just laugh, turn up my radio and continue to soak. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/27 "2001-08-13T01:44:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > \*\*There’s **hardygrrl** in the barn, preparing to do a Swanton Bomb from the rafter onto the haypile. \*\* Why are people always playing in my food? I don’t roll around in your soufflé… much ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/28 "2001-08-13T01:47:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > I’ll be upstairs, in the sunken tub, taking a bubblebath by candlelight, reading old Archie comics and drinking a white russian while people pound on the doors needing to pee desperately. I’ll just laugh, turn up my radio and continue to soak. Screw the mad scientist gig–I’m going upstairs. And I can pick locks. \ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/29 "2001-08-13T01:47:56Z")
Eve will be in the parlor, playing the piano and regaling us with amusing stories. Actually, the effect will be more like the opening scene of the Bride of Frankenstein, with Eve in the Elsa Lanchester role. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/30 "2001-08-13T02:01:11Z")
What, nobody wants to visit the rustic house in the woods? hmph. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/31 "2001-08-13T02:22:43Z")
celestina’s on the front porch sitting in a rocking chair. She’s just finished painting her fingernails and toenails “Society Rose,” and now she’s relaxing, occasionally waving her hands to dry them, but drying her polish is thirsty work so to help in the process, she’s got a shot glass and a bottle of Oban nearby. Gingerly she pours herself a drink and manages not to smear her artwork. Then she sits back and watches the stars. The breeze brings the scent of honeysuckle her way, and she inhales deeply. As she rocks and sips and gazes up at the heavens, she thinks to herself: “Life is good.” 🙂 Of course it’d be even better if other folks would come join her and share in this cool evening. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/32 "2001-08-13T02:24:02Z")
Can I come??? Can I?\* Please, please? OK - I have been playing truant from SDMB for a while but I’m back (huh - just in time for the visit of the evil hacker ) 🙂 So, as unemployed librarian, can I help furryman with the library? - - all right, you pendantic lot, I meant, of course, “may I?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/33 "2001-08-13T02:35:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > \*\*What, nobody wants to visit the rustic house in the woods? > > hmph. \*\* What kind of weapons? And why does the main house have to be this old 19th century mansion-type thing? Why can’t it be all high-tech and ultra-modern? Unless…there’s a high-tech ultra-modern batcave type setup _underneath_ the old mansion. Yeah…that would be cool… Also of course there needs to be a swimming pool, if for no other reason than to let me ogle at all the hot babes here 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/34 "2001-08-13T02:37:19Z")
Don’t worry, **Crunchy**. I will soon be out to keep you company once everyone figures out how bad I suck at Hearts and throws me out in digust. We’ll sit together and I’ll tell you how much I’ve always liked your “fun size” sig line. But then **Diane** will come out on the back porch with a huge cigar clamped in her jaws and wearing a green eyeshade, hollering at me to get my butt back in to play poker (a game I’m good at). She rounds up **Qadgop the Mercotan** & **pldennison** and **Miller** to round out the game. I lobby hard to include **Ginger Of The North** because I’m hopeful that our strange all-green U.S. money will confuse her into betting foolishly. Thus I run back inside and abandon poor Crunchy again. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Friend\_of\_the\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f0a364/32.png) [@A\_Friend\_of\_the\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Friend_of_the_Devil)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/35 "2001-08-13T02:52:19Z")
In the basement, there is a regulation 50 foot .22 caliber rifle range. **AFotD, Unclebeer, Taranquilis and Spoofe** can occasionally be found there. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/36 "2001-08-13T03:02:37Z")
As for me, I’m in the sunroom, setting up an easel and putting out oil painting supplies and what not. If **Gaudere** is around, I’ll grab her and ask if she wants to join in. Anyone want to pose nude for me? Otherwise I’m going to paint a big collection of fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@Lady\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/37 "2001-08-13T03:03:43Z")
Lady Ice comes staggering out of the woods behind the house holding her GPS system and her latest scavenger hunt prize, a Cartman keychain. She grabs a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, her laptop and heads for the library. ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/38 "2001-08-13T03:04:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by celestina \* > \*\*celestina’s on the front porch sitting in a rocking chair. She’s just finished painting her fingernails and toenails “Society Rose,” and now she’s relaxing, occasionally waving her hands to dry them, but drying her polish is thirsty work so to help in the process, she’s got a shot glass and a bottle of Oban nearby. Gingerly she pours herself a drink and manages not to smear her artwork. Then she sits back and watches the stars. The breeze brings the scent of honeysuckle her way, and she inhales deeply. As she rocks and sips and gazes up at the heavens, she thinks to herself: “Life is good.” 🙂 Of course it’d be even better if other folks would come join her and share in this cool evening. \*\* Oooooo, me me me! But, I’d like a bottle of really good chianti and “Monroe’s Red” for the tootsies. Did ya see those fairy roses I planted next to the path that leads up to the house? ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/39 "2001-08-13T03:09:39Z")
Hey, Sophie! By all means join me. 🙂 You know I thought I caught a hint of rose on the breeze too. Mmmm. Next to honeysuckle, I LOVE the smell of roses! Wonderful job with the roses, and they’re fairy ones no less. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/40 "2001-08-13T03:16:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by phouka \* > \*\*As for me, I’m in the sunroom, setting up an easel and putting out oil painting supplies and what not. If **Gaudere** is around, I’ll grab her and ask if she wants to join in. > > Anyone want to pose nude for me? Otherwise I’m going to paint a big collection of fruit. \*\* Fruit - ick. I can’t imagine the SDMB house decorated with portraits of fruit. So I suppose I’ll sacrifice my modesty. Are you interested in lush, voluptuous women? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=3)