# The Straight Dope House **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903 "2001-08-12T13:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/161 "2001-08-16T05:14:48Z")
[sub]sup My evil plan has worked![/sup][/sub] **Ginger** wanders off to her suite out back of the house, taking along with her a plate of banana bread with chocolate chips and a hot chocolate with a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream. She also has taken the can of whipped cream along with her… should the mood strike her later, she will go on a foray into the boy’s quarters… ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Stewart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Dave\_Stewart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Stewart)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/162 "2001-08-16T09:43:27Z")
“Hey!” **Dave Stewart** yells out, shockingly drunk on Wild Turkey and Coke. “Who pissed in this damn spa?” Both **Razorwitt** and **watsonwil** sheepishly raise their hands. “And,” pause,"…what the hell am I doing in a spa with men?" ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/163 "2001-08-16T12:36:47Z")
> [@](#): > > we at least request that those of you who have spent the day either horseback riding OR mudwrestling ( Sua? Geo? listen up kids…\… ) please do use the hose to clean off their legs. I took a shower out by the sauna earlier. I’s clean as a whistle! With all this lovely piano music, I’m ready to do a little ballroom-style dancing. Anyone care to give me a few lessons? I won’t step on your feet too much! **Dave** , in a hot tub with guys? Inquiring minds want to know. So, **Sophie** , how far down stream did y’all get carried before you caught up with the canoe and kayak? You guys were dripping wet when you came back! ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/164 "2001-08-16T14:44:37Z")
> [@](#): > > With all this lovely piano music, I’m ready to do a little ballroom-style dancing. > Anyone care to give me a few lessons? Darling, I’d love to, but, well… \< **ts** motions towards himself, obviously pointing out his garb\> Perhaps after I get back from diving. \< **think** checks his computer, tank and BCD and wanders down to the fresh-water spring\> Hmmm, high-70’s says the floating thermometer, which wetsuit to wear: shorty or farmer-john…I think I’ll just use the shorty. A little gel to clear the mask, check the regulator and octo, slip the fins on and I’m sliding under… [ul]_[sub]_[/sub]\*[/ul] ```auto [ul][sup]o[/sup]O[sub]o[/sub] [list][sup]O[/sup]0[sub]o[/sub] [list][sup]O[/sup]o[sub]O[/sub] [list][sup]o[/sup]O[sub]o[/sub] ....O .....o ......O ......O .......o .......O ........o [list][sup]o[/sup]O[sub]o[/sub] [list]([sup]bubble[/sup][sub]bubble[/sub])[/ul][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list] ``` ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/165 "2001-08-16T14:48:44Z")
Hey all! Sorry I’m late, school and all. Anyways, where can I drop my one bag of clothes, and about 50 bags of electronic equipment? And what’s up with the menu for dinner? I think I’ll order some wings, who’s in? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/166 "2001-08-16T15:02:41Z")
Well, while I wait for my dance instructor to get back from diving, I’ll just curl up next to the fire in the library and read this book I’ve been dying to get into (_The Diary of Anais Nin_ 😛 ). Oh, look the momma cat brought her kittens into the library to play. :gets on floor and starts petting and skritching a pile of playful 6 week old fuzzies: ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/167 "2001-08-16T16:01:02Z")
I’m rather surprised we haven’t had any streakers, yet. And would you keep those damned cats away from me?! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/168 "2001-08-16T16:50:52Z")
:: pops up from the pool all stealthy and stuff and looks around :: 🆒 :: runs across the backyard buck nekkid :: Wooooooooooooooo! Tripler Like, woooooooooooo! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/169 "2001-08-16T17:04:46Z")
:screech-owl continues dusting books and bookmarks page of _Goedel Escher Bach_: Excellent book, **BunnyGirl**! Hey what was tha…WHOA!!! :catches sight of Tripler running through backyard bucknekkid: :steps forward to get a better line of sight: :trips over momma cat: :sidesteps small fuzzy kitty: :does what in 20-20 hindsight would be an excellent interpretation of person balancing on one foot, arms flailing, but failing miserably at counteracting the undeniable force of gravity through a feeble attempt at kinetic aerobics: **BAM!** \*\* medic! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/170 "2001-08-16T17:13:12Z")
**Ginger** , don’t worry about the cats. I’ve installed my patented _Keeping Cats Away From People Who’re Allergic or Don’t Like Them_[sup]TM[/sup] device on all the cats’ collars. **screech** , you okay! :eek: :dusts **screech** off, finds out she’s fine and missed the kittens entirely: :giggles and whispers: [sub]Hey, wanna join 'im?![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/171 "2001-08-16T17:21:22Z")
:: With the high-pitched scream of a fighter jet, **Paul** ’s finely-tuned [Y2K Superbike](http://www.marineturbine.com/y2kinnov.htm) winds up the drive and glides to a stop in front of the garage. :: (this _IS_ a fantasy, right? :D) -------------------------[sub]O[/sub]\>=\<[sup]\>[/sup][sub]O[/sub] Hey, **Zappo** , know anything about gas turbine engines? Feel free to play with this one for awhile if you like. **Dave** says the bourbon is flowing and the hot tub is open (now that **Razorwitt** and **watsonwil** have finished scrubbing it out.) If only we could get some of these beautiful women here to join us in the tub, this might really be a party! That is, of course, after we enjoy this fantastic meal (you were generous with the garlic in that hoummus, right, **Cartooniverse**?) Perhaps we can take a smaller bowl out to the deck with some pita, and enjoy the hoummus while we lounge in the tub? Any takers? 😉 :: throws some Mike’s and a few assorted brews (requests?) into a tub with ice, refills his Beam and coke, and heads out to the deck :: Wow , it’s nice out here…I must say you guys picked a fan – _ **WHAT THE HELL IS THAT TIED UP TO THA –** _ Oh…hey **Crunchy** , how ‘ya doin’ there? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/172 "2001-08-16T17:29:12Z")
Shore, **BunnyGirl** , Ah feels like huntin’ me a li’l Tripler raht now. Let me get my camo pants and jacket (gotta be careful if he gets into the bracken out back, but that would be a good time to practice our ‘first-aid skills’, if you know what I mean) and paint ball gun. So what are we gonna do with him once we catch him… \. ::goes off humming the theme song to _The Most Dangerous Game_.\*\* \*\* [sub]Well, if there was actually a theme song to _The Most Dangerous Game_, I’d be humming it, seeing as it was a book (3rd bookcase, 4th shelf, 14th book from the left, the one with the red cover, in case anyone was looking for it). I mean, one of those theme songs with the onerous undertones, but really gets yer pulse racing and the adrenaline flowing, and yet has a catchy hummable melody, not one of those avant-garde eclectic things, but not as predictable as a John Williams cut-n-paste score. Sort of a Danny Elfman-style, really dark overature.[/sub] Okay, I got dressed during the footnote, let’s go. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/173 "2001-08-16T17:35:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*Shore, **BunnyGirl** , Ah feels like huntin’ me a li’l Tripler raht now. > > Let me get my camo pants and jacket (gotta be careful if he gets into the bracken out back, but that would be a good time to practice our ‘first-aid skills’, if you know what I mean) and paint ball gun. > > So what are we gonna do with him once we catch him… > \. > > ::goes off humming the theme song to _The Most Dangerous Game_.\*\* > \*\* [sub]Well, if there was actually a theme song to _The Most Dangerous Game_, I’d be humming it, seeing as it was a book (3rd bookcase, 4th shelf, 14th book from the left, the one with the red cover, in case anyone was looking for it). I mean, one of those theme songs with the onerous undertones, but really gets yer pulse racing and the adrenaline flowing, and yet has a catchy hummable melody, not one of those avant-garde eclectic things, but not as predictable as a John Williams cut-n-paste score. Sort of a Danny Elfman-style, really dark overature.[/sub] > Okay, I got dressed during the footnote, let’s go. \*\* Or, you could just hum the theme to Gilligan’s Island…you know, the one where the big game hunter gets stuck on the island and makes a deal with the castaways to let him hunt Gilligan in exchange for getting them all home? No? Nevermind, then, I’ll just sit and soak, and watch the fun from here… **Ginger** , how are you doin on that hot chocolate? Need another shot of Bailey’s? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/174 "2001-08-16T17:40:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*Shore, **BunnyGirl** , Ah feels like huntin’ me a li’l Tripler raht now. > > Let me get my camo pants and jacket (gotta be careful if he gets into the bracken out back, but that would be a good time to practice our ‘first-aid skills’, if you know what I mean) and paint ball gun. > > So what are we gonna do with him once we catch him… > \. > > ::goes off humming the theme song to _The Most Dangerous Game_.\*\* > \*\* Paintball!!! :eek: I have SO wanted to play paintball - SU-WEET. I’ve got my camies right here, let me pull them on and we’ll go huntin’. Heh. :evil grin: I’ll take the left, you go right and we’ll flush from out of the barn where he’s peepin’ on **Geobabe** and **Sua**. Lock-n-load, bay-bee! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/175 "2001-08-16T17:58:04Z")
> [@](#): > > …Or, you could just hum the theme to Gilligan’s Island…\*\* _Gilligan’s Island_?!?! Oh puh-lease! We are intellectuals here! You are amidst the most intelligent people populating this planet. Gilligan’s Island, indeed. Although the Professor was brilliant and kinda cute… **BunnyGirl** - I got dibs on blue, here’s red for you. Lock’n’load and have at 'im! hehehehehehehehe… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/176 "2001-08-16T18:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\* BAM!_\* > > \*\* medic! \*\* \*\* **Cartooniverse** hears the cry over the sound of his chisel. Leaping to the fore, he grabs his jump bag and O2, and trots over. Finding **screech-owl** laying there, gasping for breath, face a mask of pain, he kneels down, nimbly avoiding kneeling ONTO a kitten. > [@](#): > > **Screechy** , don’t move. I’m going to hold your head very still here whilst a collar is applied, okay? Now, don’t move your head or neck while I carefully examine you for any additional trauma. You say your lower back is sore, and you’ve a nasty laceration here from a shard of glass. Let’s just tend to that after we look into this back, shall we?? She winds up being just fine, a lot of sore muscles and a cut along her forearm. Why, she’ll be right as rain in no time at all !! 🙂 \<–dusts self off, gingerly hugs **Screechy** , goes back to sculpting. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/177 "2001-08-16T18:19:43Z")
Cerivcal collar, eh? Does that mean I get the handicapped parking space in front of the house? Thanks, **Cartooniverse** , I’m fine, just going off to do some Tripler-hunting (it’s Tripler season). I can pose for you later. I thought I was up and about, but if it makes him happy to help… ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/178 "2001-08-16T18:20:59Z")
Meanwhile \*\* Space Ghost\*\* comes stumbling out of his bunker. “You fools! When Y2K hits, you’ll all be dead men! and…look out! A Bear!” ::Fires rifle:: **Balance** You shot \*\* Jack Batty\*\*! “You sure it wasn’t a bear? Heck, i jus’ winged 'im!” ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/179 "2001-08-16T18:22:45Z")
oh shazbot, that should be: **Balance** : You shot **Jack Batty**! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903/180 "2001-08-16T18:22:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > So, **Sophie** , how far down stream did y’all get carried before you caught up with the canoe and kayak? You guys were dripping wet when you came back! Not far at all. Regrettably, I have had considerable experience at catching wayward canoes. It doesn’t take very long to get dripping wet in a river, y’know. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-house/75903.md?page=10)