# The Straight Dope is failing in its mission **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 16, 2002, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374 "2002-05-16T13:12:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/21 "2002-05-16T17:27:06Z")
LOL…this should be in the “Dumbest Thing You Ever Heard” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/22 "2002-05-16T18:10:02Z")
**iMac Customer Service Training Manual** “Good afternoon, and thanks for holding, this is iMac Technical Support. How can I help you?” “Yeah, I just got my iMac home, but it’s broken.” “What’s happening?” “Well, I’ve been standing in front of it for about fifteen minutes, moving my head back and forth and sticking out my tongue and stuff, and it’s not moving at all. Can I take it back to the store and get a replacement?” **The correct answer is:** a. “Make sure the iMac is plugged in. If it’s still not working, call us back.” b. “The iMac’s screen resolution cycles at a rate too fast to see some movements; this prevents the iMac from falling to the floor as it tries to copy people walking past a desk that it’s on. You probably just need to move a little bit faster.” c. “May I send you our pamphlet entitled, _Personal Computers Don’t Need to Move Around, You Ignorant Twit_?” ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/23 "2002-05-16T18:23:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mighty Maximino \* > \*\*OK, [found one](www.law.pitt.edu/madison/contracts/ leonard\_v\_pepsico.pdf). I would like to read the decision if the girl in the OP brought suit. \*\* You got a space in your URL. [http://www.law.pitt.edu/madison/contracts/leonard\_v\_pepsico.pdf](http://www.law.pitt.edu/madison/contracts/leonard_v_pepsico.pdf) ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/24 "2002-05-16T18:41:30Z")
Have you seen the Jeep commercial where the hikers cross the stream, then the Jeep drives out of the bottom of the creek to the other side? Look closely aty the bottom of the screen when the Jeep drives out of the creek: [sub]Not designed for underwater driving[/sub] That kills me. I picture some guy waving as he drives his new Jeep off the lot, and directly into a river. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/25 "2002-05-16T18:56:40Z")
Hey **Aleq** , do you have an attribution for that aphorism? I originally read it “The larger the searchlight, the larger the circumference of the unknown,” as the (shoot, what do you call that thing) quote in the beginning of a book, attributed to someone named Dick Taylor. I’ve always wanted to know who this Dick Taylor character was. Do you have any information about that? I’ve never heard anyone else quote it before (it’s actually in my never-used sig). ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/26 "2002-05-16T20:50:30Z")
Actually, some of them _do_ do that! Reported by the [CARS](http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/2002_04_07_archive.htm) help desk (scroll down to Wednesday for the info). [This site](http://members.aol.com/VBrod5000/books/tessseract.htm) attributes the ‘searchlight’ quote to Alex Garland in _The Tesseract_. However, he might have been quoting Dick Taylor himself, if in fact Taylor said it. Dick Taylor (or at least _a_ Dick Taylor) was an early member of The Rolling Stones. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374/27 "2002-05-16T21:37:23Z")
Thanks **panamajack** for the cite. Alex Garland attributed it to Dick Taylor (great, great book, by the way). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-is-failing-in-its-mission/109374.md?page=1)