# The Straight Dope, Long As You Toe The Line **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 4, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594 "2001-09-04T00:40:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/63 "2001-09-05T18:34:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xanakis \* > Clare, > > maybe we should start an “outcasts” thread somewhere in a forgotten corner of the SDMB. Hey PAW! We’re back in business! I just got an order for 3 Crosses…it’ll be just like Calvary! Heeeeyuuk xanakis…you make me sweat blood with your tedious martyrdom ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/64 "2001-09-05T18:55:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clare Ashworth \* > \*\*You’re bloody lucky, Jack! > Blowing a kiss at someone got me into trouble on here! > \*\* Um, you didn’t get “into trouble”: you had your threads closed. See the difference? 'Course, I’m not speaking to the future. Sua ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/65 "2001-09-05T19:38:12Z")
There was no need for you to start any new threads at all, **Clare**. You could have used the search function (see the upper right corner of this page) to find the thread you were looking for originally. Or if was **Wishbone** you were looking for, clicking on the profile button under his posts will get you his email address, unless he decided not to share it with us. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/66 "2001-09-05T21:21:28Z")
Two scenarios: 1. Man walks into a bar. Quickly realizes he doesn’t like it. Leaves. 2. Man walks into a bar. Quickly realizes he doesn’t like it. Spends the next two hours being loudly and actively upset about the way the bar’s run. Which one has a clue? Kids ( **Clare** and **xanakis** , that is), there are lots of MBs out there. If you’ve only been here for about fifteen minutes, and already you’re feeling put upon about the way you’ve been treated, what sort of psychic investment do you have in this place that makes you stick around? If the problem’s **us** (the denizens of this board, including the mods), then you’ll be much happier at one of the thousands of MBs that have more pleasant folks than us. If the problem’s **you** , nobody’s gonna solve that problem quite so easily as you, but whining about us won’t make a dent in it. Either way, you’ll be happier if you just leave us out of it. And, for that matter, so will we. Speaking just for myself: Bye now. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/67 "2001-09-05T21:26:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > …munching happily on a hot pretzel and caressing in a most filthy way my newly purchased **jarbabyj** inflatable figurine… Hey **Cartooniverse** - where the heck can I get one of those? I’ve checked every adult toy store in town, and they’re all out! [sub]Why don’t adult toy stores sell hot pretzels? I just can’t figure it out…;)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/68 "2001-09-05T21:29:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > **Why don’t adult toy stores sell hot pretzels? I just can’t figure it out…😉** People might be confused about what you’re supposed to do with it. Imagine the kinds of lawsuits that could generate. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/69 "2001-09-05T21:51:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clare Ashworth \* > **Nostradamus advises me ‘not to question a decision by a moderator’, because ‘I will lose’. > Are they such fascists? I would have preferred to think not. > Other message boards I’ve contributed to only chuck you off if you’re offensive or abusive to others - not for disagreeing with the moderator!** Well, Nostradamus does not say this, what he says is ‘Don’t _attack_ a decision by a moderator’, a turn of phrase which he just checks. He considers an attack to be a more serious proposition than a question, and he has consulted his dictionary to verify this. Of course, his knowledge of the past is sometimes as good as his predictions for the future, which are basically crap, especially on the subject of football, but in this matter he is right on the money. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/70 "2001-09-05T22:09:47Z")
What’s **Nostradamus** ’s view on referring to oneself in the third person. **Jack** really wants to know. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/71 "2001-09-05T22:32:29Z")
**Jack Batty** , he does this sometimes for variety. He got the idea from some literary character or other, and the annoying thing is, he forgets who it was. When **Nostradamus** remembers this guy’s name, he will email you accordingly with the desired information. This is the promise of **Nostradamus**. Of course, another possibility is that he just likes the sight of his own name. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/72 "2001-09-05T22:38:34Z")
Sounds like you’re imitating Damon Runyon. **Nostradamus** , I for one would find it more than somewhat amusing if you would in fact post in the style of Nostradamus, that is, extremely obscure and enigmatic verse. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/73 "2001-09-05T22:39:31Z")
**Jack** is amused. ---
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/74 "2001-09-05T22:42:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Colibri \* > \*\ ***Nostradamus** , I for one would find it more than somewhat amusing if you would in fact post in the style of Nostradamus, that is, extremely obscure and enigmatic verse. \*\* Do not forget to also be extremely ambiguous, so that, no matter _what_ happens, your supporters can point to a verse which, they claim, predicted it. ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/75 "2001-09-05T22:46:25Z")
Damon Runyon, for sure. And **Slip** is sure that the character in question is none other than Harry the Horse. Please continue. **Slip** is amused also. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/76 "2001-09-05T23:16:36Z")
I’m damned tired of every single one of these motherfucking “oh the mods were mean to me” threads. Just ban the whingeing immature self-absorbed motherfuckers and be done with it. All the do is distract from our real businesses, which is of course pointless arguments and the occasional alleviation of a bit of ignorance as a happy by product. (sycophantic? anyone want to apply that adjective to me?) ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/77 "2001-09-05T23:24:45Z")
JODI thinks COLLOUNSBURY ate some bad cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/78 "2001-09-05T23:39:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Colibri \* > \*\*Sounds like you’re imitating Damon Runyon. > > \*\* Or Zathras. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/79 "2001-09-05T23:46:36Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Collounsbury** _ > > Just ban the whingeing immature self-absorbed motherfuckers… And while we’re at it, what the fuck does “whingeing” mean? Is that like wheezing? Or winging? Or maybe it’s the wrong way to spell “whining?” Fuckin’ Brits! Learn how to spell! Esprix [sub](Oh, did I forget to include a ;)? Sorry 'bout that…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/80 "2001-09-06T00:13:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > And while we’re at it, what the fuck does “whingeing” mean? Is that like wheezing? Or winging? Or maybe it’s the wrong way to spell “whining?” > > Fuckin’ Brits! Learn how to spell! > > Esprix > > [sub](Oh, did I forget to include a ;)? Sorry 'bout that…[/sub] Now, **Esprix** , _whinge_ is a perfectly acceptable word meaning “to complain peevishly.” And _whingeing_ is an acceptable spelling, though not the preferred, which is _whinging_. In fact, _whinge_ is even older than _whine_, though I have to admit I had never seen the word before coming to the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/81 "2001-09-06T02:47:21Z")
Y’know, I kinda picture **Clare** as the kind of person who goes to sit on the toilet, planning to expel her bowels, and strains and strains and strains, but just can’t seem to shit. If she happened to reach around and feel 'tween her butt-cheeks, she’d find a nice piece of blockage securely wedged in her sphincter. However, since this action would require conscious thought, she just refrains from shitting until it backs up and spews out of her oral orifice… then onto the keyboard, where it is subsequently posted onto the message board. **Clare Ashworth** - President and Member of the Buttplug Association of AMerica. ---
**Author:** ![Clare\_Ashworth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Clare\_Ashworth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clare_Ashworth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594/82 "2001-09-06T20:14:56Z")
Well, I hope you all have it out of your systems now! Esprix’s derogatory remarks about Brits, and Spoofe’s toilet metaphors are bizarre in the extreme. What odd, dysfunctional people they must be. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-long-as-you-toe-the-line/79594.md?page=5)