# The Straight Dope Public Address System

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 28, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584 "2001-08-28T19:23:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/1 "2001-08-28T19:23:25Z")

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May I have your attention please:

Illinois registration E146258, your lights are on.

Thank you

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**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/2 "2001-08-28T19:47:40Z")

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**Flight 47** \*\<squawk\>\* **Express from New B** \*\<squawk\>_ **is now arrivin** _\<crackle\* **at Gate** _\<screeeeeeeeeech\>_ **, repea** \*\<crackle crackle crackle pop\>_ **ty-seven. Passengers boarding for** \<tick tick pop\> **ston,** \<creeeeeeeeeeee\> **sten,** \<chhhhhhhhhh\> **urg, and New** \<k…k…k…k…k…k…k…k…k…k\>, please \<snapsnapsnap\> **to Gate Tw** _\<ki ki ki ki\>\ ***. All other passengers should report to the baggage** _\<ssssssssssss\>_ \*\*Level One.

Mr. Co\*\*\*\<zzzzzzzzsssshhhhhhhhhh\>_ **ti, please report to the Security Office immediately. Al** _\<chuk chuk chuk chuk\>\ ***ther passengers should begin boarding at this** _\<pop\>_.

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**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/3 "2001-08-28T20:09:20Z")

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“All aboard for Anaheim, Azuza and Cooo. . .kamonga!”

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**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/4 "2001-08-28T20:16:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by pcubed \*  
> \*\*May I have your attention please:
> 
> Illinois registration E146258, your lights are on.
> 
> Thank you \*\*

Dammit, not again. Scuse me, folks.

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**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/5 "2001-08-28T20:18:33Z")

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Adams, party of 16855? Your table is ready!

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**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/6 "2001-08-28T20:25:59Z")

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_ **BROMMMPPPFFFT** _  
Interesting… farts don’t echo.

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/7 "2001-08-28T20:27:25Z")

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The GD is for General Discussions only. Please move your polls to IMHO as soon as you are done unloading. Thank you.

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**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/8 "2001-08-28T20:27:57Z")

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PWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT!

Everyone out of the water!

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/9 "2001-08-28T20:29:04Z")

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(minor scuffle)

No, the GD is for Great Debates only. Please move your questions to the GQ column immediately.

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**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/10 "2001-08-28T20:32:14Z")

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Wet cleanup on Aisle 9!

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/11 "2001-08-28T20:32:56Z")

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The white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only. Please, no parking in the white zone.

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**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/12 "2001-08-28T20:33:56Z")

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[heavy breathing]

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**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/13 "2001-08-28T20:35:48Z")

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Imperial troops have entered the base! Imperial troops have \<SKSHHHHHHHHHHHT!\>

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**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/14 "2001-08-28T20:36:51Z")

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… so anyhow, I said, “You want me to suck _what_? And… omigod, is this thing _on_?!”

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**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/15 "2001-08-28T20:38:13Z")

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At the tone the time will be 3:45 pm…Beep

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**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/16 "2001-08-28T20:38:31Z")

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"Use of excessive force in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers…

…has been approved."

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**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/17 "2001-08-28T20:40:55Z")

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Cecil Adams to the white courtesy telephone, please.

Cecil Adams, white courtesy phone.

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**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/18 "2001-08-28T20:42:02Z")

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Please keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times

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**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/19 "2001-08-28T20:43:19Z")

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…your seat cushions can be used as flotation devices…

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**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\
**Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/20 "2001-08-28T20:51:13Z")

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The Russians Are Coming! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!!!

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