# The Straight Dope Public Address System **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584 "2001-08-28T19:23:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/41 "2001-08-28T22:19:36Z")
Mike Hunt? Paging Mr. Mike Hunt? Hugh G Rection? Paging Mr. Hugh G Rection? Ben Dover? Paging Mr. Ben Dover? Peter Fitzinwell? Paging Mr. Peter Fitzinwell? ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/42 "2001-08-28T23:22:53Z")
Testing…one…two…three… Testing…ssssilbilance…ssssibilance Testing…Mary had a little duck…testing… ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/43 "2001-08-28T23:37:09Z")
[/annoying muzak] Attention SDMB shoppers. Why don’t you visit Great Debates today! Browse our selection of interesting and in-depth conversations on a wide variety of subjects, including evolution, gun control, moon landings, gun control, and evolution. Please feel free to stop by our convenient reference section on your way over. Say hi to **DavidB** and **Gaudere** , your friendly moderators, while you’re there. And make sure to take advantage on this week’s special; annoying conspiracy kooks are half price! [annoying muzak] ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/44 "2001-08-28T23:56:42Z")
Prochain arrêt, place St-Henri. ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/45 "2001-08-28T23:59:26Z")
" . . . And at third base [sub]third base … [sub]third base [/sub][/sub]. . . Manny [sub]Manny … Manny[/sub] . . . Mota [sub]. . . Mota … Mota [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![nooc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b487fb/32.png) [@nooc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nooc)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/46 "2001-08-29T00:00:11Z")
may I have your attention please… ahem… GEORGIA BLOWS GOATS… I have proof thank you. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/47 "2001-08-29T00:03:28Z")
Attention shoppers. We have a little lost boy. He’s about three years old, he’s wearing a cap with a propeller on top, and he has some er… cut out pictures of underexposed moon landing photos. He’s very distressed, so if his parents could please make their way to the information desk on level three… ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/48 "2001-08-29T00:31:05Z")
**ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!!! ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!** ---
**Author:** ![kylen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@kylen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kylen)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/49 "2001-08-29T00:43:28Z")
Allright [insert city name here]… Are you ready to ROCK!!! I can’t hear you!!! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/50 "2001-08-29T01:14:50Z")
There will be a another showing of this week’s movie, “Bells of Saint Mary’s”, for anyone interested in seeing it again, tonight in the Mes Tent. Th food stains have been cleaned off the screen. The snail races are set for tonight at 8 in Rosie’s bar, to be followed by an escargot roast. Colonel Blake should report to his office. There’s another phone call about Major Burns. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/51 "2001-08-29T01:22:48Z")
Mind…the gap. . . . . Mind…the gap. ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/52 "2001-08-29T01:30:07Z")
WATCH THE TRAMCAR, PLEASE. WATCH THE TRAMCAR, PLEASE. WATCH THE TRAMCAR, PLEASE. ---
**Author:** ![Wastrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f17d59/32.png) [@Wastrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wastrel)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/53 "2001-08-29T02:02:24Z")
PAGING MR. HERMAN…PAGING MR. HERMAN… ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/54 "2001-08-29T02:14:40Z")
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF TOKYO… ATTENTION CITIZENS OF TOKYO … GODZILLA has been sited outside the city. He is breathing fire and stomping on our poorly built paper buildings. Everyone RUN AND SCREAM LIKE HELL!!! [sub]It won’t do any good, but you gotta do something.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/55 "2001-08-29T02:18:57Z")
_People of Earth your attention please, this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes, thank you very much._ ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/56 "2001-08-29T02:56:18Z")
It is my privilege to extend the laurel and hearty handshake to our new… (pause) nigger" [sub]“Blazing Saddles” quote, if you didn’t know. Anyone ready for the response?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/57 "2001-08-29T03:06:42Z")
[/annoying muzak] Attention SDMB shoppers. Come on down to our Bar-B-Q pit! Located on the south side of the message boards, the pit is an informative source of rants, trolls, and concatenated invective. Always entertaining, frequently obscene, occasionally disgusting, the Pit is where all the intelligentsia gather to beat the living crap out of each other. Today’s special Pit feature: Slow-roasted Troll. Get 'em while they’re hot! [annoying muzak] ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/58 "2001-08-29T03:53:51Z")
[celestina staggers up to the microphone and taps on it to see if it’s working, but she taps it so loud she knocks teh microphone and its stand over. Loud static and feedback reverberate through the room.] [giggle] Um, I’m drunk. Anyone care to drink with me? [celestina skips off the stage singing “Follow the Yellow Brick Road.”] 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/59 "2001-08-29T04:03:58Z")
“Donner, party of 30…29…28…” “Today…I consider myself…the luckiest man in the world…” “My name is Brandon Tartikoff, I’m the head of NBC news, _ **AND I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!!** _” ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/60 "2001-08-29T04:09:52Z")
TAP … TAP … TAP … is this thing working? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584.md?page=4)