# The Straight Dope Public Address System **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584 "2001-08-28T19:23:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/61 "2001-08-29T08:02:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **pesch** _ > > [sub]“Blazing Saddles” quote, if you didn’t know. Anyone ready for the response?[/sub] “One more step, and the nigger gets it!” Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/62 "2001-08-29T08:48:09Z")
[sub]psst. psst. people in the thread. do not be alarmed but there is a mad poster among you. he that guy over in the corner who’s wearing the mest cap and moving his head around quickly. please don’t panic and startle him, the police are on their way. in the meantime please feel free to visit our concession stand where cookies are half off.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/63 "2001-08-29T09:04:53Z")
The National Research Council official time signal. The beginning of the long dash following ten seconds of silence indicates exactly 5:00 am, Eastern Daylight Time. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. … … … … … … … … … … Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. * * * This is Telbus. You have reached stop 530-2436. The time is 5:01. Line 358, Sainte-Catherine, heading west. Next bus at 5:10. Following bus at 5:40. * * * La STCUM vous souhaite la bienvenue à bord. Prochaine station, Du Collège. * * * Station, Henri-Bourassa. Merci d’avoir voyagé avec la STCUM. Bonne soirée. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/64 "2001-08-29T09:26:01Z")
_\_ All hands Abandon Ship [sub]All hands abarghhhhhhhhh[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/65 "2001-08-29T10:06:54Z")
Please say “here” when I call your name. Joe Smith “Here!” Bill Davis “Here!” Mike Rotch – Mike Rotch! Hey, what’s up with Mike Rotch? Did he sleep in or something?!? Hey, why are you all laughing?! You’re supposed to leave the substitutes alone! ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/66 "2001-08-29T10:15:46Z")
**Could I have your attention please? All persons are asked** \ **keep** \ **outside** ,\ **Bomb Sqaud, Thank You.** :eek: [sub]Apologies to Robin Williams[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/67 "2001-08-29T10:54:28Z")
Could I get a Health and Beauty price check? On, errrr, Super-Soothe 'Roid-B-Gone… that would be the 28-ounce size. Price check for register 4. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/68 "2001-08-29T11:18:16Z")
ATTENTION! ALL PERSONNEL! HELICOPTERS ON THE LANDING PAD! WE GOT CASUALTIES, PEOPLE! DOCTORS PIERCE AND Mc INTYRE, REPORT TO SURGERY! MAJORS HOULIHAN AND BURNS, REPORT TO TRIAGE! ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/69 "2001-08-29T11:48:30Z")
Damn it! We told you to watch out for the tram car! But you didn’t listen did you! Cleaning crew to the tram station. Bring a bucket. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/70 "2001-08-29T12:01:04Z")
This thread is coming to an end, please look down. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/71 "2001-08-29T12:08:27Z")
All right, couple skate only. If you don’t have a partner, please exit the ring. Again, couple skate only! ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/72 "2001-08-29T13:00:09Z")
And now, before the start of today’s ball game, will you please join us in honoring America as cute-as-a-pin little 8-year-old Leslie Gorasawki sings our National Anthem. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/73 "2001-08-29T14:09:07Z")
Welcome![sub] [sup]Welcome![/sub][/sup] [sub]Welcome![/sub] To Another Evening of SDMB Mud Boggin’ Hot Roddin’ Motorised Mayhem!! [sub][sup]Mayhem![/sub][/sup] [sub]Mayhem![/sub] [sub] do I have to repeat everything 3 times? OK, your the boss…[/sub] Featuring tonight “The Bohemoth” against the “Rosie Wolf” in the mother of all Battles! [sub][sup]battles![/sub][/sup] [sub]Battles![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/74 "2001-08-29T14:53:28Z")
Minimum Waaaaaaaaage - _ **HYAH!** _ Gostinniy Dvor - perekhod na liniu dva. Sleduiuschaia stantsiia - Vasileostrovskaia. Ostorozhno! Dveri zakryvaiut’sa. Vasileostrovskaya. Sleduiuschaia stantsiia - Primorskaia. Ostorozhno! Dveri zakryvaiut’sa. Poezd pribyl - nakonechnaia stantsiia, Primorskaia. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/75 "2001-08-29T15:02:27Z")
Your attention please. . . Kindly note that smoking is prohibited in the auditorium. During the show, please refrain from using flash photography. Thank you and enjoy the show! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/76 "2001-08-29T15:05:29Z")
And those of you sitting on the left side of the plane, you might enjoy looking out and seeing Cape Canaveral–it’s the large grey square there on the coast. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/77 "2001-08-29T15:07:26Z")
“Hello Allison!..” [sub]Anyone get that? It’s lame.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/78 "2001-08-29T15:08:03Z")
**THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!!! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!!! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!!! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/79 "2001-08-29T15:09:00Z")
:: **Superdude** steps up to the micrphone:: Hey, thank you. You’re a wonderful crowd. I just gotta say that. I just flew back into town today, and boy! are my arms tired. No applause, please. Just throw money. Well, that’s all my time tonight. But remember to to tip your waiters and waitresses. They need your tips to survive, because they make shit. You’ve been a wonderful crowd. I’ll be here all week. try the veal. :: **Superdude** walks off stage:: ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/80 "2001-08-29T15:12:01Z")
:: **thinksnow** walks up to the microphone:: I’m gonna karaoke every song the Beatles have ever recorded. I won’t do all of _Hey Jude_. That’d take way too long. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584.md?page=5)