# The Straight Dope Public Address System **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584 "2001-08-28T19:23:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/81 "2001-08-29T15:41:48Z")
LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL You don’t have to go home, but you 'aint sleeping here! **this means you, ChiDopers!** ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/82 "2001-08-29T16:03:11Z")
B-13, B13… G-49, G49… No, Mrs. Ignatowski, you can’t have Bingo yet. I’ve only called 2 numbers. Read your card better, dear. Can a staff member please help Mrs. Ignatowski read her card? I-21, I21… ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/83 "2001-08-29T16:23:19Z")
**ATTENTION. YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. EUTYCHUS55 HAS LEFT THE FORUM. THAT IS ALL.** ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/84 "2001-08-29T16:29:47Z")
Heeeeeeeeeey, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick you up later!!! [sub]I’m so embarrassed that I remembered that… ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/85 "2001-08-29T16:41:26Z")
Trans American flight 209 from Los Angeles is now arriving at gate 12. Gate 13. Gate 14. Gate 15… ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/86 "2001-08-29T16:44:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Heeeeeeeeeey, good lookin’! We’ll be back to pick you up later!!! > > [sub]I’m so embarrassed that I remembered that… [/sub]\*\* [Francesca’s Second Law](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1534064) in action! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/87 "2001-08-29T16:59:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pcubed \* > \*\* > [Francesca’s Second Law](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1534064) in action! \*\* Actually, I was thinking of the original commercial for **Mr. Microphone[sup]TM[/sup]**… I’d forgotten it was used on the Simpsons… ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/88 "2001-08-29T17:03:20Z")
[/annoying muzak] Attention SDMB shoppers. Please come over to the grand opening of our brand new forum, [Cafe Society](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?forumid=13&daysprune=). Your moderators **Eutychus55** and **Ukelele Ike** have all of the latest opinions in stock on everything from movies to art to literature to the Family Circus. Head on over and get some for yourself! And for our grand opening special, we’re featuring two-ton boxes of circus peanuts, at just two for $1.99. [annoying muzak] ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/89 "2001-08-29T17:07:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*May I have your attention please? May I have a show of hands of how many of you had the fish? > > And…does anyone here know how to fly an airplane? \*\* and, of course… > [@](#): > > \*\* Oh, god Frank. My lips are SO hot. Kiss me Frank- kiss my Hot Lips !!!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Mystery\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Mystery\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mystery_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/90 "2001-08-29T17:11:50Z")
May I have your attention please? This is Sergeant Tim Mccarthy for the Indiana State Police. On your way home from this afternoon’s game, please remember to be courteous to the other drivers and obey all of the rules of the road. If you’re drinking, please don’t drive. And follow the directions of the police officers when crossing the road outside the stadium. Remember, anyone who tries to bolt through traffic… is a real nut. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/91 "2001-08-29T17:21:16Z")
Attention. These are the SDMB School Announcements for August 29, 2001. The lunch special today (for the third day in a row) from **UncleBeer** is beer. Big surprise, folks. Incoming Troll Orientation continues today in the BBQ Metal Shop with **Alphagene**. So if you hear screaming coming from that area of building, don’t be alarmed. In totally unrelated news, I’m sure, the Senior SDMB Photographers Club would like to announce an exhibition of their most recent work. The showing is entitled, “Tools of Satan”. Beloved Moderator **JillGat** has changed her name to **Jill Magruder**. She blatantly denies it’s because _someone_ published her admission of being puked on at a carnival, but we know better. The Marine Corps Band will be performing Tchaikovsky’s _1812 Overture_, complete with live artillery, at 7:00 p.m. Saturday October 27, in **thinksnow** ’s apartment, to be followed immediately by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in conjunction with the New York Philharmonic performing Mozart’s _Requiem_. Tickets are available in the office; seating is limited. Sponsored by “Harry Buffalo”. Finally, would whoever left the “GRY” question in GQ please come to **Manny** ’s office? He has a special reward for you. ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/92 "2001-08-29T17:23:03Z")
[tap tap tap] Testes, testes… One, two… Testes, testes… ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/93 "2001-08-29T17:26:06Z")
…Gate 22. 23. 24. 25… ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/94 "2001-08-29T17:35:19Z")
/hijack/ > [@](#): > > **by mrblue92** > to be followed immediately by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in conjunction with the New York Philharmonic performing Mozart’s _Requiem_. I always thought Bach’s Organ Fugue in D Minor would be appropriate…but probably too loud. 😛 /end hijack/ ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/95 "2001-08-29T20:37:06Z")
“Attention Mr. Botha. Mr. P. W. Botha. Please pick up a _white_ courtesy telephone.” ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/96 "2001-08-29T21:02:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > **I always thought Bach’s Organ Fugue in D Minor would be appropriate…but probably too loud.** You mean the Toccata and Fugue, dear. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584/97 "2001-08-29T21:20:27Z")
“His computer’s off. Luke, you’ve turned off your targeting computer!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dope-public-address-system/78584.md?page=4)