# The Straight Doper's Survivor **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191 "2000-06-22T14:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/181 "2000-07-07T11:11:46Z")
About the time everyone else dropped out and 4 poor souls were left to duke it out over some palm fronds, coconut milk, and the occasional monkey butler. And, who are you? An invading cannibal? Lost merchant marine captain? Hallucinogenic mirage of my id/ego/superego? Tell me or I’ll filet you with this bamboo I found near the sugar caves. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/182 "2000-07-07T13:15:24Z")
Oh, Mully. You don’t understand what it is to tango with a hormonally imbalenced Swiddles. 'Tis a dangerous dance, my friend. Now, because you amuse me, I am giving you one more chance. Return the potato chips, unharmed, to me, or face dire, dire consequences. And I’m not talking about the fun kind of dire consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/183 "2000-07-07T13:49:43Z")
So unbalanced, in fact, that she’s seeing double. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/184 "2000-07-07T14:16:09Z")
I’m just so enraged at the loss of my tuberous root, you see, Cyn, that I’m just clicking all sorts of buttons. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/185 "2000-07-07T14:24:52Z")
::avoiding temptation:: I understand completely. Carry on. If you need a massage, let me know. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/186 "2000-07-08T16:05:18Z")
I could sure go for some boiled coconuts right now. And luau. And a pig on a spit. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/187 "2000-07-08T21:07:42Z")
And some island rum. There must always be island rum. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/188 "2000-07-09T01:52:14Z")
Look at them times and dates, kids! Mr. Cynical Member Registered: Apr 2000 Posts: 994 **07-07-2000 08:24 AM** And the next: Mullinator Member Registered: Sep 1999 Posts: 1621 **07-08-2000 10:05 AM** Count 'em up and weep! Of course, I’ll still let you all stay on my lil’ island. I likes you. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/189 "2000-07-09T14:43:28Z")
Damn, I was hoping you hadn’t noticed. Well I, for one, could use some soap… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/190 "2000-07-09T18:03:14Z")
hey, what happened, where did i go? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/191 "2000-07-10T12:22:58Z")
Ah, soul, the question is “where did any of us go?” Damn. I need coffee NOW. So, what, do we have to crown Cyn our leader and have a sacrificial tribute or something? ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/192 "2000-07-10T12:26:30Z")
I am NOT giving up this island that easily. You’ll have to eat my cold, dead carcass before I move off of this desolate strip of sand that I now call my home. I’ll outlast every last one of you. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/193 "2000-07-10T13:06:37Z")
where are my legs? why is there a large blue crab waving for me to come over and join him for tea? howcome all the little mushroom people are gathering around my nonexistent feet? nice little smiles they have though, oh what a day. should i just lay here in the sand and drink some tea with mr. crab… ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/194 "2000-07-10T14:09:05Z")
Mully, did you slip Soul some of those funky mushrooms? I’m not sure if it’s a crab, soul, it looks more like a (I can’t believe I’ve fallen this low) rock LOBSTER!!! Yaaaaaaaaahhh… So now does that annoying guy come onto our island and tell us that fire is representative of life, yada yada yada? Do we get to tie him up and make HIM the sacrificial offering? ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/195 "2000-07-10T15:07:56Z")
nope, he tastes like crab. he’s a crab. a big blue crab. :::wonders if mr.fire wants to play, stares dreamily into the flames of the pit::: :::starts to hum the tune of rock lobster, no idea of where that just popped into his head from…::: ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/196 "2000-07-10T15:30:53Z")
…Twistin’ ‘round the fire Havin’ fun Bakin’ potatoes Bakin’ in the sun… ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/197 "2000-07-10T15:38:43Z")
Soul, you are not allowed to play over at my tent anymore. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/198 "2000-07-10T16:06:22Z")
Wow, I sure as hell have been hanging out in the wrong tree. What exactly has been going on in that tent, Mully? I mean, have we been on this island THAT long? ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/199 "2000-07-10T17:15:32Z")
…In walked a jelly fish There goes a dog-fish Chased by a cat-fish In flew a sea robin Watch out for that piranha There goes a narwhal HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!.. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/200 "2000-07-10T17:37:22Z")
You know, I am starting to consider the very real possibility that our escapades on this island may last forever. Much like the grim visages of soldies on the Bataan Death March, I see the 4 of us marching inexorably onward until this olitary thread is big enough to crash the Chicago Reader servers. Now, who’s up for some sliced mango and swimsuit modeling? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=11)