# The Straight Doper's Survivor **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191 "2000-06-22T14:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/241 "2000-07-13T18:31:03Z")
I’m the only chick. I’ve got the Immunity Uterus. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/242 "2000-07-13T19:18:15Z")
bjOrn + seagull powered drill = hours of squicking excitement. Swiddles’ uterus hath been trumped. (This may end up being the worst post I have ever made. I’ll just blame it on the sunstroke.) I never can decide if the vast majority of the board has forgotten about this thread and never looks at it, or if they are all silently watching us thinking we are absolutely insane. I am fine with either option. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/243 "2000-07-13T19:38:46Z")
At least you’re not gonna try anything with the frozen chunk of excrement that fell from the jetliner yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/244 "2000-07-13T19:41:36Z")
I vote for Mully, only because he mentioned squicking. blech. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/245 "2000-07-14T13:18:53Z")
Since I have apparently killed this thread with my reference to various disgusting practices, I propose a change of pace. Time for coconut milk sponge baths and some island crab etoufee. Eat hearty and then we dance! ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/246 "2000-07-14T13:52:55Z")
You’re all a bunch of GOAT FELCHING UTERUS BLOATING MONKEY SQUICKING LAME AS A STARFISH AND AS MUCH A WINNER AS A DRIED UP ONION SKIN CELL LOSERS! and this here nuclear warhead with this little red button in my hands is gonna prove it. Any one wanna try me? (broad grin across soulslings face lets everyone know he’s seriously crazy) This thread will not die unless locked. And I intend to make sure of that. Try me. **bj0rn** , Manhattan is deserted, it’s full of lots of pests, but otherwise deserted… and how can you speak, we ate you at my party last night? ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/247 "2000-07-14T14:40:35Z")
Yeah, as long as I am around this thread can count on a post every day. They end up with me talking to my invisible island buddy “Sneaky Joe”, but it should be enthrallingly entertaining. And if you disagree, then take it up with Swiddles, the local island vixen. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/248 "2000-07-14T15:06:59Z")
::Swiddles’ lower lip begins to quiver:: Sniff. I’ve been on this island with no chocolate, no conditioner and no trashy mystery novels for weeks. Cyn developed Tourrette’s, and screamed at us, and now it appears soul has caught it, and dammit, it’s all just TOO MUCH Mwwaaaahaaahaaaaa… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/249 "2000-07-14T15:37:46Z")
…awwww, Swiddles dear, i was just faking tourettes. I know that makes me out to be a real bastard, but here’s a hug for you (hugs Swiddles, slips some godiva chocolate bars in her pockets). Now, feel better? If i tell you the stories of my love life, is that trashy enough for you? ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/250 "2000-07-14T15:47:45Z")
We could always start an island improv group that acts out trashy romance novels. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/251 "2000-07-14T15:59:08Z")
::sniff:: Ah, thanks, fellas. Soul, usually in mystery novels, there are dead bodies involved. Am I to assume the same can be said for your love life? And Mully, I really think you just want an excuse to knock someone else out of the running. “What? It felt right to kill him! It was a valid character choice! Negate this!” ::Swiddles happily munches on her chocolate:: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/252 "2000-07-14T16:01:54Z")
Hello, I’m back to normal! I had to spew forth a bit of venom there for a while, I was in a bad mood. [buddy] I’m feeling much better now! [/buddy] ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/253 "2000-07-14T16:32:25Z")
Just to be on the safe side you still have to sleep in the sulfur mines for another night. However, I do think you would do a fine job playing Brick Stonehouse, the lead rogue in the island improv trashy romance show called “Plunging Shorelines.” ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/254 "2000-07-14T16:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > …Soul, usually in mystery novels, there are dead bodies involved. Am I to assume the same can be said for your love life? close enough. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/255 "2000-07-14T18:37:33Z")
_looks in_ _decides it’d be too hard to come play now_ Oh well, I can always watch. Wouldn’t want to challenge Swiddles for all the male attention. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/256 "2000-07-14T18:48:41Z")
Eh. Apparently my uterus holds no sway here, Falcon. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/257 "2000-07-14T18:52:50Z")
Start swaying your uterus around, and you’ll get plenty of attention, believe it. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/258 "2000-07-14T19:03:52Z")
ick. Thanks for the visual, Cyn. It’s getting rather dull around here. Anyone up for a game of strip poker? ::Swiddles giggles inwardly, with the knowledge that her mother grew up in Atlantic City, and taught her daugher every nasty casino trick in the book.:: ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/259 "2000-07-14T19:11:42Z")
::Mully giggles evilly knowing that a healthy portion of his college was paid for with money earned from fleecing frat boys in poker games. He also knows over 200 different games, meaning knowledge and experience are on his side. And, with the ability to pull and ace when needed, he likely has the dexterity. And, having played in more than a couple 20 hour marathon sessions, he likely has the stamina to outlast Swiddles and watch the clothes come flying off.:: Poker? Yeah, I think I have heard of it. That’s the game where you try to get all red card, right? I guess I’ll play, it sounds like fun. I hope I do OK. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/260 "2000-07-14T19:15:28Z")
Fuck that, you’re playing poker? I’m in. _grins_ Oh, and Swiddles? _hands over tons of chocolate_ Present for ya, hon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=14)