# The Straight Doper's Survivor **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191 "2000-06-22T14:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/361 "2000-07-31T14:53:51Z")
Nope…your one lounge singer (namely ME) is still here, hon! ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/362 "2000-07-31T15:01:11Z")
Hey **Falcon** , then it looks like it’s just you and me… _wink_wink\* ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/363 "2000-07-31T15:03:30Z")
Falc, sweetie, you know you’re my number one compatriot in Indigo Girls quotes, and Everclear groupieness. You have fantastic taste, and I respect you 100%. HOWEVER, I claimed the title of torch singer way back on page 7. So you are not the one and only lounge singer 'round these parts. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/364 "2000-07-31T15:11:57Z")
Ah! A threesome. Ladies, please, no bickering, let’s make love, not war… I have a wonderful suite reserved for just us… come, follow me… ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/365 "2000-07-31T15:16:13Z")
Swiddles! I meant that one of the lounge singers was around, not that I was the only one. A thousand apologies for the misunderstanding. And soulsling, that sounds like a wonderful idea…think you can show me those tattoos in person? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/366 "2000-08-01T01:01:33Z")
Gee… I’ve heard of being roasted before but sheesh!!! ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/367 "2000-08-01T01:53:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dpr \* > \*\*Gee… I’ve heard of being roasted before but sheesh!!! \*\* Shush! Food doesn’t speak. Now be eaten like a good gentleman. Mind your manners. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/368 "2000-08-01T12:44:55Z")
I’ve checked Miss Manners, and I believe it’s “Food doesn’t speak until it’s spoken to,” ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/369 "2000-08-01T13:02:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > \*\*I’ve checked Miss Manners, and I believe it’s “Food doesn’t speak until it’s spoken to,” \*\* Shush! You’re a lounge singer, sing. Eat your food and stop talking to it, that’s not normal. Can’t we ever have a decent and respectable quiet family meal around here? What kind of disfunctional family is this? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/370 "2000-08-01T13:26:23Z")
SHUT UP. You don’t CONTROL me. You’re not the BOSS of ME. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! ::stomps foot three times and runs off to her tree to listen to loud, angry, disfunctional family music:: ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/371 "2000-08-01T13:37:25Z")
**Swiddles**! [sub][father knows best voice][/sub] Now, you come down from that tree young lady, and sit down and join your not quite functional yet wholeheartedly loving not so real family like a grown woman your age ought to. Mully and Mr.Cyn took a lot of time preparing that Doperfried tourist for you and well… it’s just plain rude of you to talk to your food when it’s supposed to be eaten young lady. Now, you know we love you and don’t want to do anything to upset you dear, so please, come back and join us for some dpr meat and I promise I’ll let you bring your friend monkey to the dinner table as well… Now come along young lady… :: places pipe back in mouth, heads for the dinner table…:: [sup][/father knows best voice][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/372 "2000-08-08T14:45:42Z")
Oh pooh! Can’t we all just get along? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=18)