# The Straight Doper's Survivor **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191 "2000-06-22T14:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/81 "2000-06-27T14:41:44Z")
what, swiddles is nekkid now? :::decides to just give up this whole charade for now and join swiddles on the beach, pulls his cell phone and mobile palm out from his leaf made pouch and orders an air drop of pizza with pineapple toppings and some sangria.::: what a life huh? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/82 "2000-06-27T14:49:55Z")
::Swiddles wakes up nekkid:: Dammit, not again! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/83 "2000-06-27T14:52:59Z")
See, you shoulda let me put on the suntan lotion, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO, you had to threaten me with darts. How’s that burn feel, missy? ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/84 "2000-06-27T14:55:27Z")
:::passes the aloe over to Swiddles::: don’t worry, pizza’s on its way. i’m having it delivered. everyone is welcome to join us. :::sets up a grill from bamboo and stones::: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/85 "2000-06-27T15:03:10Z")
::offering soulsling his pizza cutter:: Truce? Let’s not let this turn into lord of the flies! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/86 "2000-06-27T15:07:17Z")
::donning a caftan:: I am never going outside without sunscreen again. I am never going outside without sunscreen again. Who has parmesan cheese? Um, soul, I really hope that’s real aloe and not the dark, shiney, tri-leafed version Mully is so fond of… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/87 "2000-06-27T15:09:55Z")
nah, brought this stuff with me, i burn easy. :::watches as the air drop arrives with the sangria and pizza and parmesian cheese::: ok, truce ladies and gents. i’m hungry. {where did my cats go???} :::shifts eyes at mr.cynical::: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/88 "2000-06-27T15:22:15Z")
Really, soulsling. They’re of the four leged variety, which honestly puts them right out of contention for my dining pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/89 "2000-06-27T15:27:16Z")
Hey, yea. You still have to atone for defiling my darling kitty. ::narrows eyes:: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/90 "2000-06-27T15:37:50Z")
After actually looking the word up, I think that Defiled might have been too strong a word. My apologies are in order ::kissing Swiddles’ feet:: Can you ever forgive me? ::massaging her toes:: I sowwy. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/91 "2000-06-27T15:38:38Z")
i’ll expect you won’t be needing to eat any pizza then **mr.cynical** , and i also expect you to clean up after yourself. 4 legged variety indeed. hmph! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/92 "2000-06-27T15:49:38Z")
You killed and ate my cat and offer a foot rub? I think now. Now, if you had made a mistake, and accidently killed and ate, say, a mongoose or something, that might be acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/93 "2000-06-27T16:02:25Z")
it’s ok swiddles, i’ll give you a foot rub, mr.cynical can just go sit in the corner over there and face the tree. he’ll have to think about what he did wrong. BAD boy! ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/94 "2000-06-27T16:15:06Z")
So here I am still skulking around in the jungle while you people are eating pizza in the shade! That’s it, there either better be some serious pizza sharing, or I am going to kidnap Mr. Cynical, cover him in mud, and stick him in the sun until he develops are hard outer layer. I’ll take spinach with extra mushroom. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/95 "2000-06-27T16:17:56Z")
Now who ever said I ate the kitty? It’s right over there, sunning itself on a rock. Sheesh, no respect, I tellya. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/96 "2000-06-27T16:21:08Z")
ok, pizza for all. anyone happen to have some glasses, sangria just don’t taste right coming out of my coconut shell. mully, you were invited, didn’t you get the invitation, it was clearly marked on the leaf i sent you via monkey messenger… sheesh! open your mail man! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/97 "2000-06-27T16:35:09Z")
TIKI! phew. I was worried there for a minute. Coconut shells? What are we, high society? We’ll drink from the bottle! No backwashing. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/98 "2000-06-27T18:28:43Z")
:::no backwashing? woops. ::: so uh…, how’s that sangria guys? and how did only the 4 of us end up on this deserted island, i could have sworn there were others out there… Mr.Cynical, how hungry were you??? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/99 "2000-06-27T18:30:33Z")
::aside:: We’ve replaced Swiddles’ O.J. with Spanish Fly. Let’s see if she notices! ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191/100 "2000-06-27T18:35:49Z")
be nice, i wouldn’t want to have to whip out my tachi sword on you, i know how to use it too well. 😃 you should know that spanish fly tastes entirely better WITH orange juice, sheesh. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straight-dopers-survivor/23191.md?page=6)