# The Straightforward Thread - A game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320 "2001-11-14T15:15:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/1 "2001-11-14T15:15:21Z")
No double entendre allowed No sarcasm allowed No similes or metaphor allowed No smilies allowed No d&r allowed SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, and nothing else. * * * Based solely on what I’ve read of his posts and knowing absolutely nothing about him personally, I find Coldfire to be sexually attractive. This is mainly because he lives in Amsterdam. I have a picture in my head of what he looks like TO ME, and I do not want it altered. He is a fantasy man. I wish to engage in vaginal sexual intercourse with him. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/2 "2001-11-14T15:33:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*I have a picture in my head of what he looks like TO ME, and I do not want it altered. He is a fantasy man. > > I wish to engage in vaginal sexual intercourse with him. \*\* Do you wish this in your fantasy world or in person? Not to pry but it would seem important. In person would seem preferrable but it might impact your fantasy vision. Much like a movie sometimes ruins characters you visualized differently when reading a book. Then again the real McCoy (err…Coldfire) could be even better than your fantasy. Some guys have all the luck…of course I believe you make your own luck but Coldy is lucky nonetheless (note: that is not sarcasm). ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/3 "2001-11-14T15:37:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whack-a-Mole \* > **Some guys have all the luck…** This, I believe, is a cliche. Was that in the rules? It should be. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/4 "2001-11-14T15:44:02Z")
Simetra and Whack a mole have made me happy because they chose to participate in my game. Responses to a thread that I’ve started make me smile and validates my existence. jar ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/5 "2001-11-14T15:50:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*No double entendre allowed > No sarcasm allowed > No similes or metaphor allowed > No smilies allowed > No d&r allowed > > SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, and nothing else.\*\* Because you have taken away every avenue I have for couching my meanings and intentions, this is the most terrifying thread I have ever attempted to participate in. As a result, I am reduced to only being able to make the most extremely innocuous and banal observations. The temperature outside my office is 63º F. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/6 "2001-11-14T15:52:06Z")
Coldie can have sex with you from Amsterdam in fact. You do know why? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/7 "2001-11-14T15:56:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Simetra and Whack a mole have made me happy because they chose to participate in my game. Responses to a thread that I’ve started make me smile and validates my existence. > > jar \*\* This reminded me: People don’t seem to comment on my posts all that often. While not _in_validating my existence, it does sometimes make me wonder if my comments and questions are worth posting at all. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/8 "2001-11-14T15:57:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > **Because you have taken away every avenue I have for couching my meanings and intentions, this is the most terrifying thread I have ever attempted to participate in.** After careful consideration and several minutes of deep-breathing exercises, I believe I have sufficiently overcome my anxiety and am now able to participate more fully. If we were both single and she were amenable to the idea I would spend numerous days pushing **jarbabyj** towards the pinnacle of physical sexual gratification. She is not the sole female Doper I feel this way about. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/9 "2001-11-14T15:59:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Coldie can have sex with you from Amsterdam in fact. You do know why? > 😉 \*\* NO SMILIES! Sheesh. Yeah, **Tygr** , I know what you mean. I’m not sure I’m even capable of speaking straightforwardly on the SDMB anymore (if indeed I ever was). Lessee here… I’m drawing a blank. (And cliches _are too_ allowed, **Simetra** ; **jarbabyj** didn’t say nothin’ about no cliches. Although maybe there should be a bad grammar rule.) [sub]Oops. Almost put in a winking smilie there.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/10 "2001-11-14T16:01:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*Coldie can have sex with you from Amsterdam in fact. You do know why? > 😉 \*\* I assume you are speaking of his large penis, which, if it were truly miles and miles long, would be able to penetrate my vagina. Although I feel that this may be an exagerration of it’s actual size. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/11 "2001-11-14T16:07:19Z")
I think that **Jarbaby** should allow her fantasy to be altered by looking at the Dopefest pictures containing **Mr. Coldfire.** I say this because, although I have no idea what her fantasy Coldy looks like, I think the **pictures** of the real thing- and, one can assume, the man himself- are impressive as hell. I’m disappointed with myself that I did not go to DragonCon this year, even though it’s not that far and I had originally planned to go. I say this because the more I read her posts, the more I would like to have had the chance to hang out with **Arden Ranger**. I would give my right arm at this point for someone I can actually have a friendly email relationship with. I just want someone to banter with, on cosmic and not-so-cosmic topics, cause I express myself better in writing than in person. An email to look forward to every day. There are many Dopers I would like to approach with such a proposal, but I’m terrified of rejection and everyone seems so busy all the time. I have a paper and presentation due tonight, and the paper isn’t finished and the presentation is less-than-stellar. I’m also planning on doing a class exercise that has the potential to alienate even more of my peers, and the number of classmates that can actually tolerate my presence is dwindling rapidly. I spent five hours yesterday doing neuropsych testing, my brain hurts, and I don’t want to be at work anymore. So I’m here in a vain attempt to distract myself from the impending doom. Five hours, 57 minutes and counting. -BK ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/12 "2001-11-14T16:07:30Z")
I wish for **jarbaby** to validate my existence by traveling out of state with me, and the two of us engaging in vaginal/penal sexual intercourse, oral sex, and various other sexual practices, including (but not limited to) bondage and other SMBD for a period of not less than one full week. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/13 "2001-11-14T16:08:44Z")
I have found the people on this board to be generally witty, smart, fun, and open with their lives. I have also found, in person, several females who fit within these parameters as well as having the added bonus of being very attractive, not ALWAYS in the classical beauty sense, but in MY beauty sense. The fact that they are either married, lesbians, or live far away (or all three), leaves me a single man. This does not cause much distress in my life. But I do miss good relationships. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/14 "2001-11-14T16:11:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\*I would give my right arm at this point for someone I can actually have a friendly email relationship with. I just want someone to banter with, on cosmic and not-so-cosmic topics, cause I express myself better in writing than in person. An email to look forward to every day. There are many Dopers I would like to approach with such a proposal, but I’m terrified of rejection and everyone seems so busy all the time. > \*\* It is my belief that after this paragraph, **bobkitty** will have people falling all over themselves to send her e-mail. I would myself, but I’m at work right now, so I probably shouldn’t start up an e-mail correspondence from that address. If she could wait a few hours, I would of course be happy to oblige. [sub]Jeez, when I type like that I keep picturing Fred MacMurray.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/15 "2001-11-14T16:11:02Z")
Well, if we’re being straightforward, I’d have to say that I’d like to have sex with Ed Zotti. He’s at that incredibly sexy age where razor-sharp wit combines with the ability to have mature, intelligent conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/16 "2001-11-14T17:21:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jazzmine \* > \*\*Well, if we’re being straightforward, I’d have to say that I’d like to have sex with Ed Zotti. He’s at that incredibly sexy age where razor-sharp wit combines with the ability to have mature, intelligent conversation. \*\* I always picture **Ed Zotti** as a Woody Allen look-alike therefore I’d never be able to have sex with him. There are a few dopers here whom I would _like_ to have sex with (or at least fondle a little) The first two that come to mind are **quixotic78** and **thinksnow**. I’ve read a lot of **thinksnow’s** posts and I think he’s really funny and I’m attracted to men with a good sense of humor and I read in **quixotic78’s** profile that he likes to have sex with women and that’s good enough for me! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/17 "2001-11-14T17:29:13Z")
This strikes me as the most atypical flirt thread I’ve ever seen on the boards. At the moment, I’m unable to formulate a flirt, typical or otherwise - methinks I’m getting a cold. Because of that, I can’t think of any place I’d rather be right now than under a pile of comforters in a dimly lit room, as my special someone prepares hot cocoa and something yummy to make me feel better. A foot rub would be nice too. That’s as straightforward as I can be at this moment. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/18 "2001-11-14T17:35:02Z")
1. I have spent a lot of time lurking around the boards. 2. I have laughed out loud a lot while lurking. My partner and co-workers have taken to looking at me funny because of this. 3. Hi Opal! 4. I have resolved to get out of lurk mode more often. 5. This is kinda fun. 6. There is no number six on this list. 7. Woohoo! It’s lunchtime…see y’all in a bit. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/19 "2001-11-14T17:38:54Z")
Having just recently seen a picture of Coldfire with his motorcycle, I must reiterate my desire to have him make love to me on a regular basis, if he promises to get permission from my husband first. The rain today in Chicago is affecting my mood and so being witty would require too much effort. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320/20 "2001-11-14T17:39:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Superdude \* > \*\*I wish for **jarbaby** to validate my existence by traveling out of state with me, and the two of us engaging in vaginal/penal sexual intercourse, oral sex, and various other sexual practices, including (but not limited to) bondage and other SMBD for a period of not less than one full week. \*\* Is grammar correction allowed? Because I was just wondering whether Superdude meant to say **penile** , as opposed to **penal**. I’m into bondage foreplay as much as the next person, but I think imprisonment is taking it a little too far. Oh, BTW, I have seen pictures of Coldfire and I think he is yummy too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-straightforward-thread-a-game/93320.md?page=2)