TeaElle: Drink three bloody marys and… you won’t remember.
I won the Indy 500 one year with a cheese wheel.
Spoons for soup, not forks. And purple is a good color.
Oh, and Horseflesh– Don’t touch it, it’s EVIL!
Please. Tony Orlando is way more talented.
Well thanks. Now I will never get that weird stain off my big spaghetti pot!!
That reminds me, it’s time to get my driver’s license renewed, and yes, I would like fries with that.
I will summon zorgublag at 8 this evening.
If a bear shits in the woods, and nobody’s there to smell it, does it still stink?
“I ran my hands up the drill bit, up to my eye, and put my other hand in the back of my head and felt it coming through the back of my head,” he said. “And that’s where pretty much the shock set in.”
Andas ate a skunk!
“Ha ha!! Dopey screwed a penguin!!!”
TD I got what you meant. It’s pretty amusing in a sick, twisted way.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
When you see the voices,then you’re in a world of hurt.
Is it warmer in the summer than in the country? Do you bring your lunch to work, or do you ride the bus?
Here’s my favorite of the non-sequiturs I have personally encountered:
My sister (an RN): Eventually everybody goes senile if they live long enough.
Me: Are you sure? I don’t believe that’s the case.
My sister: Well, you’re not going to count people like Grandma, who died young, are you?
Yeah: she had me there…