# The Stupid Joke Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 17, 2018, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464 "2018-09-17T00:27:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mumberthax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea5d25/32.png) [@Mumberthax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mumberthax)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/1 "2018-09-17T00:27:58Z")
We all know stupid jokes that are so bad, they’re actually good. What are your faves? Here, I’ll start: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling! :D:D:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/2 "2018-09-17T00:33:01Z")
What’s the one thing you can say that will anger any old lady? “Bingo!” ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/3 "2018-09-17T00:51:43Z")
An atom goes into a bar. He says to his friend, “I don’t feel very good. I think I lost an electron.” His friend says, “Are you sure?” First atom says, “Man, I’m _positive_.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/4 "2018-09-17T00:56:57Z")
My three favorites, told in this order: What’s brown and sticky? A stick. What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back when you throw it? A stick And, of course, have you heard the joke about the three holes in the ground? No? Well, well, well. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/5 "2018-09-17T01:21:02Z")
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/6 "2018-09-17T01:27:41Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > What’s red and bad for your teeth? > > A brick. I love it! ---
**Author:** ![Map\_Ylow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/map_ylow/32/85_2.png) [@Map\_Ylow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Map_Ylow)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/7 "2018-09-17T01:42:12Z")
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/8 "2018-09-17T02:07:12Z")
Why are there only 24 letters in the alphabet, now? L&M got kicked out for smoking. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/9 "2018-09-17T02:15:48Z")
When’s the best time for a Dentist appointment? 2:30 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/10 "2018-09-17T02:44:44Z")
Why does Irish bean stew have, at most, 239 beans? One more would make it too farty (240). ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/11 "2018-09-17T03:14:07Z")
> [@Tatterdemalion](#): > > When’s the best time for a Dentist appointment? > > 2:30 And where does the tooth fairy live? Massatoothetts. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/12 "2018-09-17T04:24:31Z")
A potato and a stalk of celery are in a refrigerator. The potato says, “Man, it sure is cold in here.” The celery says, “HOLY CRAP! A TALKING POTATO!” ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/13 "2018-09-17T05:10:08Z")
One of my all-time favorite stupid jokes, from when I was a kid: What’s the difference between an elephant and an aspirin? An aspirin is white. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/14 "2018-09-17T10:30:16Z")
This was my daughter’s favorite when she was 5: What’s the best way to catch a fish? Have it thrown to you! ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/15 "2018-09-17T11:04:49Z")
How do you fit five elephants in a pink mini-minor Two in the front, two in the back, one on the roof-rack ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/16 "2018-09-17T11:33:49Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > What’s brown and sticky? I believe this has shown up in every single joke thread on the Dope - probably in every joke thread in the universe! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/17 "2018-09-17T11:46:24Z")
The Thunder God went for a ride Upon his favorite filly. “I’M THOR!” he cried. The horse replied, “You forgot your thaddle, thilly.” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/18 "2018-09-17T12:28:53Z")
Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? It had [agyrophobia](https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12168). ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/19 "2018-09-17T12:45:11Z")
How do you say “three Kitty’s drowned” in French? Un Deux Trois Cat Sank ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2018, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464/20 "2018-09-17T13:11:22Z")
What red on the outside, white on the inside, and goes “putt putt putt.” An outboard radish. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupid-joke-thread/821464.md?page=2)